Page 9 of Of Vows and War: Special Edition
“Then you can remain chained for the rest of your life! If you want to fight,my flower, we will fight. But I will win, and I will show you fear like you have never known.” Her words were a threat, but I could not summon that terror she used to bring out of me.
There was no hesitation in my eerie smile, my magic a distant hum in my veins despite the blocker and the poison I knew had to be within my system once more. With a light chuckle, I looked up into her eyes and spoke the words I knew she so wished I would never utter—the one thing she begged I might never realize. “I do not fear. I am the thing to fear.”
Xavier’s answering gasp was made all the sweeter by Mia’s slight stumble as she backed away from me. Finally, after two centuries, I had discovered just how powerful I was. And I would not let them treat me like a weapon when I could now wield myself.
After a few moments of silence that seemed filled with charged energy, Mia finally cleared her throat and spoke through clenched teeth. “You think yourself invincible now that you have bore witness to life outside these walls of safety, but I promise you this: the world does not offer kindness to the ignorant. And neither do I.”
Chapter Six
Bellamy
Adbeel wasstaring.
I tried to feign ignorance as I chewed, opting for indifference when that failed. But in the end, I found myself looking up at him from across the table, our gazes colliding. As seemed the norm for this last week, I was looked at with both pity and fury.
“Say it,” I told him, casually grabbing my cup of wine and bringing it to my lap. No doubt he knew what I was doing, but I still pretended I was being sly as I slowly poured in the lavender liquid. Adbeel frowned, but did not speak like I hoped. With a deep sigh, I brought my hand up and pinched the bridge of my nose. What I would give to just sit in my chambers and burn.“Do not go quiet on me now. Not when you clearly have so much scolding to do.”
With that, I attempted to toss back the entire cup of wine, desperately needing to feel it further warm my already scalding body so I would not feel this aching torment of her absence. At least then I would be able to stomach whatever ridiculous venture Nicola Salvatore was sending us on. A blast of light hit the cup and knocked it from my hands, jarring me from my thoughts. I stared down at the red puddle with complete and utter devastation. Then a loud smack sounded from across the table, forcing my eyes to focus on Adbeel’s hand upon the table as he sneered my way.
“You will not do this, Bell! You will not lose yourself after so many decades of searching for who you are. I know what it is like to lose the love of your life, but you have an entire realm to think about right now. We are preparing forwar.” Each word seemed more strained than the last, as if he were choking on the truth of our world.
Yes, war would come, and if I did not follow through with Nicola’s plan then Asher might be on the opposite side of the chaos. That was not an option. Especially not as I heard the echoes of Ash’s mental voice.
You will win this war, even if that means facing off against me on the battlefield. Even if that means killing me.
Never.
“I know this, Adbeel. Asher’s magic reminds me of my duty every day. I wake up with my head swimming in a river of strategies and rage. Daily, I am swarmed with thoughts of death and battle. There is not a moment that goes by in which I am not completely overwhelmed by it all. Trust me when I say that losing this war isnotan option.” I practically growled the words, my anger rising. If only I could go back to not caring aboutthe wretched world, but apparently no one would allow me that kindness.
“Bellamy, I am concerned. You are…fading. I cannot bear to watch you disappear again—to say goodbye to another son as he falls victim to the darkness. Please, tell me what I can do for you. Let me help,” he pleaded, reaching both hands out towards me.
I froze, wondering how on Alemthian it had come to this. To Adbeel practically begging me to accept help. I thought back to when he forced me to join the military, when he had told me there was no other option and that I needed an outlet before I was lost forever. Now, here I was once more, seeking a map that had been burned away by Asher herself—the only path to her now nothing but dust.
Help. I could accept such a thing. There was nothing wrong with needing that, right? I had gotten help from my Trusted, from Adbeel, from so many. What was a little more in the face of the end of the world?
“Actually,” I conceded with a sigh, “I could use the assistance. You will not like it.”
“Anything, Bellamy. Anything.”
Nodding, I let loose another heavy breath and asked for the help I needed.
“Would you be able to remain in Pike for the day and watch over the training sessions? All soldiers are out there now sparring, but soon they will begin breaking out into groups. They could use a firm hand and I could use Damon during this meeting I must have.”
Adbeel went visibly rigid, annoyance momentarily flitting across his face and pinching his brow before he contained it. Rolling his neck, he ran a hand through his mahogany curls and straightened his black tunic.
“And where, pray tell, are you going?”
“I will not be long. Asher has made sure I am allowed to do very little other than win this war,” I remarked with an eyeroll. Not that the raging sea of agony within my chest was as simple and inconsequential as the action made it seem. Adbeel seemed to see that, and I watched with relief as he nodded silently before getting up.
“I am so sorry for what you have lost, Bellamy. Take the day, do what you must, and then come home.” With that, he walked away.
I thought about telling him then of the future Pino had shown me. So much time had been wasted this last year, time that Pino had warned me against taking. My selfishness, Asher’s fears, all of it had led us to this horrible fate. But how much worse would telling them separately make this? Instead of speaking, I let him leave, thinking all the while how terribly wrong I had been.
There was no such thing as a world for dreamers.
***
“Well you are pissing me off, Bellamy!” Noe shouted, shoving me backwards. I stumbled slightly but kept my ground, letting her come at me again. “You do not make choices for us. She isourstoo. I refuse to stay behind this time!”
