Page 42 of Of Vows and War: Special Edition
I was selfish. It was a simple fact. And perhaps it was because she did not know me, but choosing to stay at Pike instead of going to Asher was the least selfish thing I had possibly ever done. The hurt of what felt like choosing being a general over saving my soulmate ran deep enough that every second had to be a conscious choice to listen to Nicola’s orders.
Now, as I stared down the barely five-foot tall high demon, I wondered if it were possible to ever be anything but self-serving.If, in the end, no matter what I did, it would always come down to me. To what was best for me and those I loved.
I wanted to be different. Eternity knew how desperately I wished I could be more like Asher. Though, I also wished she would be more like me. Maybe that was why we were the perfect match. Balance. And maybe I could find balance now.
“Okay. I can compromise with you. Tell me how I can help without leaving this base. Give me tasks that do not require all of my attention. That I can do,” I conceded. She stepped back, as if surprised by how easily my mind could be changed. If only she knew how truly difficult it actually was.
“Well, for starters, you can help me access anything of Asta’s. If Stella has been living on this world like I think she has, then she’s been doing so in secret. She likely has been blending in with you all without you even realizing it. Which means she uses very little magic and often stays put. Give me Asta’s journals in particular and I will let you stay here.”
Interesting. The idea of Stella being on Alemthian for millennia without any of us knowing was both absurd and unexplainably exciting. More than that, this was a compromise I could easily make. Too easily. It was almost suspicious.
“Fine. I can send someone to the archives later today. Right now I have a meeting and then training.” Her only response was a scoff, which I took as a sign of agreement. “Look at us, compromising and being unselfish. A new world indeed.”
“You’re proving yourself to be egregiously stupid.”
“And you are proving yourself to be unceasingly exasperating.”
“Better than stupid.”
“Take it from someone who finds themself constantly surrounded by both, it is the irksome ones that make you go mad,” I quipped before stepping to the door. “Speaking of which, I have a few wonderful idiots to speak to.”
Closing the door, I had only made it a step before she yelled, “Dumbass!”
Fortunately for me, walking down the hall to my office offered much warmer greetings.
“Okay, asshole, what is it you wanted?” Noe asked from her spot in my desk chair. She was still angry at me for not letting her stay with the pirates. Though I did not blame her, I still found myself letting out an annoyed groan.
She was wearing training leathers and had her hair up in a twist, clearly prepared for the session starting soon. Damon was standing in the corner to her right, his silver hair glowing beneath the sun that streamed in from the window. He was also adorned in black training wear, though his exposed his arms. Ranbir had on his signature white outfit, prepared for another day in the infirmary. He had his hair in a plait today, the braid going down his back. His beard had been trimmed by Noe, but only barely. Cyprus seemed more alive than normal, a small smirk on his face and his leathers slightly muddy. Farai and Jasper had chosen to sit in the two chairs in front of my desk, their bodies also now adorning black leathers. Farai had his arm around Jasper as if shielding him.
“Well, I needed to update you on what Henry and Lian have learned. That, and I think it is important I tell you about something that has recently transpired.” They all stiffened, on edge for whatever it was I had to say.
Truly, I wished I did not have to. But if there was anything I learned from telling Adbeel about Asher, it was that the longer I kept a secret, the worse the reaction would be.
“Most of you know that Asher was abducted by what we thought was a god early this summer. Now, even then it was something that was hard to wrap our minds around. She had been targeted by something that many of us honestly thoughtwas a figment of the imagination. But, today I have been shown just how real those beings are,” I admitted.
They all went slack-jawed, gaping at me like I had said the most insane and implausible thing in the world. In truth, I had. We all had been completely baffled when Asher told us, though we tried to act nonchalant when she was around. It had been a difficult thing to believe, and even more so that it could happen at any time. This was possibly even more unbelievable.
“A female portaled into my room early this morning. She said her name is Anastasia and that she is the high demon of Sin and Virtue.”
“What is a high demon and what does it have to do with the gods?” Noe asked, nearly cutting off my final word.
“There are no such thing as gods. They are all high demons.” I shrugged, causing each of them to stare at me in silent disbelief. “Listen, we do not have time to waste, so I am going to give you a shortened version. What we thought were gods are actually called high demons. They live on a world called Shamay, the same place that Asta and Stella were from. Anastasia—Stassi—wants our help finding Stella—”
“Is Stella not on Shamay?” Cyprus shouted in horror. The others began to murmur, but I lifted a hand to silence them.
“I thought she was, but Stassi believes that Stella came here with Asta. Apparently, Stella was banished from their world after she stuck up for Asta’s betrayal. She is hoping that we can locate some of Asta’s old journals for her to read over with the goal of locating Stella.” I was eager to be done with the explanation, my words a rushed jumble. But they each understood. I could tell by the way they nodded with wide eyes and slightly parted lips.
“I can get my hands on those,” Noe offered. I nodded her way, a sort of thanks for her help. And then, with a deep breath, I readied for the arguing.
“One more thing. Asher is Adbeel’s granddaughter.” Their shouts were even louder than I expected they would be.
Chapter Twenty
Asher
The gardens were bright and full and perfect. As was everything in this horrid place.
Though I was eager to leave and not see the golden palace looming above or around me, I still found myself walking the path. Truly, it was because I missed Bellamy. I made it to the bench where I had sat with him that first night and nearly wept. Grazing my fingers across the gold-painted concrete bench, I thought of how his lips had felt against mine. How he had told me of his desire to be more than what the world had demanded he be.
