Page 83 of Just Say (Hell) No
Julian looked like he wished a bolt of lightning would hit him right now, because that would be easier. “Oh,” he said.
“You’re having the babies, though,” his father said. “Obviously. So I reckon Juliandoesneed to do something. Get a job, for one.”
“No,” Ella said. “I’m having them adopted.”
Julian, looking like his legs wouldn’t hold him up anymore, sat down abruptly beside his mum and said “Oh” again.
“And you don’t have to do anything for that,” Ella said. “Not even sign anything. All I have to do is not put his name on the birth certificate.”
“Wait,” her grandmother said.
It was quiet, but Ella stopped talking anyway, looked at her grandmother, and said, “You mean the babies will need to know.” Amona didn’t say anything, but Ella seemed to get a message, because she told Julian, “You’ll need to sign, then. Put your name down on the paper, and say you agree to give them up. But not until after they’re born.”
“Right,” Julian said with an escape of breath that stated, as clearly as if he’d said it out loud, “Thank God I’m done, then.”
“Clothes,” his father insisted. “Food. There’s a price to pay.” He nodded at his son.
Julian hesitated, then pulled a wad of banknotes from his pocket, walked across the room to Ella, and held it out to her, looking like he wished he could snatch it back. “What I’ve got in the bank.”
Ella glanced at her aunt and uncle. Marko’s mum said, “Take it. It’s better for him to give it.” Julian didn’t look convinced, but he also didn’t look like he had any choice.
Marko’s dad said, “If you’ve got something you want to tell Julian, Ella, now’s the time.” His arms were crossed over his chest, and Marko wouldn’t have wanted to be the one facing him right now. Standing between both of those dads… that wouldn’t be a happy place.
Ella hesitated for a long moment, and there was no sound in the room but the tick of the clock. Her grandmother was the one who finally said, “There are no right words. Just the words you need to say.”
Ella took a deep breath, clutched Caro’s hand like a lifeline, and said, “It’s not your fault I got pregnant, any more than it’s mine. Or it’s both of ours. Anyway, it happened. But when I told you, you ran away. That’s your fault.”
Julian said, “I was scared.” He was nearly as tall as Marko, and he was no kind of man. Maybe someday. Not now.
“I was scared, too!” Ella burst out. “I was so scared, but I couldn’t run away from it. Did you think about me?”
If a boy had ever looked miserable, it was this one. “I did,” he insisted. “After. But Caro said you’d gone to Auckland.” He glanced at Marko, but looked away again fast. One guess why. “So I thought… nothing I can do, eh.”
“You could have asked how Iwas,”Ella said.
Julian didn’t answer. What answer could there be? More ticking of the clock, and finally, he said, “I, uh… I’m sorry. And I could… ask you now. I still want to…” He trailed off.
“You still want to what?” Ella asked. “Yeh, good luck with that.” Her belly was showing under her PJ top, even though she’d tried to pull it closed, and Julian was looking anywhere else, like the sight of that round belly burned him.
“I didn’t mean, uh…” he said. “I just meant, be friends.”
“You’re not my friend,” Ella said. Her voice was shaking, but her eyes were burning. “And you don’t get to be my boyfriend, either. I’ve got a boyfriend already. A better one.”
The tips of Julian’s ears were red, and there was a flush over his cheekbones when he said, “You don’t. You can’t. You’re just saying that to make me feel worse. I feel bad already, all right? And I just gave you all my money, saving for my motorbike and all.”
Ella had her arms crossed herself now. “I do, though. And he’s better than you ever were. I don’t mean like that. I mean he’skind.He’sthere.He doesn’t care that I’m pregnant. He seesme.All you see is my belly, and your stupid motorbike.” She stood, a little awkwardly, and clutched the fistful of notes. “I want to throw this in your face, but I’m not going to. I’m going to spend it on new PJs. And I hope you never get your motorbike.” She was blinking hard and breathing harder, and Caro was up beside her, putting her arm around her cousin. Ella shook her head, her blonde hair flying, then turned and hurried out of the room with Caro following behind.
Silence, again, until Julian’s mother stood up and said, “That’s it, then. Julian will be getting a job and giving Ella what he earns until the babies are born.”
Julian’s mouth opened, then shut, and she said, “Don’t talk.” Then she turned to Marko’s parents and said, her voice formal, controlled, “We accept the responsibility. We’ll go now. Thank you.”
When Marko went upstairs, saying, “Shower,” Nyree went with him. Ella had her cousin Caro, plus the best aunt and grandmother a girl could possess, full of more wisdom than she’d ever have. And she needed to talk to Marko.
But when he opened the door and came back into the bedroom again, dressed only in a pair of clean jeans and with a towel in his hand, she may have lost the plot a little.
“It’d be easier to talk to you,” she said, “if you didn’t have so much… torso. Bloody hell, boy, cover that up. Also if you’d shaved since your match.”
He looked her over as she sat cross-legged on the bed. Slowly, and without a smile. She was losing her breath, but she kept on trying. “Yeh, that’s pretty dirty and all, but your mum wants us to go get groceries for dinner. Not to mention that I’m not wearing anything sexy.”
