Page 66 of Just Say Christmas
“Well, not quitenormal,darling,” Tania said. “But that’s all right, because we all love Uncle Hayden, don’t we? Anyway!” She clapped her hands. “Who wants dessert? I think I saw some yummy cookies in there.”
“Yes, it is, Nana,” Isaiah said. “For example, there are two male penguins in New York City who are mates. Once they even tried to hatch a rock like it was an egg.”
“Which would be,” Craig said, “unproductive, reproductively speaking. Unsustainable. And occurring as an exception. Abnormal by definition.”
Finn’s son Harry was frowning, his specs a bit smeared, as usual. “Heaps of bonobos have bisexual behavior, though,” he said. “There was a study that said seventy-five percent, which makes itnotthe exception.”
“Which would be more significant if we were bonobos,” Craig said. A man who had to have the last word, even if the other person was eleven years old. Rhys had thought for a while now that Craig had a productive future ahead as an Old Man Yelling at Clouds. He was bound to become one of those retired blokes who always wanted to tell you what he thought, and that you should care about his opinion because he’d been a doctor. If nobody wanted to listen, he’d tell his wife. Rhys wouldn’t say that Tania was his favorite dinner guest in the world, but she hadn’t done anything to deserve a couple decades of Craig telling her that she’d loaded the dishwasher wrong and digging through his treasure chest of memories for more Heroic Adventures of the Orthopedic Surgeon.
“Bonobos are the most related to humans of any animal, though,” Harry said. “Also, there are male giraffes. And female—a kind of antelope. An African antelope. There are heaps of other examples, too.” Proving that Harry was exactly as challenged as Isaiah in the dropping-it department.
“Harry,”his sister Sophie said. “How do you evenknowall that?”
“It’s true, though,” Harry said. “What happens in science is what’s supposed to happen. That’s the whole idea of science. You can’t pretend not to notice things just because they aren’t what you wanted to find.”
“Called it,” Rhys muttered to Zora. “The animal kingdom. With reinforcements.”
She had a smile in her eyes that was trying to get out, and now, she asked Luke, who was looking more wooden than ever, and frozen to the spot, “A bit more than you were expecting tonight?”
“Yeh,” he said, starting to smile. “But good.”
Hayden put his arm around his waist and said, “Yes. Good.”
There was a silence, and Victoria blurted out, “Uh, Tania? Can I ask you a question?”
“Oh. Yes. Of course,” Tania answered. Her own smile was back in place like none of it had happened. Better than a blowup, though. Anyway, if somebody had to pretend that everything was all right and soldier on, why shouldn’t it be Hayden’s parents? Hayden had done it for long enough.
“There’s this wedding,” Victoria said. “Nyree’s wedding. I noticed that you’re an excellent dresser, well accessorized and all, and I wondered . . . could I ask your advice? I don’t have anyone else to ask, really.”
Her color was rising, probably because everybody was looking at her. She’d asked it to take the pressure off Hayden, which was kind of her. Rhys wouldn’t have been able to think of a topic, and Zora was still trembling with the aftereffects of quiet anger. Victoria went on, “Would you know about a dress? I’m playing the cello at the wedding. I’m Nyree’s maid of honor, you see, but she didn’t ask me to walk down the aisle, and she doesn’t have other bridesmaids. I’m down front instead, playing the cello, as I said.”
“Unusual, surely,” Tania said.
“Oh, yes,” Nyree said. “Probably. But then, why not be unusual?” Her temper was running hot, too. For Luke, that would be.
“The plus is,” Victoria plowed on, “no ugly bridesmaid’s dress. The minus is, I have tochoosemy dress, which is a problem. I have a long black one I normally wear to play with the symphony, and I thought that would be fine, because as a musician, you’re in the background, but . . .”
“But you cannot wear black to my wedding,” Nyree said. “No. You haven’t bought a dressyet,Vic? It’sThursday.I thoughtIwas bad.”
“Your coloring would be striking in black, or a deep blue,” Tania said, unbending almost visibly, “but Nyree’s right. Not to a wedding. If you were just the musician, yes. As the maid of honor? Absolutely not. And no other dark colors, not in summer.”
“You see?” Victoria said. “I knew you’d know. Or trousers, either, probably.” Tania looked absolutely horrified at that one. “The cello’s pretty large, you see, so I need it to be longer, which is tricky when you’re as tall as me, and with a full skirt, unless I want the wedding to bereallyexciting. Also, I bought these lavender heels a while ago, and I’ve never worn them. And I know,” she hurried on, “that my feet are big. Black makes things look smaller, and I’m tall already. Never mind. I bought lavender shoes, and I’d like to finally wear them. I’d like to own it. It’s been a long time. Time to own it.”
Like Hayden,she didn’t say. There’d been a fair amount of owning it tonight.
“What colors are you doing for the wedding, Nyree?” Tania asked, drawn despite herself into the too-alluring spider’s web of aiding the fashionably challenged.
“Red and orange,” Nyree said. “And green, of course. There’ll be green. But lavender’s great, Vic. I don’t care if you match. I don’twantyou to match. Matching is overrated.”
“Purple,” Tania said. “With red and orange. And green . . . It’s unusual. It’s definitely unusual. But maybe . . .” She had a faraway look in her eye. Challenge accepted, then.
“Nana Tania is a very, very good shopper,” Casey said. “It’s, like, herjob.That and dollhouses. She makes the most beautiful dollhouses in the world, with whole tiny magical lives, like on my new wall, and she lets me help. Letting people help takes patience, because you want to do it yourself. She says she has patience because she’s a grandmother. She’s going to help me plan for my wedding someday when I get married, too, because she’s very good at making things pretty, like Auntie Zora, but she has time, and Auntie Zora doesn’t have time. She could probably help you. She knows all about where the cutest clothes are, and how to match your shoes and your purse. Her clothes are all arranged by the color of them, so her closet is like a rainbow. Her closet isbeautiful.”
“Thank you, darling,” Tania said, her balance magically restored. There was nothing like flattery, or Casey’s big eyes. “Letting you help, and helpingyou,is my pleasure. Isn’t the wedding coming up soon?” she asked Victoria. “And going to be photographed?”
“Well, yes,” Victoria said. “Sunday, andWoman’s World.I have to be up there by Saturday afternoon. So you see . . .”
“Emergency,” Tania finished. “Yes. Idosee that. Hmm. Well, if I’m going to help . . . we’d better make a plan.”
