Page 37 of Kiwi Sin
I said,“I can’t … compare. Sorry.”
I should have been horribly embarrassed, and I was, but I also wanted to giggle like mad. In fact, a giggle did make its way out, Aisha’s face cracked, too, and we were laughing like I hadn’t done with anybody but my sisters. Hanging onto the table, nearly crying with it. Aisha gasped, “I think I just peed,” and I laughed harder. The other girls at the table were definitely looking at us oddly now, but I didn’t care.
When we were done wheezing and were wiping our eyes with napkins, Aisha said, “This is why it’s good that we’re not allowed to wear makeup. OK. You said he took you outside to give you a present, which is why I thought hewasn’tgay. Just taking you outside … how old is he, though?”
“I don’t know. Twenty-four? Twenty-five? I’m not sure. He’s the eldest, though.”
“Oh. Forbidden love, then. A bit creepy for him to take you outside at all. No,reallycreepy. Pity, as he’s really just incredibly hot. You’re not meant to say that about predators, though. So tricky.”
“He’s not apredator.How? That’s normal, his age. Radiance—the one in the cap—she’s seventeen and has the baby, and Glory isbarelyseventeen. And their husbands are almost as old as Gabriel. It’s normal.”
“Maybe in the Bible,” Aisha said. “Or in Yemen. So what was the present?”
I stopped wanting to giggle. The color flared up in my face, too. I could feel it. Aisha said, “What? You watched a sexy film,andhe gave you a sexy gift,andhe’s about old enough to be yourdad?Predator much?”
“He’s not old enough to be my dad,” I said, feeling cross again. “And it wasn’t a sexy gift. It was thebestgift.”
“Was it scent? Or—wait. Jewelry? Was it a promise ring, with a vow to wait for you until he’s thirty and you’re finally old enough to be married?”
“You’re just being silly. And it was better than that. It was the best present possible.”
It had been this morning—very early this morning, that is. By the time Gabriel had driven me home, after a midnight arrival by a rumpled-looking Drew, I’d been both sleepy and agitated, as if my fur had been rubbed the wrong way. Now that it was over—the couch, the film, all of it—I didn’t know what to make of it. I didn’t know how tobe.
Gabriel punched in the code for Gray’s gate, rolled down the drive in the ute, then just sat there. It was quite warm in the ute—he’d put in a good heater, he’d explained—but I shivered anyway. Neither of us had a jacket. We’d run off just that fast.
He must have noticed, because he said, “You’re cold. I should let you go in.”
“No.” I wanted to go in, and I wanted to stay here. Desperately, on both counts. I didn’t see how that could be true, and I also, unfortunately, couldn’t think of anything to say. “I had a good time,” I finally said. A girl had said that in a book I’d read, when she’d gone on a date. This wasn’t a date, but it was the closest I could come.
He smiled ruefully and rubbed a hand over his jaw. I saw it, though I wasn’t exactly looking. “You almost seemed like you did,” he said. “Which is odd, maybe.”
“No. It’s the things I like. Cooking, and kids, and … and being normal. At home. Normal at home. Even though ‘home’ isn’t the same now.”
“Yeh.” He sighed. “I want to give you something. I’m a bit nervous about it. That’s why I haven’t done it yet, but I’ll feel pretty foolish if I drive home with it still in the back of the ute.”
I’d forgotten. I couldn’tbelieveI’d forgotten. “Nobody’s ever given me a gift before,” I said, “other than Daisy buying us clothes and things when we left Mount Zion. I’ll be happy, whatever it is. I won’t know any better,” I tried to joke.
He smiled, and his smile was so sweet, something happened in my insides. A sort of fluttering. I’d almost never seen Gabriel smile, because he was serious and quiet, like me. “You always say the things I think,” he said. “About liking being normal at home and so forth. I’ve never given anyone a gift, either. Reckon I’d better get over myself and do it, or you’ll be falling asleep on me again.”
There. That had been a joke. I laughed, and he said, “Right, I’m doing it,” and got out of the ute.
I sat there, tried to tell myself,It’s nothing. Or it’s a kind thing, that’s all.But it didn’t work.
He opened my door, and I jumped. “I realized,” he said, “that I’d better carry it in for you. You can’t really hold it in your lap and open it. Too heavy.”
It felt like something out of a movie, walking up the ramp to the yurt in the dark behind him. Like the movie we’d watched. I opened the door as quietly as I could, wished and feared that he’d kiss me like in that movie, hoped desperately that Frankie wouldn’t wake up, and kicked off my shoes. Gabriel seemed to understand, because he set the big box down on the floor—it did look heavy—and took off his own boots, then padded over to the table with me and set it on top.
It was wrapped in bright paper, like in a movie. The paper saidHappy Birthdayall over in different multicolored letters, and it was pink. I said, “You did paper.” Keeping my voice down to a near-whisper.
“Yeh,” he said back, just as low. “Paper’s important, Jack said.”
“Jack?” I asked, my hands on the box, not wanting to tear the paper off just yet, wanting to savor this moment. “You mean,kidJack?”
He grinned, and this time, it looked sheepish. “My guide to Outside, because he doesn’t laugh at me when I ask.”
“Oh. I wondered how you knew so many things.” I wanted to laugh myself, but that would wake Frankie, so I just smiled. “OK,” I told him. “I’m opening it. Here I go.”
* * *
