Page 21 of Of Vows and War: Special Edition
Incoherent grumbles left my mouth, and I found myself crawling towards my kitchen, wondering if ripping the emperor’s heart from his chest and eating it raw would leave him down long enough to go to Alemthian and steal my creature.
No, the fucker would find a way to come back before I could sober up enough.
His shining black shoes passed by my feet just as I made it to the tile of my kitchen floors. I watched with fury as he opened a cabinet and pulled out my good whisky. Then, the fienddrank from the bottle.
“You stupid oaf. I’ll kill you in your sleep and put your ugly head on my bedpost so I can pleasure myself to the thought of your eternal silence!” My slurred shouts did little to stir his attention, which seemed honed in on the opposite wall as he slowly slid down my counter and cabinets. Then he sat upon the floor and took another hefty drink in silence. Groaning, I rolled my eyes. I knew pouting when I saw it.
I finally made it over to him, and I found myself using his head to push my body up. He growled at me like a rabid animal, swatting at my hand, but I just pushed down harder. When I was upright, a bottle of vodka caught my eye, and I quickly swiped it off the counter before losing my balance and falling to the ground next to him.
Padon peered down at me with annoyance and what looked like concern, but I needed neither from him, especially when I knew whatever had him so worked up would take priority.
“Fine, tell me what’s making you so deliciously furious,” I slurred, moving to sit upright beside him. My shoulder pressed into his elbow, and I wished for nothing more than his discomfort at that second.
“Asher…she’s gone.” His voice was monotone, more hollow than the glass jar of whiskey he was practically inhaling. For a moment I simply watched as he took swig after swig, the motions becoming sharper and more forceful. Popping open my own preferred drink, I too sipped from the bottle.
“Hasn’t she been gone since I let her go this morning?” As if my words had broken through a barrier, Padon’s fury flooded my cottage. He threw the almost empty bottle into a wall, shattering the glass and dragging a shout of surprise from my chest.
“She’sgone!I can’t sense her at all anymore, as if she disappeared from the universe itself! As if she—“ He cut himself off, breathing so heavily it looked painful. As if she died. That was what he meant to say. “I had her here the last time you returned. I had her in my grasp and I let her go. Now she’s fuckinggone!”
Unsure what to say, I simply handed him my bottle. He took it without looking and drank deeply. Tears slowly began to crawl down his cheeks as he returned the vodka to me.
He was crying. Eternity above, he was losing his mind.
“Well, we can figure this out. I’m sure—“
“Asta loved you, you know,” Padon whispered, staring forward at what must have, to him, been the past playing for him like a painting brought to life.
Words evaded me, because what did one say to a truth that only brought pain? Of course Asta loved me. It was him she didn’t love.
“But her love wasn’t enough. Not for her or us or anyone. Betrayal was all she offered Shamay in the end. And now look at us.” He gestured to the mess of glass and whisky, as if it was a direct representation of what we had become. And perhaps it was.
“I miss her. I miss all four of them.” While he knew it, saying that truth felt like an admission of guilt. Like a confession. Still, I didn’t stop. “I think about the last night we spent together before Achari and Solana left a lot. You, Asta, Sol, and I all sat in our spots on the floor of Stella’s office as she worked. We drank more wine than we should have and ate that horribly spicy dip. Stella and Char eventually came and sat with us, remember? Char told us stories of other worlds and we all laughed until Sol had wine shooting out of her nostrils. Back then I would look at Stella and Char and you and Asta with hope—at Sol with love. Then again, that was back when our crystals were full and the right high demon was on the throne.”
Padon practically hissed at the accusatory tone I’d taken. We both knew I was right though. He didn’t belong upon that throne.
“Asher is far better than Asta. You’re just too bitter and vexed to see that. She can fix everything, but nothing will change if we can’t find her.” Now it was my turn to let out a furious snarl. “We don’t need Stella or Achari. We needher.”
Despite how utterly drunk I was, I shot up. Standing on shaky feet, I looked down at Padon, suddenly seeing him for the first time. The real him.
“You’re pathetic,” I hissed. He gasped at my insult, mouth opening as if to cut me off, but I was not done. “All this talk about how Stella didn’t deserve the throne and Asta’s betrayal and Shamay’s future, but it’syouthat is leading us to destruction. How often have you blamed Achari’s borderline obsessive curiosity? Now look at you! Haunted by the artificial love for a mortal princess who could not care less about you! All for what? The magic that plagues her veins? Eternity did not bless her, Padon. It cursed her to a lifetime of being hunted rather than loved. You seek to do nothing but covet her like a prize when allthat will do is kill her like it nearly killed Asta! At every turn, it is you who threatens everything! You who ruins it all!”
Padon did not speak, instead he shot up and pushed me, his strength shoving the air from my lungs and forcing me back down to the ground. I hit my tiled floor with a crash, hissing at the pain of my elbow and shoulder shattering beneath the pressure. Padon was not done though. He screamed with fury and bent down over me, lifting me as he wrapped his hands around my throat and squeezed with the rage of someone who has suffered through tens of thousands of years.
Unfortunately for him, so had I.
My hand flung towards the counter, gripping a knife and swinging without mercy. It sliced into his throat, the silver blade protruding from his skin where I had forced it to turn. A gurgled cry echoed off my ceiling as he released me.
“Again and again you have wrecked my fucking life, Padon!” I screamed, my hands sweating and my vision swimming. I watched as his hand moved to grab the knife, but I quickly kicked my foot into the blade, sending the hilt into his neck and his body toppling down. “You seek nothing but the ends to your own means! You want to take over that world? You want to waste our time instead of finding Stella? Fine! You can do that shit on your own.”
Abruptly I stopped my rant, needing to take deep breaths. Padon used the opportunity to grip the sharp end of the knife and pull it from his throat. Backing away, I willed my mind to clear. The alcohol wouldn’t last long, my system would break it down soon enough if I could just stall for a few minutes. Then I could run.
Grunting, Padon stood, his body alight from the deep purple of his magic. He was healing himself. Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit!
“Oh, now you’re all high and mighty because you left Shamay? For once you’ve been something more than useless and suddenly you feel like you can judge me? Condemn me? Blame me? No, Anastasia.” I backed away further, my heart racing and my magic a storm in my veins. Still, it was nothing compared to what Padon had.
Think, Stassi. Think!
