Page 36 of Kiwi Sin
“Ick. But they’re probably all marrying their cousins out there, I guess. It’s a wonder you don’t all have cleft palates or two heads.”
On the one hand, I wanted the clock to move forward and Biology to start. On the other hand, I desperately wanted to keep talking about this. It was like excitement, but not comfortable excitement. I was getting familiar with the feeling, as I’d had it for most of two days now. “No,” I said. “You can’t marry your cousin, not your first cousin. That’s why the Prophet’s so careful with matching people. Uncle Aaron wasn’t Gabriel’s father, though. So he’s a … step-cousin, I guess. Not a relation, or not in the … the past couple of generations.”
“Ohh.”It was anextremelyknowing syllable, and I knew I was blushing. “So itwas …”
“No,” I said. “He just … he took me outside because it was a bit awful, with the cake and all, and he had a gift for me. Which was kindness, that’s all. And then he got that call, and—”
“Wait,” she said. “I was just deciding he was gay, if he’s not married yet, and he’s so beautiful. I guess you’d have to be in the closet in Mount Zion.Isthere a closet big enough in Mount Zion? Or you’d have to pretend, but how do you pretend, if you’re meant to have all those kids?”
“He’s notgay,”I said.
“How do you know?” she asked.
“I …” I tried to think what to say. Which was when Mr. Smith called the class to order, and I didn’t get to say anything.
* * *
Lunchtime,and Aisha slid in opposite me at our table and said, not bothering to ease into it, “He seems gay to me. Men like that, young ones, who are kind like that, especially if they’re beautiful? That’s usually because they’re gay, at least according to my cousin who’s at uni. Which would be a problem at my house, too,” she went on, taking a giant bite of her sandwich, “but it’s not a problem for me. Just a pity that kindness doesn’t get passed down through the genes. Gay men can’t reproduce together,” she informed me when I must have looked puzzled.
“Obviously, I know that,” I said.
“Oh,” she said. “I thought you probably didn’t know anything about sex.Idon’t exactly know how that actually works, gay sex. I’ve heard, but … I can’t imagine, really. Sounds souncomfortable.”
“The family lives in one room at Mount Zion. And it’s farming. Of course I know about sex. Dominant male alpacas will have sex with the younger males if you’re not careful, so I even know about gay sex. I’veseengay sex. Well, in alpacas, and itisuncomfortable. Or more like painful.” I was never cross, but I was cross now. “And Gabriel isn’t gay. It doesn’t matter that he’s not married, because that’s not his choice. I told you. It’s the Prophet.”
“Maybe the Prophet knows he’s gay,” she said. “And that’s why.”
“He’s notgay!”I may have said it a little loudly, because some of the other girls at the table looked over. I lowered my voice. “I know he isn’t, because we were watching a film last night, with a man and woman kissing and all, and he got ...”
“What?” Aisha asked.
“You know.” I didn’t know the word for it. “When their penis gets hard.”
Her eyes widened, and then she choked on her sandwich. After she’d coughed a bit, she managed to say, “Youknowabout that? You were raised in a cult! You go to a girls’ school!I’venever even seen that!”
“You haven’t?” I tried to imagine how not. “What about when you’ve given your brother a bath?”
“I didn’t do that. I’m not his mum. And it doesn’t happen tobabies.”
“Of course it does.” I was never the person who knew, not if it wasn’t about cooking or sewing or something.
Sewing.
Pay attention.“It happens to all boys,” I said. “Even tiny babies. In their bath, especially, and anyway, when your brothers get up in the morning, you can see. Your dad, too.”
“Yourdad?”She looked literally horror-struck.
“Well, yeh. How do you think babies happen?”
She was shaking her head, then putting her forehead in her hand. “I’m rearranging my thoughts here,” she informed me. “So was that awkward, when he got … that? Or is that just like, oh, haha, I notice you’re enjoying the film? Because of the big families and farming and emphasis on reproduction and all? I actually have no idea which.”
“Of course you don’tsayyou noticed. You don’tlook.Well, you don’t look at men anyway, but youreallydon’t look at that. Except that I’m supposed to look at Gabriel, but I still can’t, quite, so I don’t look at his face, which is why I saw. But …”
“What was it like?” she asked.
Now I was the one staring. “Like?”
“I mean, is it really noticeable? Sort of big and pushing out their trousers? It can’t be, though, or you’d see it all the time. You couldn’t not noticethat.Was his bigger than your brothers’? Well, if they’re little brothers, obviously, but …”
