Page 48 of Look My Way
Dinner is mostly good, and I get to meet two new writers. Everyone is friendly and we’re all getting along great, until Rick shows up late. He sits between me and another guy, complaining about traffic and construction. He doesn’t acknowledge me for a long time, and when he finally does, he looks less happy to be where he is. Did he not look at where he was sitting?
“So, how’s that book coming along, Liam? Aren’t you supposed to be finished?”
I fight the urge to roll my eyes. “I am, but I need to finish my read through. I also have some beta notes to go through.”
His eyes widen in interest. “Oh, you finally using that beta I recommended a while ago?”
“No.” I shuffle in my seat uncomfortably. “Someone else.”
“Oh.” He scoffs, lifting the wine glass as soon as the waiter sets it down. “Hopefully someone other than that cop boyfriend of yours.”
The waitress interrupts us, asking if I want anything else, and I shake my head, asking for the check.
“Leaving already?” Hannah, a sapphic author, asks.
“Yeah. It’s been a long day and I have someone stopping by my house early tomorrow to finish an outside job.”
“Yeah, and he has a novel to read through,” Rick butts in, but Hannah keeps her attention on me.
“Well, it was really good meeting you. If you need a coffee slash writing date, let me know.”
“I’d love that,” I say.
“I’d be down too,” Ryan—who writes sci-fi—says, smiling between us.
“I’ll take y’all’s numbers down and we can do like a group chat.”
“Sounds great,” they both say in unison.
Luckily, Rick goes on to talk to someone else, ignoring me for the rest of the time I’m there. I exchange numbers with a few people, pay my bill, box my leftovers, and head home thinking how different things would have been if I’d allowed Zavier to make me late. Then I remember what he said, my body buzzing to life as the words filter through my head.
“Don’t worry. There’ll be plenty of opportunities for me to make you late.”
Twenty-Three
Zavier
Sitting three houses down from Liam’s house, hidden between two large trees, I refresh the document, my body lighting up when something finally appears. He was home when I first drove by an hour ago, probably winding down and wondering where Daniel is.
The son of bitch is at the lake house again— with his friend. I stopped by earlier when they both first arrived, watching them enter and not exit for a long time. When they did, they were looking around and leaning into each other. Was I wrong? Are they cheating, and it’s just some bed and breakfast type place they go to.
When I stopped by the other night, with only one of them there, I walked around the back and tried to find an open window with no luck. I thought about jimmying the lock, butthen a man walking a dog pointed a flashlight my way and I ducked, leaving in my car as soon as he passed.
I’ll be back again in the morning, hoping to catch them when they leave, and sneaking inside as soon as they’re gone. I don’t have the answers I want and a voice in the back of my head says to keep poking. That voice is never wrong, and it never leads me anywhere good. I could have stayed longer but wanted to be back here for when Liam got home. I didn’t want to miss any message he might send me and leave him waiting longer than he needs to be.
I hate making him wait, and I’d rather not have this thing between us start with him knowing what that’s like. I don’t want him to ever feel that with me. There’s this desperate need in me to always make him feel loved and cherished.Always.
With shaking hands and breath, I read over the section he highlighted. It’s something new, added at the bottom. Nothing from the original text. My body hums in delight when I read exactly what it is.
“Remember what I said yesterday. I want to be knocked out this time. Out cold. Left with an aching body and your cum on my skin in the morning.”
Oh, I remember. I needed him to say it again to be sure it’s what he really wanted, though. He seemed caught between a place of sleep and wakefulness last night, so it was hard to really take his word for it. He knows exactly what he’s asking for now, though. If Daniel shows up, then he does, and I’ll make whatever I do to him look like an accident.
I read over his words two more times and reach into my bag under my seat, pouring out two pills from a bottle, along with a smasher. I drop them into a bag once they’re a powdery consistency and slip out of my car, not dragging my mask over my face until I’m in the back yard.
The door drags open as easily as it usually does and I spot a cup of water on the counter. The shower is on, and someone’s singing carries down the hall. Laughing, I pluck the baggy from my pocket and pour the crushed meds into his water, looking down the hall as I do it. I wander around the kitchen for a bit afterward, looking through the fridge and frowning when half the items have passed their expiration date. Someone needs groceries. I’ll make a note of that for tomorrow.
I close the fridge, pausing when the shower water shuts off and it goes quiet around me. Drawers open and close and I start moving again. That’s my cue to make myself disappear until the coast is clear again. Taking a look around, I slip into the laundry room, closing the door softly and ducking behind the laundry basket when I hear loud footsteps on the other side of the door.
