Page 49 of Just for Me
And then, of course, there was Paris. His feet hurt, that was how much he’d walked. It had rained today, and he hadn’t even cared, had just gone to the Picasso Museum, which was close to Luke’s place, because that was the kind of ancient-but-flash neighborhood Luke lived in—Le Marais, it was called, and it was fabulous—looked at pictures of people with their eyes in odd places, then decided that was enough culture and refreshed himself by exploring the five floors of the men’s store at BHV Marais, the incredible department store housed in another of those old domed mansions. Being a good little bougie gay boy in Paris.
Fendi, Moncler, Givenchy, Gucci, and Valentino, all under one roof. Imagine that. He’d bought Luke a Fendi wool scarf with an elegant geometric pattern in beige and chocolate brown. It had cost so much, he’d had to shut his eyes to pay for it, but it was masculine, warm, and gorgeous, and Luke deserved to have somebody do something special for him. Hayden was willing to bet it hadn’t happened often.
He could have gone to Notre Dame after that. It was just across the river. He couldseeit. He’d gone up to the fifth floor for a coffee and croissant instead. That had been a pain au chocolat, and it had been buttery, flaky, decadent, and incredible. He’d eaten it slowly, looking out over those historic slate rooftops and white-stone buildings some more, and thought,Early dinner tonight, by myself, because Luke will be getting ready to play. Fish and veg and that isall.And no chocolate croissants tomorrow!A very cute fella had brought his own coffee over and slid into a chair opposite him at the long table, too, which had been flattering and definitely wouldn’t have happened at Notre Dame, so there you were.
They hadn’t been able to communicate that well, but Hayden didn’t really want to communicate. He felt off the market in a way he never had. It was very odd.
It hadn’t even been threeweeks.
Oh. Game. He checked. Still nothing happening.
So what had happened on Christmas? Not the fireworks he might have been expecting. Fireworks of an entirely different kind.
He’d been startled, despite Casey’s promises about decorations and dressing up, when he’d seen Zora. She was normally more the shorts and T-shirt type, to their mother’s dismay, which meant that just about the second Hayden walked through the door, he was taking her by the upper arms and standing back for a good look. “I think I know who’s been a good girl,” he said, “because Santasoclearly loves her.”
Zora was laughing as Casey said, “That wasn’t Santa. It was my dad. He gave her the earrings for Christmas, and he gave her the pearl necklace before. The earrings are real pearls and real diamonds. They’rereallyfancy. Even though Auntie Zora usually isn’t fancy, she likes being fancy sometimes.”
“And she already had the dress, of course,” Hayden said. “A wee bit sleeveless, a wee bit ruby-colored, and a wee bit form-fitting. Very nice.”
“Because red is for Christmas,” Casey said happily.
The doorbell rang, and Hayden couldn’t help stiffening. He’d had to think long and hard about coming today. Why should he sign up for this, and more to the point—why should Luke? Neither of them needed any more of it.
Rhys said, calm as ever, “Ah. That’ll be your parents, Zora. Come on, kids. Time for everybody to practice their ‘Merry Christmas.’”
The three of them headed for the stairs, and Zora blew out a breath. Hayden said, trying for casual and funny, since hehadcome and couldn’t exactly rush for the exit now, bowling over his parents along the way, “I can’t decide on my bet.”
“What bet?” Zora asked.
“Whether she says something first about the unsuitability of diamonds for daytime, or Dad goes straight for Luke. Tell me we’re not having hamburgers, at least. I don’t think I can take this day on hamburgers.”
“We are having,” she said, “fresh-caught kahawai with baby spinach, Thai curry sauce, and lime, on a bed of forbidden rice. Thanks to Rhys.”
Hayden opened his eyes wide.“Veryelegant. Oh, wait. I’m not just hearing ‘Mum’s horribly healthy salads arriving’ down there. I’m hearing excitement. Christmas is for children,” he told Luke. “I’m reminding myself of that.”
“You know,” Zora said, “if they say anything, that won’t be all right. Not with me, and not with Rhys. It’s not happening again in our house.”
“You could hold my hand,” Luke said.
“Yeh, right,” Hayden said.
“No,” Luke said. “I mean you could hold my hand.”
“Oh.” Hayden thought that one over a minute. “Maybe I could. Statement, eh.”
“Stand your ground,” Luke said.
Movement on the stairs, and their parents were there. Their mum looked … different. Dressed as beautifully as always, and her hair as perfect as always, so that wasn’t it. Like she’d been crying, or had been emotional, either of which was hard to imagine. She came into the room fast and said, “Hayden. Darling. Merry Christmas,” kissed his cheek, then turned to Luke, kept the smile on her face, and asked, “May I kiss you as well?”
His face worked, and he didn’t say anything for a minute. Finally, though, he said, “Yes.” And smiled. And when Tania kissed his cheek, patted the other one, and said, “Merry Christmas,” Hayden thought,Well done, Mum.And hoped.
His foolish heart.
His dad was there too, then, giving Zora a kiss and Rhys a shake of the hand, then offering Hayden a brief cuddle and pat on the back and putting his hand out to Luke. Luke hesitated for a bare second, then shook it. Craig cleared his throat and said, “Merry Christmas. I think I may not have been … entirely hospitable the other night.”
“You think?” Hayden asked. He wasn’t making a joke about this. He was done making jokes.
“Also,” Craig went on, the words clearly pulled out of him, “I may have sounded … disappointed. I’ve done some, ah, thinking. And I’m proud of you, of course, Hayden.”
