Page 91 of Of Vows and War: Special Edition
I acknowledged then that it was the truth. It was why I could portal. Why my magic was magic and made no sense to the fae. Nothing had been put inside of me, I had been born with this thrumming in my veins. Willing me to kill and fight and conquer. I was the daughter of queens and kings past. I was a ruler by blood and right and everything that mattered. I was an Ayad.
Knees shaking, I stumbled my way closer to the king, stopping mere feet from him.
“I knew about you. Zaib had been relatively quiet for half a century. She claimed that she had found love and wanted to stay there. Malcolm came back every now and then, telling me all about the male she had fallen in love with and the good she was doing. He asked to stay awhile, just to keep an eye on her. The battles had stopped. Solei thought it a good idea to enrich our alliance by allowing our son and daughter to remain. And who were we to dictate who they could love? Did it disgust me at the time? Yes. I hated the thought of her marrying a fae. But I loathed the idea of her unhappiness more.”
Adbeel wiped at his face, his arm resting on the chair beside him. He seemed to need the support. Bellamy was nearby, watching the king with nervous eyes. I knew he was notsurprised by this turn of events, yet it still baffled me just how unphased he was.
“But then, after fifty years of thinking her happy and listening when she insisted we not visit, I received word from my daughter. She was in a panic, the note so quickly scribbled it was nearly illegible. According to her, she had been trapped. They had held her prisoner for the entire length of her stay. She said that the orange-haired queen had tortured her, and I thought perhaps they had forced Malcolm to lie. But in that time, Zaibhadfound love. She had become enamored with her guard. The son of the Royal Tomorrow, Florencia Daniox.”
My mother?
No, my paternal grandmother.
“The correspondence had claimed she was pregnant, fairly far along in fact. She told me her magic was weak, but that they were finding their way home. She encouraged me not to come get them, as I would only give away their location if I was even able to find them. At the very end, she said she was confident the baby was male. She promised to name him Zohar.”
A soft cry parted the lips that Bellamy had formed into a line. Adbeel’s words were haunting. Anyone could tell that they were leading to a horrific end. No joy or peace would find the long-dead princess. My mother.
“No less than a month later, I received word from Mia Mounbetton. She said if I stepped one foot into her realm, she would kill my daughter. She asked for gold, soldiers, land, everything. I agreed to all of it. Anything at all. I just wanted my daughter and son back. She sent only Zaib’s head and the promise of my doom if I came for my son. But I did it anyways. With me I brought two ships full of fighters. All that offered was a bloody battle and no sign of him. I meant to go again, to fight for him until my dying breath, but then she sent a hand bearing his ring—our family ring.She said I broke the rules. And I knewthen that I could not see my grandson’s severed limbs. I needed to kill them all.”
My lips quivered, my heart breaking at the realization that I could have had a real mother. One of my own. But Mia took that too.
“Solei, my late wife, was overcome with the grief of our loss. She cried for days on end. Screams could be heard from miles outside of the castle in The Royal City. And when the screams stopped, it was not because she was better, it was because she had jumped from her tower window to the rocky cliffs below. She had been silenced by her own will to not live without her son and daughter. I had held onto her so tightly that I thought she might shatter, though she was already broken beyond repair. Screams tore up my throat and seemed to release more magic than I thought I had possessed. Those piercing sounds willed Solei’s out of her too, I think—darkness meeting light. And they made The Mist just as my wife begged me to stop the fighting if only for the realm.”
I wanted so badly to ask what that last bit had to do with my mom. I chose silence though, as it seemed he was not yet done.
“I did listen at first. The Mist protected us, the fighting ended. I mourned and promised the demons of Eoforhild safety. From my lips came promises of peace and unity among our kind—all kinds, really. There was no longer fear that they might lose mothers, fathers, sons, or daughters. But then, my spies said the fae king and queen had suddenly bore a son. A son, so soon after my daughter had expected one.”
Bellamy cleared his throat, practically squirming in his skin. I was still as a statue. We both knew what Adbeel would say before he said it.
“So I went after him. I killed dozens of guards before coming across a couple walking alongside the smallest little male with pointed ears and dark hair. He was so very pale and his eyeswere so very blue, but I thought perhaps he took after his father I never got to meet. They were terrified when they saw me, the blood coating me not any help. The female ran to the nearby trees, disappearing for only a minute or so before returning and taking a fighting stance. I could sense the magic within the youngling. It had to be him. I remember thinking that as I slaughtered the male and female who were guarding him. They begged and screamed, battled and fell. I tore them to shreds and took my grandson home.”
A sob itched in my chest, asking if I might please free it. But no, these tears were not meant to be shed. This was a moment for my grandfather to mourn and cry as he recalled killing my other grandparents.
My other family.
Silence coalesced around us, clotting like the blood I shared with the demon king.
“But it was not my grandson. Bellamy truly was the fae rulers’ son. The magic I sensed had been forced into his body. And now, as I think back, I realize that the female who ran must have had you in her arms. She must have taken you and hid you amongst the trees before coming back to fight. You had been right there, but I missed you. And I mourned you when I realized Bellamy was not my grandson. But I did not help you. Did not come back. Did not do anything other than rot away. And I am so, so sorry.”
We all took collective breaths, each deeper than the last. I was light-headed by the time I finally found my voice.
“I need time,” I whispered. My eyes darted to Bellamy, who grimaced at me before blanching at the sight of Adbeel. “Bellamy, please take me to Sterling.”
Bellamy’s eyes went wide as his gaze flicked to me. “You want Sterling?”
“Yes, I need to see him. Right away. This conversation can be finished another time.” Reaching out for the sleeve of Bellamy’sshirt, I moved my gaze to the king and asked, “Is that alright with you, Your Majesty?”
Reluctantly, Adbeel nodded. I watched as he deflated, sinking back into his chair with heartbreak on his face. My heart hurt, but my mind knew better than to let it be pushed any further. I was not okay. I could acknowledge that now. I could fix it—ask for help.
After another second of looking at Adbeel, I tugged Bellamy out into the hallway and willed us to the dungeons. We landed at the top of the stairs, not exactly right, but close.
Bellamy sighed and led the way.
Chapter Forty
Asher
“Asher,” Bellamy called from behind me. I had overtaken him once the line of cells came into view so that I would not snap at him for putting Sterling in thedungeons. “Asher.”
