Page 117 of Red Fury
“Be careful when and if you end up returning,” he says, his voice gruff. “I more than likely won’t be here. You’ll be on your own. I don’t think Kozlov will give up too easily. Watch your back.”
“Be positive,” I say, injecting false confidence into my voice. “I’m sure you’ll be able to convince your superiors that you’re still the right male for the job. I know you will.”
Something shifts in his expression, a look I don’t like. A look that says maybe he doesn’t agree about being allowed back. Like maybe he’s already accepted that his career is over.
Before I can say anything more, someone calls my name. I turn back and see one of the flight staff, a woman in a uniform I recognize. In fact, I think I’ve flown with her before.
“Ms. Douglas? The aircraft is done with refueling. The pilot will want to take off soon.”
I nod, my throat closing up. “This is it.”
We hug again, and this time it’s longer, closer. I breathe him in, memorizing the scent of him, the solid warmth of his body against mine. I squeeze my eyes shut.
When we finally let go, I have to force myself to take those first steps away from him.
“I’ll see you soon,” I tell him from over my shoulder.
He puts his hands in his pants pockets and nods, but doesn’t say anything.
I walk toward the waiting aircraft, taking big strides to get it over with quickly.
Why is this so hard?
Why did I have to go and fall for him?
Why?
I turn around, hoping to see him watching me leave, hoping for one last look at his face. But he’s not there. He’s gone, probably already heading to his own gate.
My heart clenches with hurt and disappointment, which is stupid. So stupid. What did I expect? That he’d stand there pining for me like some lovesick fool? Not hardly.
I turn back toward the waiting aircraft and let out a small sob that I quickly swallow down. A single tear escapes and rolls down my cheek, but I wipe it away, blinking hard to prevent more from falling.
This is for the best,I tell myself.It has to be.
The aircraft door looms ahead of me, and I take one last deep breath of the terminal air before stepping forward into whatever comes next.
35
Fury
I feel like utter shit as I board the jet. My steps are labored. My head bowed. Every step feels like I’m walking through quicksand.
I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leaveher.
I make my way down the narrow aisle and stow my luggage in the overhead compartment. My movements are mechanical. There’s only one other passenger already seated toward the backof the aircraft, so I take a seat near the front. The last thing I want right now is to make small talk with some stranger.
No thanks.
The cabin attendant approaches, smiling broadly. “Can I get you something to drink while we wait for takeoff clearance, Mr. Marsh?”
“I’m fine…thanks,” I tell her, taking my seat.
She nods and moves on, and I turn to stare absently out the small window. Shadow’s aircraft took off just a little while ago. I watched it taxi down the runway, watched it lift into the gray afternoon sky until it was nothing more than a distant speck.
She’s on her way back home to Draig Island.
That’s it. It’s done.
