Page 19 of Just for Me
“Harry,”his sister Sophie said. “How do you evenknowall that?”
“Because he knows things,” Isaiah said. “Especially about animals. Knowing things is good. It makes you more logical.”
“The main thing,” Harry said, “is that it’s true. It’s data. It’sevidence,and besides—what happens in science is what’s supposed to happen, not what you thought would happen. That’s the whole idea of science. You can’t pretend not to notice things just because they aren’t what you wanted to find.”
Zora said quietly to Luke, “A bit more than you were expecting tonight?” With a smile that said she got it.
“Yeh,” he said, starting to smile himself. “But good.”
Hayden put his arm around Luke’s waist like a declaration and said, “Yes. Good. Sorry, Dad, but I came out a long time ago, and it’s time for me to finallybeout. I’m tired of hiding, especially from you, and I can’t do it anymore. Zora loving Rhys isn’t shameful. Look at her. Look atthem,and the kids and all.How can you think there’s anything wrong with them being together, just because she was married to Dylan first? Dylan is dead. Sorry, Isaiah,” he added.
“That’s OK,” the boy said. “I know he’s dead.”
“And there’s nothing shameful about my life, either,” Hayden went on. “I may not have won a Nobel prize or whatever you imagined for your son, and I may have girl qualities—thanks for the misogyny, but I’d call them lawyer qualities—but I haven’t done so badly, have I? Here I am, supporting myself, got my flat and my car and my job and all, and I haven’t developed a drugs problem or been ignominiously sacked for my embezzlement issue yet. I haven’t loved the person you’d have wanted me to, and neither has Zora. Does that make us defective?”
“You don’t want me to answer that,” Craig said.
“Well, yes,” Hayden said. “I find I do want that. I think it’s time.”
8
CAVUTO NERO, SIXTEEN DOLLARS
By the timehe walked out with Luke fifteen minutes later, Hayden’s legs were practically shaking.
Not that much else had happened. His dad had said again, “Not the time or place,” Victoria had jumped in with a question for his mum about clothes for the wedding, and nobody else had said anything about it.
Other than Rhys and Zora, who’d got up to see Luke and Hayden out. Zora had given Hayden a cuddle and said, “I know what kind of brother I have, and it’s exactly the kind I want. I’m lucky to have him, too.”
Hayden had choked up a bit at that, but Rhys was shaking his hand, then Luke’s, and saying, “Well, for once it wasn’t me putting their backs up. Cheers for that,” and giving his pirate’s grin again. “Also, I hope you’re going out someplace brilliant. I’d say glass of wine, but …”
“Yeh.” Luke was looking so stolid, it was as if he were carved from wood. “Sober’s still better.”
“Speak for yourself,” Hayden said, and tried to laugh.
* * *
“You can goon and have a glass of wine,” Luke said when Hayden had parked in the Wynward Quarter garage again and Luke had parked beside him. “Or two. Won’t bother me. Like I said—not an alcoholic, just making a choice. At least I hope so. Giving up hasn’t been too hard, though, so I don’t think I can be.”
“Is anything too hard for you, though?” Hayden asked, trying to shake off the jitters. “Doesn’t seem like it to me.”
“Heaps of things feel too hard,” Luke said, starting to walk with that absolutely upright posture Hayden had almost never seen on anybody else. Like he didn’t have to slouch along, to be cool. Like he was sufficient unto himself. “They don’t turn out to be too hard, though, long as I keep moving.”
“Admirably mentally healthy,” Hayden said, keeping pace with him. Out onto the pavement now, where Luke turned right, not left. Which was good, because Julian’s flat was about fifty meters to the left, and Hayden didn’t need another angsty confrontation tonight. “Admirably optimistic.”
“Which you are as well,” Luke said.
“Well, I pretend to be,” Hayden said. “Fake it till you make it. Where are we going, exactly, if I can make so bold as to ask?”
“Oh.” Luke stopped dead. “Should I have consulted? Sorry. I went ahead and booked. Esther, in the QT Hotel. Sound OK?”
“More than OK,” Hayden said, “but …”
“If it’s about the money,” Luke said, starting to walk again, “I asked you. Means I’m paying. First time I’ve ever done that, actually, because it makes it look like a date.”
“But then,” Hayden said, “itisa date. Out in the open and all.” He wouldn’t have called himself “steady,” still. In fact, he was fizzing. “But you don’t have to pay for me. Crass to mention it, I know, but Iama lawyer. I don’t make international rugby money, but I do all right. Which doesn’t mean anybody’s taken me to Esther’s. Well, a client for lunch once, but we won’t count that. We’ll pretend it’s my first time.”
Luke shot a look at him, but all he said was, “Good,” then, after a moment, “So if it’s not the money, what was that about?”
