Page 107 of Above
“Nova Tershetta, we see your intentions. We ask you not to make rash decisions,”the stars hissed, as if mocking my train of thought. I ignored them, not interested in hearing their pleas. They’d find someone else soon enough. But I was ready to be free.
Stepping up onto the window sill, my boots slipping at first, I lifted myself. When I had a good grip on the top edge, I straightened my feet.
One jump, so quick I probably wouldn’t even get a second to register it, and I’d be with my family in the sky, soaring across the universe where we all belonged.
All I had to do was lean forward and let the ground take me.
“Mama, Dad, Celeste, I’m coming home,” I whispered into the damp night air. Then I leaned forward and let go.
For a second, I could have sworn I was falling, my death imminent and my family near, but then I felt my night dressbeing yanked, the fabric slicing into my neck. A deep grunt of effort sounded, followed by large hands gripping my arms, hauling me back up and into the harsh reality of life.
When I was through the window, the person unceremoniously yanked me to the ground, making my back ache with pain.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Talon yelled, his breath coming in quick pants. I lay there on my back, staring up at him with a frown.
“I have nothing to live for.”
“Are you kidding me?” he asked, his voice bordering on hysterical.
He had been trying to talk to me for weeks. I knew he needed someone too, but I blamed us. We had taunted Altair. We had flaunted our relationship. We had put my family in danger. I hated him and I just as much as I hated Altair. So I had been avoiding him at all costs, my work with the general aside.
“Nova, what could possibly possess you to think that? You have me! I lost my parents and sister too. I, of all people, understand. And I’ve loved you through it all. You’re all I care about anymore, yet you have the audacity to say you’re alone?”
Staring at him, I remained silent, wishing he’d leave so I could jump. I was far too weak to use a blade, and while I knew what poisons would work, I was fearful of a slow death. The jump was my best option, and he was ruining it.
“You’re really not going to say anything?” He sat across from where I lay, his hands in his lap, his shoulders slumped. Like always, Talon was asking me for more than I could give, his despair hurting me just as my own did.
There was nothing to say though. I wanted my family. I couldn’t simply replace them and feel better. My life existed for them. I revolved around their bodies like a planet to a sun, theirgravity pulling me into their orbit. Without them, I not only suffered without love, but without purpose as well.
“Supernova,” he pleaded, laying down on the ground next to me and tugging me into his warmth. He kissed my head, massaging it after, a stray tear landing on my cheek that was pressed into his chest. “I need you. Please don’t give up on me. Please stay.”
That got me. His suffering always had. Tears began streaming down my cheeks, a floodgate opening and releasing the built up water. I was a mess against him, my heart racing and hiccuped sobs beginning.
“I don’t know how to go on,” I explained, my chest physically aching. He tucked me in tighter, his legs intertwining with mine as my body began shaking. “Don’t make me stay. I don’t want to be here anymore.”
His hands released my back, going to my cheeks and lifting my chin, his lips meeting mine. He kissed me deeply, lovingly, his soft pout skimming across the entirety of my face after. Again and again he kissed me, mumbling confessions of love and promises of better.
I didn’t believe any of it.
Chapter Forty-Six
Azazel
“I tried to scrub her off me, but I still feel dirty.”
-From the journal of Azazel Altair, 9282 AS
After Tershetta had left, I was sure my life was over. When Father came in, Iknewit was.
“Son,” he drawled, his arms crossed and his chin raised. I stared at him, feeling a rare moment of peace and clarity. If I died, then at least I’d be free of him. “What you’ve done has ruined everything. You’ve upset the balance of the core families. More than that, you’ve put my plans at risk. Your mother is devastated. She won’t get out of bed or eat. And your death tomorrow will surely push her over the edge.”
“Benadell Zade has been raping me since my first night at Elite Academy,” I admitted, the shame swelling. Father didn’t even flinch. It was like he hadn’t heard me. “She told me that if I fought back, she’d make sure I didn’t graduate. Sometimes she’d even come for me multiple times a day, and all I could do was let her.”
Father remained silent for a second longer. Enough time for my hopes to rise before crumbling.
“You’re going to justify your stupidity by complaining about a good fuck or two?” His voice was angrier now, his feet stompingtoward me. The cell bars stopped him, though I figured he could have gotten past them had he wanted to. “You are a disgrace, Azazel. A waste of space and breath. Tomorrow, I will kill you with my bare hands, and before your equally worthless mother offs herself, she will bore me a better heir. One that the stars will favor.”
Unblinking, I continued to stare, dread leaving my body as I accepted what would come. Father would not save me. He would be my doom instead.
