Page 74 of Above
“Please don’t.”
Dofrel snatched my stirring stick, looking at me with slitted, scrutinizing eyes. “I saw you with him on the beach last night. Sure looked happy.”
Why did everyone stare at the beach?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Turning my head, I added the cherry pits to my cauldron.
“According to him, he never saw you. Yet, he’s also in an oddly good mood.” Dofrel leaned forward, his head blocking my view. “I saw you, Tershetta. Don’t lie to me. I’ve never seen the two of you look so…comfortable.”
“Before he sliced open my leg, you mean?” I hissed, shoving his head out of my way. Comfortable? In Altair’s presence? Never.
“Even then,” he whispered, getting back to work.
I waited for him to say more, to push and prod. But he remained silent. All I could think to say was, “You’re ridiculous.”
“If you say so, Tershetta.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Nova
“Sometimes I worry that Celeste is right. That magic is changing me.”
-From the journal of Nova Tershetta, 9271 AS
Our last illusion came with a fierce and sudden jolt. Two months had come and gone, our lives halting still and rushing forward at the same time. Death, while not expected, had become casual. Our nightmares had merged with our reality. We lived in a constant state of movement that also required us to remain vigilant.
Today, though, was the culmination of it all. From here, we would be tested on our ability to act on what we had learned. To further pave the path each elite before us had walked. And we were doing it in front of every captain, colonel, and elite who cared to watch. To witness.
Our line was buzzing with nerves, though we all dutifully remained still and silent. I had found home in my mind, which would soon be invaded and torn apart. All of my illusions had been similar, my family dead from some sort of horrible accident and those around me placing no faith in my abilities. I was mocked and ridiculed before being left alone to suffer in silence.
Sadly, I had a feeling this one would be worse. So much worse.
I was in the middle of the group, Talon in front of me. While my illusions had mostly stayed the same, I saw a change in his. Especially since we began having sex, which I gave to him whenever he asked despite knowing it would only cause pain. Talon’s fears began to all center around me. My safety, my interest, my love, my devotion. He’d scream for me, and, while I was fairly certain they were doing it to him on purpose, he almost always lost me to Altair—who took me by blade or by hand.
Altair never said anything about it anymore, but I was confident he made it worse somehow. Last night, Talon hadn’t even bothered to hide his fury. He fucked me over and over again, so hard that he left me covered in bruises the shape of his hands. This morning he had profusely apologized, telling me it wouldn’t happen again, but I wasn’t worried about it. I knew it would all be over soon, and it wasn’t like I hadn’t experienced that before.
We all speculated what this particular illusion would look like, but there was no clear answer. Even the cores, who had obviously been previously informed, were unsure what to expect according to Talon and the whispers within the halls.
So we waited and watched, the elites taking their time setting up today as if to further torment us. Abruptly, forty wisps and puffs of darkness appeared just ahead of our line, the training center light fading as the colonels and captains walked out of their shadows. Darkness encircled me, the blackness like a living, breathing entity hoping to strangle us all. Talon’s hand flung back, grabbing mine and rubbing soothing circles onto my skin. I tried to breathe, to remember all he had taught me and drilled into my mind. Faintly, I could hear the whispers he had offered me for the last few nights.
“You will succeed, Supernova. Every day you get closer to becoming the force you were meant to be. Nothing and no one can stop you.”
I felt that reassurance now as his fingers entwined with mine. For the first time, I considered what life would be like if Talon and I found some impossible way to be together after all of this. Maybe it wouldn’t be the life-altering love my parents had, but I wouldn’t ever be alone, and I’d be understood. Valued. Cherished.
“Attention trainees!” came the deep and chilling voice of General Altair. I stilled, wishing I could run away from the man who would rather see me dead than become an elite. “The time has come.”
At my back, I heard shuffling, people moving to make room for someone.
I knew who it would be. It was always him.
“Little Void,” he whispered near my ear, the smell of what had to be a musky vanilla cologne strong with the absence of his whiskey breath. Someone finally sobered up. I could feel his hand enter my hair, his fingers toying with one of my curls. Demeaning me, as always. Like I was a toy he could throw out when it lost its usefulness. Talon’s hand gripped mine tighter, his heat closer as he took a step back toward me. “Remember to think of me when your turn comes. I’m eager to watch how you believe I’ll finally kill you. Maybe it will give me some good ideas.”
“During this illusion, we will test you like we never have before,” General Altair said from somewhere in the darkness.
“You know, I would believe that if you weren’t such a gutless, weak-willed coward every time you got the chance to take me out,” I retorted to Altair, not wanting his insults to get me off track. “Now go to the back like a good little daddy’s boy.”
Talon let out the barest hint of a chuckle, my smile widening before morphing into a grimace when Altair tugged hard on the curl he still held. My head flung back, landing on Altair’s chest as his hand moved to my throat, his many rings icy on my skin as his thumb mirrored the strokes of Talon’s across my jaw. I could just make out his hair, which radiated light even in the unending darkness.
