Page 108 of Of Vows and War: Special Edition
An explanation was necessary, but how did one elucidate why they committed graphic and horrific murder? We both knew it was not entirely self-defense. Even before Bellamy rescued me, I had done awful things. I was a murderer through and through. The wanted posters were correct in labeling me as such.
“All my life, I have been a killer. I took my first life almost immediately after I came into my magic. You have watched me become more and more corrupt, and all the while you have loved me despite my wickedness. But I think it is important that you know just how dark I have become.” Taking a deep breath, I resisted the urge to look at her and pushed on. “In the last year, I have rather brutally murdered more than I can count, your rebels included. Once, I would have wallowed in regret because of what I had done, but I do not feel that way anymore. I am what I am, and I understand if I am no longer someone you can call your best friend. But I needed you to know that. To knowmeas I am now. Because that is the real reason your rebels wanted me dead. They see me for what I am—a monster.”
Nicola’s free hand suddenly pressed into my chest, pushing me back and forcing me to stop. She was in front of me in a flash, her deep green dress swishing around my legs.
“First of all, you are not the only one with blood staining your hands. Yes, you have done heinous things, but you are not unique in that respect.” I stared at her with wide eyes, her face fierce as she scolded me. “In all my life, I have never been loved by someone as you have loved me. Not even Kafele. Without fail, you have been at my side for every mishap, tear, laugh, disappointment, and accomplishment for almost my entire life. Doing the same for you was not a favor or a hassle.”
A male wearing the colors of Behman came towards us, momentarily silencing Nicola. But all the while, her big brown eyes glared my way. When he had finally passed, she shoved me toward the wall, forcing my back to smack into the rock.
“Second, the rebels had been active long before I took over. Those who wish to harm you are a part of the group that need to be weeded out, many of which do not want to follow me at all.” I nodded, hoping that she saw how seriously I was taking her—how intently I was listening. “Everyone sees my potential and the benefit of having an Oracle at the helm. Still, I am not surprised that they went behind my back and defied my orders to get to you. Some of it I even foresaw, but I watched you handle it yourself. What you did was not helpful for the cause, but I have worked hard to make sure they are all ready to fight onyourside. Because it isyouwho will change the Fae Realm for the better. Onlyyoucan unite the mortals, demons, and fae. You are our savior in so many ways. I need you to see that.”
Was that a tear rolling down my cheek? Yes, it was.
What did I say to that? Thank you for being the best possible friend I could ever ask for in all my life? That did not sound like enough.
“Third—”
“There ismore?”I asked, my voice cracking. She slapped my arm, a laugh slipping past her lips before she hushed it with a stern expression.
“Third,we have plans in place to make sure that the rebel movement does not die out, which includes striving for unity throughout the entire realm. I promise that I will do everything in my power to make sure that those who are willing to sacrifice innocents are taken care of. You have every right to hate that. And, before you say or think it, that does not make you a hypocrite.” Gods, she really did think of everything. See everything, was more like it. It must have been so exhausting,knowing so much. Feeling the mass of the future upon your shoulders was something that I could relate to, and I hated seeing it weigh her down. “I am sorry that I did not tell you what was going on. It is hard juggling what I have seen with what still needs to happen. I just…struggle. We can further discuss it all soon, and I am still in contact with my second who is eager to speak with you. This is all going to work out. Alemthian will see brighter days, I know it. Wecando this.”
Nodding, I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into me, hugging her so fiercely it probably hurt. “Thanks, Nic. I love you so much.”
“I love you too. Always, Ash,” she whispered, letting go of me with a sniffle. We stared at one another, basking in the friendship and sisterhood we had cultivated, the rare perfection of such a thing worth reveling in. A smile slowly lifted her cheeks as she took a few steps away from me. “Onto less morose things.”
Something hard smashed into me then, knocking the air out of my lungs and making me fall to the ground in a heap.
“Ash baby!” Farai screamed, pulling me into a hug. “Nic says we are going for a picnic!”
“Eternity above, Fair, you are going to flatten her,” Jasper scolded between quite unserious cackles.
“Nah, she lives. I have seen it,” Nicola stated matter-of-factly.
I opened my eyes, seeing the three of them all smiling down at me, and groaned in pain.
“You three are crazy.”
***
“Do you ever wonder how we went from kissing each other by the lake and having no responsibility—other than not gettinginto too much trouble—to suddenly being in the midst of a war?” Nicola asked. I snorted, turning my head so our noses touched.
We were all four laying on a thick quilt we had spread out on the rocky ground at the base of one of the mountains. Half-eaten food surrounded us, bottles of wine being passed back and forth as we talked.
“You were a bad kisser, so I was forced to find better,” I teased, nudging her nose with mine. Her fingers stung where they suddenly came up and flicked me, my forehead momentarily aching. Farai burst into laughter at my other side, Jasper trying and failing to simmer him down.
“I was doing you a favor since you were a lonely little menace that no one wanted to make out with.” Did Nicola know about Sipho? Had she realized I had, in fact, been kissed by someone other than her before then?
I had never told her, but I wondered if she knew anyways with that power of hers.
“The only way to know for sure is if you kiss again,” Farai declared, lifting his pointer finger towards the sky. “Or maybe you should both kiss me.”
“Absolutely not!” Jasper shouted, sitting up so fast that he knocked over our last bottle of wine. At that, we all burst into laughter, the four of us howling and rolling across the ground like wild animals.
“Remember that one time in Academy when you laughed so hard that milk came out of your nose and went into Jasper’s eyes?” I gasped out between giggles, Nicola laughing even harder at the memory.
“Hecried!”she shouted, snorting. My hands went to my cramping stomach, clutching onto it for dear life as we all continued to laugh.
“Or when Asher drank an entire bottle of rum she bought off a merchant at the market and fell down the huge flight of stairsat the palace?” Jasper asked, snorting so loudly it practically echoed off the sky above us.
