Gabe sighed dramatically, which earned a grumpy look from Az.
“Do NOT go turning the sex magic on for mysister, for the love of god. Or for the love of Lucifer. Whatever. Because ewww. I know you can’t totally turn it off, but I am so kicking you out if she starts trying to hump you in the kitchen,” Gabe groused, grabbing two bowls and some silverware and setting them, perhaps a little roughly, onto the counter. He was so done with this entire day.
Seraphina just laughed. “Oh Ialwayswant a whole lot of things. But don’t worry—I have self-control. And I love my big brother. He is my favorite,” she said to Az, turning to kiss Gabe’s cheek. He rolled his eyes, but he appreciated her sentiment.
“And,” she added, “because youaremy favorite, I’m going to do you the biggest favor ever.”
“You are NOT watching him, Ser,” Gabe repeated.
“Nope. I’m gonna do you an even bigger favor than that,” she said, pausing for dramatic effect. “I’m going to head off Michael.”
Gabe groaned.
“Yup, exactly. You know he’s going to be down here investigating the demon and lecturing you and being a total and complete killjoy. You won’t get rid of him forhours. So I’ll go pick a fight and keep him busy until it’s too late to bother you. You can thank me later. Preferably with coffee with all the chocolate and caramel and peppermint in it.” With that she gave a little wave to him, winked at Az, and sauntered out the door.
She was a pain in the neck, but he did owe her. He loved Michael to death, but he was too tired and too overwhelmed to deal with him right now. There would be notebooks and research and probably spreadsheets, and he just couldn’t.
When he heard the front door shut, he grabbed serving spoons, stuck them in the pots, and handed Az his bowl.
When Az oomphed, he realized perhaps he had been a little rough in handing the bowl over. He was annoyed though. “Help yourself,” he grumbled. “I’m not getting out serving bowls and the whole nine yards for company I didn’t expect.”
“And yet you cooked for me,” Az responded, and that soft smile was back on his face. Gabe gestured Az to the stove, trying to ignore it.
“Well, yeah, you’re a guest. Sort of. Anyway, Grams taught us manners. You always feed what you summon. It’s only polite.”
Az laughed at that, adding, “And apparently give what you summon a warm aquarium and take care of it for twenty years.”
Gabe blushed, muttering, “I thought he was just an exotic frog.” He still couldn’t believe he’d had a pet demon for more than half his life. He sighed, scooping himself some pasta and sauce and then motioning Az over to scoop some into his bowl as well. Az raised an eyebrow, but Gabe just ignored him to sit at the table. Once Az was seated across from him he took a bite and motioned for Az to do the same.
Az groaned, closing his eyes as he chewed his first bite. “Oh, that’s just… that’s amazing. No wonder Beel doesn’t want to go home.”
Gabe blushed again. He felt ridiculous. It was like he was in permanent blush mode around this demon. “Thanks,” he muttered. He added, “I mostly feed Beel frog food, though he has been known to munch on snacks with me during movie night. I fed him people food when I was a kid, and by the time I realized that wasn’t good for him, I figured it probably didn’t matter since he was a Grams creation.” He ended on a shrug.
Az just laughed again, and Gabe realized it was kinda nice to hear Az’s laughter and to have someone to chat with during dinner.
Huh. Maybe he had been a bit lonely. Az was digging into his pasta and smiling occasionally at him, and the demon really did have a nice smile. He had seemed so cocky at first, but now that he wasn’t busy trying to sex Gabe up, he seemed really nice for a demon. And Gabe had known quite a few demons over the years.
“So,” Az began, “let’s talk about sex.”
Gabe groaned again. He couldn’t help it. It was just so embarrassing that he didn’t even know what he was interested in. “Do we have to?” he whined.
Az smirked, pointing to himself. “Lust demon. Yes, we have to. Why don’t you start with the times you slept with people and enjoyed it.”
Gabe shoved a bite of food into his mouth to give himself time to think. He guessed he had to just rip the bandaid off and do it. They were stuck with each other until they figured this out.
“So, I generally just don’t think about sex. I get awkward during kissing. Porn doesn’t usually turn me on. Reading stories does sometimes, but not always. I masturbate.” Gabe paused there, blushing again, but Az just smiled encouragingly at him.
“Um, so I don’t particularly fantasize about myself while I masturbate. I usually fantasize about whatever I’m reading about. It can be guys with guys or guys with girls. So, um, yeah,” he finished lamely.
“What about when you had sex? You said you had two enjoyable experiences?” Az prodded.
“Two people. The first was my college roommate, Greg. We were best friends, and one day he kissed me. We had an affair for a few weeks. Tons of sex. It was all secret, and it got to be too much for him. When it was over we went back to being friends. He thought I was weird because I wasn’t jealous when he started dating a girl a few months after our affair ended. But we’re still friends and talk every few weeks and get together to hang out once in a while.
“We don’t ever talk about how we slept together, but that’s more because I follow his lead. It’s clear he wants to pretend like it never happened. I think he assumes I’m ‘straight’ like he is, and that it was just a college thing.” Gabe shrugged. He didn’t think Greg was really happy with his life, but Greg had made it clear early on that any conversation on that was off-limits, so Gabe respected that.
“Do you see him and get horny?” Az asked.
Gabe sat back, his pasta bowl and Az’s both empty by now, and thought about it for a minute. “No?” he responded unsurely.
