Page 79 of Tempting as Sin
Lily wanted her bath. She wanted it a lot. She wanted to quit talking and do some thinking, or some not-thinking. “I’m sure,” she said. “I’m surrounded by protectors, it seems, and I’m not helpless anyway, not anymore. Plus, there’s the little girl I told you about. Bailey.” How could she have forgotten Bailey?
“Huh,” Paige said, then went on slowly, “How weird is it that we both got hit in the face up there? And that Jace and Rafe were there when it happened? Wait. Don’t tell me.”
“Don’t tell you what?” Lily asked. Her mind was trying to shut down. Disassociation, it was called, when you’d had too much trauma and part of you split off and went somewhere else. She didn’t do that anymore, though. She was a fully integrated personality who didn’t need protection to survive. She could stay right here. She just needed some quiet time.
“Don’t tell me he did you in the shop, too,” Paige said. “On the counter? Or where? Wait. It was on the floor, wasn’t it? Wow. You reallyhavechanged.”
Lily forgot about disassociation. She squeaked instead, grabbed for the phone, and pressed the speaker button off as a hastily muffled bark of laughter came from behind her.
“Speaker,”she hissed, and heard a masculine protest at the other end of the line. Jace was listening, too. Wonderful. “Oh, great, Paige. Thank you for sharing.”
“Oh. Whoops,” Paige said. “Sorry.” She didn’t sound all that sorry. “He did, didn’t he? And was the first time at your place? If you tell me there was a thunderstorm and a power outage, it’ll be even weirder.”
Lily grabbed her wine and went into the living room. She changed her mind, though, and headed up to her bedroom instead. “Martin was in there,” she informed her sister.“Thankyou. Yes, there was a power outage, but there are lots of power outages up here.” Twinship wasn’t destiny. She’d worked too hard on becoming a whole person, not just the soft, fragile yin to Paige’s positive, definite yang. “And do you have to tell everybody? Maybe Rafe and Jace don’t share like we do.”
“They do now, apparently,” Paige said. “OK. I’m going to accept that you don’t need me, because those guys are obviously way more alike than I realized, and Jace is the most protective man in the world. This is all super spooky, though, and I want to know more when you’re feeling better. If you need me, come down. And tell Rafe, if the Venetian vulture shows up again? Punch him another time for me. In the throat.”
When Lily came downstairs again, she was wearing her most comfortable waffle-weave white cotton robe, had her hair piled on top of her head, and felt a little better. The bathhadhelped. Rafe reached into the freezer, handed her one of the softer ice packs Martin had brought, then turned the oven on. “Martin breaded chicken,” he told her. “He pounded it first so it’d be tender enough for you to eat with a bruised face. We have veggies ready to roast, and a salad, too. Did you take something for the pain?”
“He’s amazing, isn’t he?” She covered her eye, which was puffy, deep red, and fully closed now, with the ice pack. It did hurt, and her bruised side hurt, too. “I took some Tylenol. I called Hailey, too, and told her about tomorrow. She sounds excited, which is galling for the ego. I also asked if she’d mind looking for Bailey. She drove around by the park, but she didn’t see her.”
“She’ll be OK, surely,” Rafe said. “She’s been OK so far.”
“I know you’re right.” She sighed. “Thank goodness we already had sex today, huh?”
Rafe paused in the act of pouring olive oil over the vegetables. He resumed the action, put the bottle away, and said, “Which means what, exactly?”
“I don’t—” she started to say, then stopped and said, “Sorry. I hurt. Probably not making sense.”
He took another long look at her, and she wondered what he was thinking.You asked him to stay,she reminded herself.Time to be the person you are, and let him know you see the person he is, too. What’s the point of any of this if you can’t both be that?“Or Iammaking sense, possibly,” she said. “I’m feeling less than glamorous and appealing, and I’m feeling ashamed. I’m trying to be my real self here, and it’s not easy. I’m scared that you won’t want to stick around once you know the whole thing, and I want you to, because something in you calls to me so hard. And I can’t believe I just said all that, but I did. Please talk now.”
A long, long minute passed before he said, “I don’t know whether to laugh or kiss you. Gently. Could be I need somebody to write my next line, but since he’s not here, I’ll have a go.” He let out his breath. “If I weren’t here and this had happened, what would you do?”
“Oh,” she said, and tried to laugh herself. “Probably go to bed? Honestly.”
“Then,” he said, “why don’t you do that?”
“Because I’m hungry,” she said. “That’s the truth. I’ll amend my answer. Go to bed with a bowl of cereal.”
“I’ll bring you a plate, then. Want me to cut your chicken up for you?”
“Yes,” she said. “Please.”
It still felt unreal. But in a much more real way.
When he came upstairs twenty minutes later, she clicked the TV off and said, “Wow, a tray and everything. Thanks.”
“Thank Martin,” he said. “He found it. Sorry, but things may be a bit reorganized down there. All the labels on your cans are now facing forwards. He does that. Want company? We can keep watching TV if you like.”
“Yes. Please. On the company.” When he stacked the pillows up on his side and climbed onto the bed, she said, “You probably noticed that I was watching my first Rafe Blackstone movie. Your first Beast feature. I can’t believe I haven’t watched before. I probably didn’t want to risk falling in love with you any more than I already had. Too late, though. I thought it would be more like a comic book, that you wouldn’t feel as real as you do. You’re very strong. It’s incredibly satisfying, too, isn’t it? I kind of want to keep watching. Also, I’m babbling. The scary L-word got said again. This time, I said it. Phew.”
“Am I addressing that?” he asked. “Or no?”
“No,” she said. “Please. Not this minute.” She tried to smile. “Let’s talk about you.”
He smiled himself, put his own plate on the nightstand, and set the tray in her lap. A glass of wine, roasted vegetables that didn’t require too much chewing, and chicken breast cut up into tempting, tiny bites. Like he saw her all the way through, the way he had since the beginning, and he paid attention. “Dangerous words to say to an actor,” he said. “We can watch if you like, although I don’t much enjoy watching myself on screen. And it can be satisfying, yeah, if you mean the world of superheroes. A simpler place, where the good guys always win. Who needs reality every minute?”
“Exactly,” she said. “I know the difference, and so do you. So what? Why not be entertained? But it’s more than that. More than being good-looking and sexy. You seem real on screen. Genuine. All the way there. You aren’t just playing strong. Youarestrong. When I watch, I feel proud to know you.”
