Page 6 of Of Vows and War: Special Edition
“I am sorry, I was just trying to finish buttoning my shirt,” he said.
His shirt?
Looking down, I realized why Sterling was bare chested. His dirty and torn shirt was on me, mostly hiding my skin beneath. But the top two buttons were left open, revealing the swell of my breasts.
“How did you get your shirt on me?” I asked, my voice hoarse. My arms shook with the effort it took to hold up my upper body, and I wondered if I would be better off just laying back down. But then Sterling let out a deep sigh, and all I could do was watch his eyes lose focus as he recalled what happened.
“Actually, it was not me. I assume you know who Malcolm is?” I nodded, the hiss that seemed to rattle my chest a startling sound. Sterling chuckled wryly before continuing. “Yeah, I am not a fan of his either. I did ask him if he would put it on you, though. Perhaps it was because I never ask anything of him, but he did it without question. Gentle does not begin to explain how he was with you. It was almost…familial. The care he afforded you, it was like a father with their small child.”
Those words hung between us momentarily, Sterling’s button nose scrunched and brows furrowed in thought. For my part, I could think of nothing but the way he had whispered to me upon the battlefield in Behman.
“I remember when these had points, you know.”
“Well,” the prince said, stealing my focus back, “it does not really matter. No amount of niceties can make up for what he has done to you. I am not attempting to sway you at all. I just thought you should know.” His head leaned forward as he spoke, forehead touching the iron bars between us. Other than his eyes, jaw, and height, he was just like the Sterling who had severed my ribs and bruised my skin.
With a deep breath, I reminded myself of what I had learned. Theon had been masquerading as Sterling. He had been the one to hurt me. This Sterling, the real one, had been held captive. There was no reason to think he would hurt me. Not yet.
Nodding, I leaned towards him, watching as his hands once more moved through the bars. His fingers made quick work of the buttons, never touching my skin, and then he backed away. Offering me the space I wanted—needed. I tried to breathe through the fear, the memories of those hands—no, not those hands—around my neck.
“How did this happen to you?” This time my voice was a sad excuse for a whisper, the rasp of it so painful I choked on thefinal word. Sterling’s lips pursed before he grabbed the cup once more and offered me another sip.
“Drink, then I will help you lie back down,” he ordered.
Water halted the argument on the tip of my tongue, and I found myself thinking back to Genevieve’s undying love for her younger brother. The desperation she so clearly felt to get him back. This man in front of me, he was the one who had earned that trust and love. It was that realization that had me gulping the lukewarm water and allowing him to help me lie down. When I was once more settled upon the stone floor, his voice rang, the first thread of Sterling’s story being woven.
“When I turned eighteen, I left Maliha for the first time. My family is not devout, nor do they enjoy traveling, so there was never a reason to go anywhere before then. But I am a curious person, and I survive on the high of learning. Above all else, I seek to know more—to become so full on the knowledge of the world that I am bursting at my seams.” Sterling’s chest rose and fell in quick movements, his head still against the bars as he spoke. But he looked me in the eye as he told his story, his gaze never straying. It was as if he wished for me to know how important these words were to him.
“In four years, I saw the entirety of the Mortal Realm. Every kingdom, every castle, every mountain, every river. It was glorious and gratifying, so I gorged myself upon it all. Yet, when I returned home with notebooks full of what I had gleaned and maps so heavily marked they could no longer be read, I was still not full. More food was out there, if only I could taste it.” Another humorless chuckle left his lips, and then he was sliding down the bars, adjusting himself to lie down. When his knees and nose were against the iron like mine, he continued. “It was that curiosity that was my true downfall.”
Silence momentarily hugged us, the cold embrace a hollow feeling. I took the time to wonder what it must be like to knowyou have only a handful of decades to trulylive.What must it be like, to live upon time that felt borrowed? To exist knowing death looms nearby, constantly waiting to steal you away from life’s loving hold? To be mortal?
“Barely a year had passed before a letter came,” Sterling finally said, a hint of anger in his voice now. “It was addressed to my father, but really, it was for me. And who would not want to marry a stunning creature from another realm? To see magic and live amongst beings greater than yourself? I begged my parents to agree. In fact, I went to my knees, pleading that they afford me a new chance to learn. My sister was the real problem.”
Genevieve? A small huff of surprise snuck through my clenched teeth, but that did not stop Sterling’s story. Instead, he seemed unable to hear me. Though he looked me right in the eyes, I wondered if perhaps he was seeing another time, long ago. When life was worth living.
“She hated the idea of me going. My sister has always been the warrior, the politician, the born queen. I was not fit for those things. I wanted to remain moving, to never cease,” a sad smile lifted the left corner of his mouth, rounding his cheek slightly. “In the end, I had been strong enough in my resolve to win that fight. After my parents sent their letter of agreement to the terms, I started plotting. They asked for one last year with me, though I had wished it would be less, honestly. Then, one month before I was meant to come to you, to start a life that I thought might finally satiate me, another letter came. This one was written in lovely script, with all of the letters connecting together and a small bit of ink spilled upon the bottom left corner. This one was from you, Asher.”
I gasped, recalling the letter I had sent him so long ago. A letter written by a naïve princess who eagerly hoped she could learn to like her new match. Who desired to heal from the loss ofthe love of her life with a gift given by the guardians she thought loved her more than anything. “I forgot I wrote you that.”
“I have it memorized.Dear Prince Sterling Windsor, my name is Asher Daniox, and I am apparently to be your wife,” he began, lifting his chin from his place on the floor. Ah, he had imagined me a haughty little thing then. I laughed, a series of coughs following the sound. He waited for my fit to end, reaching a hand through the bars to gently pat my back. I only flinched once at his touch, which my brain struggled to differentiate. After I had finally settled, he pulled his arm away, tucking his hands beneath his head and continuing.“Though we have a lifetime of learning ahead of us, I would like to start now. Tell me, Sterling, what is your favorite color? Your favorite dish? What do you do when the sun sets and you have too much energy to sleep? Do you enjoy reading? What pastries exist within the confines of the mortal realm? I simply must know it all. In case you were curious, I am eagerly awaiting your arrival. I dare say we might just have some fun together. Most sincerely, Asher.”
The two of us chuckled at the way his high-pitched imitation of my voice made my words seem almost scandalous. The Asher back then might have meant them that way, too. Not that I could recall. Nor would I ever be her again.
“You had me then. If any doubt had lingered, your words upon the page had pushed them far away. Like me, you wanted to know more. Youneededto know more. Honestly, you could not have been more perfect in my eyes. The king and queen had given us more information on your abilities than we would have expected, and my parents were so very scared of you—Genevieve even more so. I was not though. All I could think was that I might have found myself a wife who craved knowledge and adventure like I did.” Tone drowning in passion, Sterling did not seem to notice when my smile fell.
Would he wish to be my ally in this mess if he discovered just how much I had changed? Would he realize who was truly to blame for his suffering?
“Time passed excruciatingly slowly after that, like every hour was a mountain I had to climb without rope. So when the day came we were due to sail, I was riddled with anticipation. I can still feel my mother’s embrace, my father’s firm handshake, and my sister’s forehead below my lips. They deserved better than a son that would force them into such a mess.” When I opened my mouth to disagree, Sterling let out a soft shushing noise, not letting his story be silenced. “We sailed first to Isle Healer. I did not get to see much before our ship was approved for travel to the center island, but I did watch a woman slice on her palm and offer it to a small boy. The tiny little one smiled so bright the sun seemed to dim. Then he touched her palm, closed his eyes, and hehealedher.”
Wonder, so much wonder floated from his mouth and blew away in the phantom wind of his imagination. Sterling had been the epitome of joy—of curiosity and light andlife.As I looked at the man before me now, I realized just how little of that spark still existed within him. Mia had snuffed out his fire, and now he threatened to fizzle out.
“I saw the golden palace before I even saw the land. It was ostentatious to say the least. But oh how I eagerly awaited the moment we docked. In my arms I carried books upon books for you, ones I thought would bring a smile to your face or a wrinkle to your brow. In my pocket rested my grandmother’s ring, which she had gifted me before she died ten years past. Looking at the palace, I recalled regretting that the band was gold, because the color seemed too monotonous. But the sapphire shined bright, the diamonds on either side even brighter. You would have liked it, I think. But you were not there when we arrived.”
Where had I been? What had I deemed more important? I could not recall now.
“They took me straight from the docks to the palace, my four guards and I so clearly out of place that the fae seemed eager to hide us away. But the thick golden curtains and the cold golden tub could not hold my interest for long. Although, I did fully expect your lake to run gold, and I found myself staring off in the distance through my window to peek,” he admitted with a soft chuckle. His head lulled back to the ground, our eyes still locked but his mind elsewhere. “After hours had passed and I had fully unpacked, someone finally came to retrieve me. They took me to a grand room with a long golden table. The ceilings were higher than I had ever seen with four-tiered chandeliers dangling above, and still I struggled to take my eyes off of you, Asher.”
“You were sat across from Queen Mia, her grace and poise on full display as that icy gaze tracked my every movement. But you did not notice me as you leaned towards a male with wavy black hair and the most outrageous golden crown atop his head—your king. Every word he spoke seemed to transfix you, as if he were an idol you had the chance to look upon. I watched with awe when he said something that made you laugh, your humor bleeding into the air and making us all feel lighter. I could see how someone might become intoxicated by such a creature. How I, after so many years of being so impossibly unsettled, might finally breathe fully in your presence. But it was when you looked up at me, your big gray eyes wide and your power pulsing from you, that I realized I was going to marry the most extraordinary being in the entire world.”
