Page 70 of Just Say Christmas
“If you can. I don’t know how.”
“Fortunately,” he said, “I do,” and set about to do it.
She started cautiously, like she started most things. You couldn’t change everything. You were who you were, and she tended to start cautiously. “We don’t both fit in my kitchen. This house is a bit . . .” She waved the spatula, and he looked up from where he was slicing bananas lengthwise, then stopped, the knife in one hand. How could somebody so big look so still? She didn’t know, but both he and Luke could do it.
“Yeh?” he asked. “It’s a bit what?”
She swallowed, then went on. “A bit small, but that’s not it. The rooms are a bit small.”
“Yeh,” he said. “Also, you need a bigger bed. Which wouldn’t fit.” He still wasn’t slicing his banana.
“Right.” She blew out a breath. “Why is this so hard?”
He set down the knife and took her hand. “I don’t know. Unless you’re breaking up with me, it doesn’t have to be hard. And you’re not breaking up with me.”
“I’d say that you don’t know that,” she said, “except I suspect you do.”
“So,” he said, “we shove this French toast into the oven for a bit, and then I sit down with you and hold your hand. Once you say it, whatever it is, it’s only half as hard, because you’ve shared it.”
“Now you’re just being perfect,” she said, trying to laugh and not able to. He was already turning on the oven, and in two minutes more, they were sitting at her dining table, and hewasholding her hand.
“OK,” he said. “What.”
“First,” she said, knowing it wasn’t the main point, except that maybe it was, “Nyree and Marko are getting married in Tekapo Sunday instead. Surprise. Marko’s grandmother is ill, so they’re moving it, and making it much smaller. I still have to go shopping for a dress, though. Bugger.”
He smiled, then frowned, and said, “Going to be interesting, and by ‘interesting,’ I mean ‘horrible,’ for Luke with our dad, then. No crowd. No escape.”
“Good thing you’ll be there.” She said it gently, and he responded, turning to her like he was turning toward the sun. It took her breath away. She smiled, not too steadily, and said, “Sounds like he’s counting on you. But then, you’re a pretty good person to count on.”
“I’d better be. Not much hope for me if I’m not that.”
“Kane.” She was the one who had to laugh now. She’d been so nervous, and now, suddenly, she wasn’t. “Not every man is. Notmanymen are. You are, and that’s . . . that’s special. You’re loyal, and you’re kind, and you’re so bloody strong. Do you know how rare those things are?”
“No.” He was definitely looking off-balance now. “So we’re going to Tekapo. That can’t be the big thing.”
“No,” she said. “The big thing is this.” One more breath. “That I think we should make a plan. First—easy part. Or hard part. Whichever. Will you go with me on Boxing Day to see my dad? He’s in Christchurch. You know.” She tried to smile. “Where you live.”
“Boxing Day?” he asked. “Not Christmas?”
“No. He always works on Christmas. Extra pay, and everyone else wants it off. He’s big on duty, and he’s not big on holidays. It could be a bit . . . bleak. Fair warning.”
“Ah.” His face had cleared. “Like it was at my house until Dad married Miriama. He’s still bleak. Fortunately, she and Kiri aren’t. But I’m the only one coming for Christmas this year. Nyree’ll be honeymooning in Fiji, not that I imagine Marko’s ever going to be keen on family Christmas in Dunedin, and Luke will need to get back to Paris. Two matches missed for this thing? He’ll need to get back. Which is all a long way of saying, I’ll come to yours if you come to mine.”
“Statement,” she said.
“Statement,” he said. “One I’m happy to make. And after we get that out of the way, we borrow a bach from a mate of mine. Marlborough Sounds, maybe. Walks, and sailing, and kayaks. Or Kaikoura. Whales. Dolphins. Seals. We could learn to dive. We go away, and we have a holiday. We do it right, like it’s important. Like it matters.”
“It sounds so good,” she said, and if there was a sigh in her voice? Who wouldn’t have felt that way? “And I wouldn’t have to do all the hair bit. If you can get that bach. Busiest time of the year.”
“Nah,” he said. “I’ll get it. I have heaps of mates. And you definitely wouldn’t have to do the hair bit.” He wound a curl around his finger. “At least three colors in here, and every one of them bright as the sun. No hair bit, no makeup, and if I get my way, not too many clothes, either.” He smiled into her eyes, leaned over, and kissed her mouth, so sweetly that she wanted to sigh.
“It feels too soon,” she said. “And then I thought—Right. I’m just going to go on and say it.” At this moment, she had the courage. Who knew whether she would later? “Before, why did both of us assume the worst and pull back? Two reasons. Reason One: we don’t tend to assume we’re irresistible.”
“Shrek,” he said.
“What?” She stared at him.
He smiled. Lopsidedly. “How it feels, sometimes. Like I’m Shrek.”
