Page 5 of No Kind of Hero
“Hi, Evan,” she said.
He did turn then, of course. He couldn’t actually be that rude. “Hello.”
Beth Schaefer wasn’t crouching down. The Schaefers didn’t do that. She just stood there in water to her waist.
She was thinner than she’d been in the past in both face and body, and with no tan at all, like she’d been stuck in a library for the past year. A little shadowed around her blue eyes, too, a little tired. But then, he was a little tired at times himself. Right now, for example, he felt about a hundred years old.
He stood up, tucking Gracie into his arm, and Beth’s gaze went right to her, maybe because she didn’t want to look at him. He probably wasn’t smiling. He probably had what his partner Dakota called his “wooden” look, in fact.
Gracie shivered, a theatrical movement, like the diva she was. He headed to shore, and Beth came along with him.
“Your baby’s adorable,” she said. “What’s her name?”
“Grace. Gracie.”
“It’s a beautiful name.”
He didn’t answer that. What did you say? He knew it was a beautiful name. That’s why he’d picked it.
He reached his spot on the beach, sat down with Gracie in his lap, put her bear-hooded towel on her, and started to rub her down. Beth laughed when she saw the ears and said, “Oh, that’s cute.”
“So you’re back in town again,” he said when he had to say something. “Sit down,” he added, because she looked so tentative, standing there. Like she cared that he’d talk to her.
She sank down on the towel beside him, wrapping her arms around her knees, and he ignored how good that purple paisley bikini looked on her. “I’m just here for a month or so. Taking a break. A leave of absence.”
He pulled Gracie’s stacking cups out of the bag and set them in front of her, and she dove right in. “That big job not everything you wanted after all, huh?”
“No, it’s good. Of course it’s good. It’s just been a rough year.”
He didn’t answer that one, either, and after a moment, she said with an awkward laugh, “It’s been a rough year for a lot of people, probably. Rougher than for me. I mean, there you are with a new baby. That’s got to be rough.”
He had to breathe for a minute. “You’re wrong. I’ve had a great year. A great decade. I’ve got a business. I’ve got a daughter. I’ve even got a house. You don’t have to be a lawyer to have a good life.”
“Evan . . .” she said, and he looked at her. She looked so sad, like he’d kicked her, and it made him . . . it made himfurious.
“What?” he asked when she didn’t go on.
“Couldn’t we be . . . couldn’t we be friends?” she asked. “It was a long time ago.”
He didn’t know how to answer that. Or rather, hedidknow how to answer it, and he couldn’t say it.Am I rich enough and successful enough to be friends with you now? Oh, wait. No. I’m still a house painter. So would this be the kind of “friend” you sneak around to see, and then dump when the truth comes out and the going gets tough?
But he didn’t. The moment stretched out until somebody else walked up. Dakota Savage, his business partner, butting in once again. Either because she was curious, or because she thought she was riding to the rescue. Damn it, he didn’tneedrescuing. He didn’t need anything. He had everything he needed.
“Hey, guys,” Dakota said breezily. “It’s like Old Home Week here. How’re you doing, Beth? I didn’t know you were back in town.”
“Oh,” Beth said. “Yes. Hi.” She’d flushed more than pink now. She was nearly scarlet. Evan remembered how she’d used to do that, and how he’d teased her for it. How pink her skin would be when he’d finished loving her enough, except that he’d never had enough. How she’d always seemed so surprised at how good he could made her feel, how she’d say “Thank you” afterwards like he’d done her a favor. How she’d cried after her first time, and how terrified he’d been until she’d told him, “No. It’s just . . . I love you so much.” And how none of that had mattered one bit.
“I was just going,” he said.You’ve made your choice,he wanted to tell Beth and didn’t.You made it a long time ago. You don’t get to be my friend now.
Dakota looked between him and Beth, but he was already stuffing towels back into the bag and picking up Gracie. “Will you be around for a little while, Beth?” she finally said. “Maybe we could have dinner.” Chatting, like this was normal, like they were pals. Well, they probablywerepals. It wasn’t like he kept tabs on what Beth did.
“Sure,” Beth said. “That’d be great. I’ll be here a few weeks. I can’t afford the time off, but you know . . . it beats a breakdown.”
Evan didn’t look at her, but he thought,Wait, what?She’d said that before. That she’d be here a month. Why? And then he could have kicked himself for even thinking it. What did he care?
He’d been a sucker for women for thirty-four years. He’d been a protector and a hero and a savior. He was done.
Well, he’d do it for Gracie. He’d do it for her until they put him in his grave. And for Dakota, of course. And his mom. But other than that, he was done.
