Page 85 of Kiwi Sin
“I brined the chicken in beer, actually,” I said, handing him the platter. “Along with other things. The alcohol cooks away, but you may smell it, so …”
“No worries,” he said. “You’re not too sinful for me.” And looked like he knew exactly how sinful I wanted to be.
I said, “Let me cut the watermelon, and I’ll bring it to you. The grill should be hot enough, but you may want to check it.” Myfacewas hot, that was sure.
“Yeh,” he said. “I’ll do that.”
He went outside, and I rested my palms on the benchtop and tried to breathe. Which was when Priya said, “Want me to slice the watermelon?”
“No,” I said. “I’ll do it right now. Could you lay the table, please?” I’d arranged anise hyssop and bee balm in a vase, all purple and blue and pink, and the flowers’ fresh, sweet scent wafted to me on the breeze from the open windows. I wished we had a tablecloth and cloth napkins, though. That would be so much more festive. When I had my own flat, or … ifwedid, I’d make those, using the right fabric, so it would drape and have some interest. Seersucker, maybe, for summer.
Pleasant,Gabriel had said.Homey.A bright yellow table with a vase of flowers in the middle, all of it sunny and cheerful. I could do that.
Priya said, “You’re extremely obvious, if you want to know. Patience is pretty sure Gabriel’s going to marry her, by the way, so …”
I thought,He isn’t, though. “Oh?” I asked, and kept slicing watermelon. “How do you know?”
“Because Aunt Constance keeps talking about what he likes, like she’s training her to be her daughter-in-law. Patience and I went shopping today while you were at the farmer’s market and she was on her lunch break, because she’s working Saturdays at the knitting shop now. She asked me to keep the things she bought in our closet, though, because one of the dresses is really short, and Aunt Constance wants her to keep wearing long ones with barely any pattern. Patience doesn’t even want to wearmediumones. I told her to remind Aunt Constance that she’ll be in school in a week, and her skirts aren’t going to be long then. Though the uniform is still pretty awful.”
“What did she say to that?” I asked. “Also, do you think you should be hiding her clothes?” I needed to go outside and talk to Gabriel, but I needed to hear this first.
“Of course I should,” Priya said. “They’re trying to keep her in prison, like she never left Mount Zion! Besides, she said that what Uncle Aaron and Aunt Constance don’t know won’t hurt them, and once she’s married to Gabriel, they aren’t going to be able to tell her anything.”
“Doesn’t she want to go to school?” I asked. Patience was like Frankie, except without the anger. I couldn’t imagine hernotwanting to go to school.Shewasn’t going to have any trouble participating.
“She thinks she can be marriedandgo to school,” Priya said. “I tried telling her thatnobody’smarried when they’re in school, but she just said, ‘Then I’ll be the first. What else am I going to do? I can’t stay locked up here, gettingwatchedall the time and criticized for everything I do. Uriel and Glory don’t want me, not now that they have their baby. Their flat’s tiny, and they’re having relations constantly. In thedaytime.As soon as the baby’s asleep, Glory told me, they’re doing it again. In everyroom.How could I live there with them having relations all over the place?’ Which is a fair point. She said they had wine in their fridge, too, last time she was there, and Glory asked her not to tell Uncle Aaron. As if she would. They let her taste it, and she said it was lovely. It was white wine, and she said it tasted like fruit, or maybe like flowers. Last time she babysat, they went to a club and went dancing, and Glory wore a short dress. It wasred.Uriel had a cocktail, which is evenstrongeralcohol, but Glory couldn’t, because she’s not eighteen yet. Also, she’s changing her name to Georgia, and Uriel’s changing his to Usher.’”
“Oh,” I said. “That’s … a lot to change.”
Priya went on as if I hadn’t said anything, as if all of this was bursting to get out, which I reckoned it was. It was heady stuff for a girl from Mount Zion. “Patience says that Glory says that her name sounds like an old lady, and Uriel’s sounds like urine, and she’s not going to be married to a man whose name sounds like urine. Uriel’s anarchangel,and that’s still what she said. Patience said that Uriel just laughed and said that Glory’s pretty naughty, especially for a mum, so she’d better be called something less holy. Patience wants to change her name to Peyton. That doesn’t even sound like agirl.She wants to be a lawyer, so she can wear suits and be all cool and argue with men.”
“That doesn’t sound like wanting to marry Gabriel,” I said. “That sounds like a different life altogether.”
“Same thing,” Priya said. “Marrying Gabriel, and then having a different life altogether. She says, can you imagine how hot he’ll be when he’s actually dressed well? And not being a builder? Uriel’s going to try for a job in sales. You can make heaps of money that way, Patience says, because that’s what Valor’s doing now. He’s selling farm equipment, and he says it’s easy and he’s already making more money than he was working for Gray.” She hesitated. “I didn’t say anything to her about Valor and you. I didn’t know if it was shameful. I guess Gray didn’t, either, because nobody else seems to know about it.”
My knife stilled, and then I forced myself to keep going with my slicing and said, “It shouldn’t be shameful, but it still feels like it. And I think it’s still shameful to men from Mount Zion, so … don’t tell anyone, for now. Thanks for asking me first.”
“It’s so hard to know,” Priya said. “It almost seems like shame is the opposite Outside. Gray and Gabriel seemed like they thought only Valor should be ashamed, but …”
“Yeh,” I said. “Others won’t feel the same about me. I know that.” I should probably discuss that with her, if I’d even known how, but it was the last thing I wanted to think about tonight, and then there was the whole question of what my aunt and uncle would think of me if they knew. I had a feeling they’d share the shame around more readily than Gray had. Or Gabriel. I asked instead, “So is Uriel going to sell farm equipment, too?”
“I think so. He says it’s not the most exciting, but it’s the thing he knows, and maybe he can move on from it and sell luxury cars or something like that. At least that’s what Patience told me, and that maybe if he does it, he can get Gabriel to do it as well. Or be a model, she says, since he’s so handsome. I never realized how handsome he was until I compared him to other people, but Patience says she always realized.”
I didn’t ask, “Does Gabriel want to be a model?” I was pretty sure I knew the answer, so I finished slicing the watermelon instead and took it out to him. Unfortunately, just when I was about to bring up talking to Gray and Daisy, Gray came out and started talking to him about the house instead, so I went back in and finished making my coleslaw.
At least Uncle Aaron and Aunt Constance would be happy about my marrying Gabriel, even if nobody else was. After all, I wasn’t going to be a lawyer and wear suits and argue with men, or tell Gabriel he should be a model. I tried to picture Gabriel drinking cocktails at a club, dressed in tight trousers and pointed shoes and dancing with a lawyer, and almost laughed.
That would be half of our family happy, at least. Now I just needed to work out how to bring the subject up with Gray.
Not to mention Daisy.
* * *
Gabriel
Oriana’s dinner was amazing, as usual. I’d got the chicken just right, too, charred a bit on the outside and still juicy inside. We made a pretty good team. I wondered how much more it would cost to get a flat with a balcony, or maybe a patio, so you had a barbecue right there and could eat outside on summer nights, maybe with candles, and got a bit distracted at the idea. That could be because Oriana was wearing the sundress with the strawberries and the straps again, and she was so pretty. And because every time she looked at me, she colored up again, and I could see her breasts rising and falling under that dress.
It's better to marry than to burn.I hoped it was true, because if I didn’t marry her soon, I was going to burn so hard, there’d be nothing left of me but ash.
