“Oh, that is definitely the voice your momma uses when you have made a big ass fucking mistake and are about to find out exactly how you fucked up,” Adam laughed. Yah simply smiled at his Adam again. None of the angels dared look on the face of god, so Minos supposed it didn’t break the “bad ass” look Adam was so impressed with.
“Almighty Majesty on High, the soul was placed in heaven. We were reallocating them to their original designation, as per their arrival ticket.”
“I see,” replied Yah. “Did anyone double check the soul’s placement ticket?”
The angels startled at that, and there was some bustling and whispering and a briefcase opened up and tablets came out, and Minos could appreciate the comedic aspect of this all happening while the angels were kneeling.
Then there was some frantic whispering and conferring while Yah strolled over to Adam and Minos.
“I see you two look no worse for your ordeal,” Yah stated. “Although the same cannot be said for this portion of heaven,” they pointed out, quirking an eyebrow.
Minos merely scowled a bit, but as he watched the walls quickly set themselves to right and the room took on its heavenly, white glow once more.
“Ah, Honored and Beatific Creator?” came a trembling voice from the group of angels. It seemed that they were making the newbie give the bad news and setting them up as the sacrificial lamb. The angel with the planner Adam wanted (and which Minos would create for him, of course) had shuffled forward on their knees at the behest of the other angels, and they looked ready to be struck down by lightning at any moment.
“Ohhh, that’s my favorite Leadership Team angel!” Adam gushed. He glared at the whole group of them. “So like you to make the little sibling take the fall for your fuck-up. Moms, or Dads, always know who’sreallyresponsible, though. I bet little sibling gets ice cream and you all get extra chores for a week. Or a millenia. Or whatever.”
“It, ah, appears that the placement did indeed change?” the angel bravely continued on. “We aren’t, ah, sure how this is possible? Because it appears that the soul is still placed in heaven? But the soul is also allocated to Limbo? And the soul is also placed in hell? Which does not appear to be possible, Almighty,” the angel finished off lamely.
“Mmmhmmm,” Yah merely murmured.
“So you allkidnappedme, and you didn’t even double check what you were doing? What the fuck, guys? I’m sorry, Yah, but your team definitely needs some ‘discipline’ for their ‘dereliction of duties’ in this ‘small matter.’” Adam said, air quotes flying as he spoke.
“Yes, I can see that they do. Since you are clearly the wronged party here, and you have become quite adept at handling corrective action, I think your suggestions have merit,” Yah stated, walking back over to the angels.
Minos wasn’t aware of what corrective actions Adam had in mind, but of course Yah was.
“You shall be taking over as head of the Leadership Team,” Yah declared, speaking to the newest angel. Everyone startled at that, including the angel in question, who dropped their planner and their pen andalmostlooked up at Yah but averted their eyes at the last minute.
“The rest of you shall be undergoing some sensitivity training. Adam has some thoughts in mind. I’m sure he’ll be able to compose a memo with all the details with the help of the Judge of the Damned. There shall also be something called “complaint boxes” at all levels.
“The Leadership Team has gone unchecked for too long. You may be a necessary evil, but you are not the ones who are in charge here. I think you have forgotten that there are things out of the realm of your authority. You have forgotten that we are here to serve, not to claim power. You shall be reminded of your place.”
Yah looked over at Adam and Minos, and a door opened behind them. “I expect you’ll want to find yourselves back home. I trust the trip back shall be less eventful than the trip here.”
“But, Almighty…” the previous mouth-piece angel said. They just couldn’t let it go, obviously. “Almighty, how…? It isn’t possible…?” the angel stuttered.
“Of course it is. Adam is Minos’ mortal soul. Thus, they cannot be separated, Minos cannot be terminated, and they may go wherever they would like. It is really quite simple. If you had just done your jobs correctly, you would have realized that.”
With that cryptic statement, the angels all turned to gape at Adam and Minos, and Yah disappeared from the room.
Chapter23
Adam
Minos can’t have a mortal soul, blah blah blah.We would never have tried to destroy a soul, blah blah blah.This wasn’t our fault, blah blah blah.No precedent for such a thing, blah blah blah.
Adam mostly tuned out all the hubbub that erupted after Yah left. He snuggled into his demon. Huh, Minos reallywashis demon. And he was really Minos’ human. Because he was, like, apparently his soul or some such thing. Or they shared a soul? Or they had each other’s souls? Adam wasn’t really clear on the details.
And really, what did the details matter? They couldn't be separated. Ever. They could go wherever they wanted. Sounded like heaven to him.
Speaking of… “Can we please get the hell out of his place? I’m not alive anymore, but I think all this blinding white is still gonna give me a migraine,” Adam complained.
Minos chuckled, utterly ignored all the apologies and questions being yelled at them, and walked through the doorway and started going down the stairs. The door firmly shut behind them, blocking out the Leadership Team and their drama (thank demons and god and Yah and Luce and whoever else).
“Oh, we are gonna have fun giving them some sensitivity training, Minos. Maybe we can make them cold call souls to see their satisfaction with their experience. Like telemarketing and customer service all rolled into one,” Adam chuckled darkly.
“But also, they really need to loosen up. Like, we need to make them dress differently from each other and make them do some bonding time in Limbo or something. Make them take the different departments out for team morale. And of course, I’m still pretty pissed, so some torturous corporate retreat is totally in order.”
