Page 15 of Above
What else?
Death’s purrs rumbled against my ankle as she rotated her tiny body around my foot, and that was when I remembered my necklace.
Scrunching my eyes and bringing my fingers up to my collarbones, I focused on the small silver star.
Come to me. Appear upon my neck. Latch and fall against my skin. Come to me.
One of the first things a shaytan learned upon becoming a grunt was that will, intention, and focus were everything when it came to magic. We didn’t have special phrases or conduits or anything other than our minds, which added to the difficulty of it all. It meant a stray thought could cause the outcome to change. It was why we went to the range to practice defensiveand offensive magic. There was far less of a chance we would hurt others in those barren fields.
Below my fingers, I felt cool metal materialize. Peeking down, I saw that the necklace was secured, safe and sound. Perfect. Next I called upon specific books, watching with a smug smile as they all fell into my pack, the charm I had placed on it allowing for them to fit with ease.
“Nova.” Yelping, I whipped around to face the open doorway. Celeste stood there in one of my old shirts she had made me after I first got gifted magic. After so many years of washing, the now off-white, oversized shirt readcongrat on be ng mag cal, the missing letters honestly summing up how little they thought of that magic these days.
“You scared me,” I rasped out. It was the look on her face though—the utter heartbreak—that had my heart truly racing. I watched as her blinking became more rapid. At her sides, her hands bunched and stretched, fingers fidgeting. “Celeste, what’s wrong?”
“Don’t go,” she blurted. I stared forward, so unsure of what to do, let alone say. For some reason, I hadn’t guessed she would do this. Beg. It was beneath someone as fiery as my sister. Plus, she had known this was coming and not once outright asked me not to do it. “Don’t leave.”
Stars, were those tears in her grey eyes? Perfect. Just what I needed. Disappointing her was not at all what I wanted to do. The biggest reason I was even doing the shadow ritual was because of them. To take care of them. To prevent their deaths.
Were there selfish reasons? Yes, of course. But they were the most important thing to me. Above all else, I just wanted to keep them safe.
“Please don’t do this right now.” It was all I could think to say.
Celeste stepped forward, her chest rising and falling quicker than before.
“Even if you live—which isn’t likely by the way—you will still never be the same.” A gasp slipped from between my lips, and I knew then what this was really about. The same as her comments yesterday. “Everything that makes you who you are will be gone. You won’t be the same. They will poison you, Nova. And when they do, you won’t fit with us anymore.”
At some point, my sister had stopped seeing me as a part of the family and had begun to look at me as a piece of the problem.
“Last I checked, you didn’t have to fit into a family. All you needed was to be born into it. What ever happened to unconditional love and all that bullshit the four of us have always promised each other? Now that I’m different, that means I’m no longer worthy of that love? Is that what you’re saying?”
Pivoting, I snatched my bag and threw it onto my shoulders, my anger simmering—my thoughts festering. What would they do after I left? Would they punish me for leaving? For daring to be even more other? If so, how would they do it? Not write? Skip my graduation? Or worse—not take their haya?
“Stop playing the victim all of the time! You have it better than any of us. You have power and safety, two things we don’t and never will possess! All that this complex of yours does is prove that when push comes to shove, shaytan will choose themselves over anything and everything else. The world will always revolve around you!” The sound of a loud smack forced my head to whip around, my gaze catching on Celeste’s wide eyes as she seemed to plug her mouth with her palms. She couldn’t take back what she said though. Especially when I knew in my heart that she meant every word. “Nova, I didn’t mean it—”
“You’ve already branded me other. There’s no use in arguing right now,” I whispered, not looking into her eyes. If I did, Iwould break. “Just…please make sure you each take your haya. I did two jobs this week so I could stock your supply. There is enough to sustain you all for four months, but I’ll be back in three. Please, Heavens. Please.”
She gave me an imperceptible nod as she wrapped her arms around herself, seeming to shrink back from my words. Without so much as a hug goodbye, I walked around her and headed for the hallway. Dad and Mama would be better off not seeing me leave. No one needed to shed tears today.
Or maybe that was me selfishly not wanting to have to see their disappointed faces and hear their potential pleas.
Maybe if I hadn’t gotten magic then we would have all been happier. Maybe this was why the purists said that of eadi were mistakes. Either way, it didn’t matter anymore. This was our life, and I’d be damned if I gave up on saving them just because they wanted to make me their villain.
I stopped at the counter in the kitchen and tugged a pad of parchment and graphite out of the top left drawer. Sighing, I began jotting down a quick note that I knew Mama would find.
Thank you all for being the best family anyone could ask for. I hope you know that I plan to make you proud.
Love, Nova
P.S. Don’t forget to feed Death. If you don’t have any souls to sacrifice, then she will take tuna.
A sob crawled up my throat, tickling it and threatening to send me into a meltdown. Quickly, I tossed the pen down and made my way to the front door, not stopping to look back as I left behind the only home I had ever known.
Chapter Eight
Nova
“Today an of eadi was beheaded by a core boy. They’re saying he claimed she was trying to forcefully proposition him. I think he just wanted to feel her blood on his hands.”
