Page 97 of Just Say (Hell) No
He’d driven. Heading down the motorway with no destination but a vague ‘Home’ in mind.
“I don’t think I’m wrong,” Ella had finally said, after kilometer upon silent kilometer spent looking out the window at nothing. “Am I wrong?”
“No,” Nyree had answered. “I don’t think so. It’s a feeling, isn’t it. It was the wrong feeling.”
“They were nervous,” Ella had said. “I get it. I was nervous, too. But they weren’t just surprised to learn about Amona. They wereshocked.Weren’t they? How can I give the babies to somebody who doesn’t think Amona’s awesome? She’s, like…strong.That Adrian, he thought it was good for the boys to be strong, but he doesn’t even know what that means.They’remeant to be the adults. Shouldn’t they know that?’
“They should,” Nyree had said. “Who are you texting?”
“Tom. I thought… I thought I was going to be done. I thought this was it. Now I’m wondering, how am I going to know at all? Do I have to meet, like,everybodyin order to find the right ones? And what if I think I have, but they hide it? What if Idon’tknow, no matter what? What if I don’t find the right people at all, and I give the babies to the wrong ones?”
That was when Marko stopped driving mindlessly. When he exited the motorway and said, “Nyree, find me a café, please,” and she did.
That was why, twenty minutes later, they were in the Willow Café, a tiny venue hidden behind a business park, and Ella was tucking into eggs bennie on corn cakes, nobody’s diet breakfast, and looking like every calorie was helping.
Marko finally got to ask Nyree, “What color were they? Carol-Anne and what’s-his-name?”
“She was dark yellow,” Nyree said. “He was blue. Better than her.”
“What do you mean?” Ella asked.
Marko said, “Nyree sees people in color. You’ve never told her?” he asked Nyree.
“No. I told you, I don’t tell people. They don’t get it. They think I’m odd.”
“But you told me. I reckon that’s a good sign.”
“Wait,” Ella said. “You can love up on Nyree another time. What, Nyree, you see people some special way, and it means something?”
“To me,” Nyree said, “that’s all. Their colors.”
“So what’s… dark yellow?”
“Scared,” Nyree said immediately. “I felt… sorry for her. That she was so scared of stuffing up, but she also needs to make everything around her perfect, too, or it’s not good enough. Rigid, maybe. Hard to explain. Mostly, I got ‘scared’.”
“Not right, then,” Ella said.
“Not to me. I don’t think twins will be perfect. I think everybody will make a lot of mistakes. And I’ll tell you what my own grandmother would say right now. My Maori grandmother. When I was feeling like I couldn’t do something, or like I couldn’t do anything. When it was feeling too hard to be the person I was.”
“What?” Ella said.
“E whiti e,”Nyree said. “Shine. Shine your own light, your best light. Trust what’s inside. Shine.”
Ella was paying attention, and then she wasn’t. She jumped up, and Marko tore his own attention from his avocado smash, which was an effort. Ella wasn’t the only one who thought better on a full stomach. He sighed when he saw Kors coming through the door and said, “Figures.”
“No,” Nyree said. “Better.”
She sounded sure enough that Marko tried to see what she was seeing. The two of them embracing, belly and all, which wasn’t all that fantastic a sight as far as he was concerned. Kors kissing Ella’s cheek, then tucking her into his body and wrapping her up tight. Possibly letting her know she wasn’t alone.
All right, that probablywasbetter.
Marko had looked pretty tense for a minute there, but Nyree could tell he’d relaxed now. And Ella haddefinitelyrelaxed.
Nyree had always needed to be around people. Sometimes, though, that could be overwhelming. Too many emotions, too many colors swirling in her head.
No choice this time. Ella and Tom came over and sat down after a minute, and Ella started to work on her breakfast again as Tom said, “So. No good, eh.”
“No,” Ella said.
