Page 40 of Look My Way
“He feels like me sometimes.” I bite my lip, waiting to wish I could take those words back, but it doesn’t come. I want him to know that Lex and I want the same things.That we need them.
“He likes plants and tea too.”
“Yeah.” I chuckle. “He also likes musicals, but I never could get into them.”
“Is that the only difference? Do you also think about someone else when you’re in bed with your fiancé?” His eyes hook onto mine, darkening.
“Yes . . . I mean no.” I dip my head, closing my eyes, and he lifts my chin as he sweeps the tip of a finger over the front of my neck.
“It’s okay. You’re telling me exactly what I need to know without using your words. You’ll get there, and it won’t be anything you try to take back or lie to yourself or anyone else about. Like I said, I’ll wait.”
His lips hover over mine and our noses press together. “Whenever you’re ready. That goes for everything. Even if you have to do it slowly.”
Closing my eyes, I inhale and exhale deep. My tongue parts my lips, the tip flicking over his. Mouth opening, his tongue doesn’t move, enticing mine forward. I moan into his mouth as I slip in deeper, licking at the roof. My tongue laps at his teeth and then his fingers gently wrap around my neck as he guides my back to the fence, his mouth slamming hard over mine.
The kiss is hungry but also soft and careful. I buck my hips, rubbing my erection over his. My sounds grow more desperate, and his hand slides up the front of my shirt, tugging at my nipple.
“I want you so damn bad,” he says against my lips. “I always want you.”
I gasp as he twists at my hard nub, lifting my shirt to take it into his mouth. My body rocks forward, but I don’t notice until he holds me still, saying, “Keep doing that and it’s going to be really hard for me not to rip your clothes off right here. Is that what you want, carino? To be pinned naked between me and the fence?”
“I don’t know.” Except I know exactly what I want. All of that and more. I’m not ready to say all the words out loud. Then this becomes real and there’s a bigger chance of losing it—of losing more of myself to another person, who might take too much without giving back what’s been promised. I also have to make sure this is real. It feels real, but so have many other things that Daniel said weren’t. It’s because of him that I second guess myself. He was once the only voice in my ear, but not anymore.
“You do, though. What does your body say right now? What is your heart saying?” He lifts my shirt, kissing my chest, and then he licks at one of my nipples. My mouth falls open, body going into overdrive.
“I don’t want you to stop. That’s all I know.”
“I won’t.” He takes my other hard nub between his teeth and sucks, lapping at the center. I shudder, a warm sensation running up and down my spine. My head falls back, eyes rolling, and cold air hits my cock as he removes it from my pants. There’s a hard thud on the ground, and a warm wetness wraps around me.
Lips locking around me, he bobs his head and circles his tongue around the center of my slit. My stomach tenses, my cock pulsating as he takes me to the back of his throat. The tightness tugs at my cock, and I slowly move my hips, chasing him when he pulls back. His nails sink into my hips, his mouth making filthy squelching sounds as saliva pools at the corners of his lips.
I can’t recall when I opened my eyes and looked down, but it was like deep down I knew this was a view I didn’t want to miss. He continues pleasuring me and the backyard spins, sun appearing bright, and I grab onto the fence as I come hard. My orgasm is so shattering I black out for a second, and everything goes fuzzy—my head, hearing, and reality.
He slurps down my release, licking up any missed drops, and kisses above my cock, burying his nose in my pubic hair while humming in satisfaction.
“Thank you for trusting me with more today.” He peers up at me, stroking my hips, and presses his lips to each of my inner thighs. “So beautiful and tasty.”
My breaths come out in pants, and I slam my head back on the fence, trying to pretend this was all in my head, but my brain won’t let me. This moment has been etched into it forever.
Sliding up my pants, he kisses my tip and tucks me back into my underwear. My pants are done up and then he slides my shirt down, smoothing out the wrinkles in the front with his hand. Smiling, he kisses my lips softly and briefly, before stepping back. “Need help getting to the chair?”
My stomach knots when his words sound similar to someone else’s. “You think someone like me needs help to sit and move around all the time?”
His eyes squint and he runs a hand through his hair. “What? Everyone gets a little off balance after an orgasm, and your legs are still shaking. I was going to say we can wobble to the patio furniture together.”
My eyes blink, and then I laugh after digesting what he said. “Oh . . . right. Sorry, and no, if I stand here for a bit, I’ll be okay in a few minutes. Unless you need me out of the way so you can work.”
“Nah.” He waves a hand at me. “You stay where you are and move once you finally find your legs again. I won’t need to workover here until the boxes are done. I plan to secure them to the fence.”
“Okay.” My body goes slack, the wooden boards feeling like they’re moving beneath my fingers.
“Need anything?”
“You gonna wobble there to get it for me if I do?” My voice cracks.
“Sì.” He grins and kisses my lips again. “It’s really hard to stop, but if I don’t, I’ll forget I can’t at other times.”
I look down at my feet, guilt like a heavy boulder in my stomach. “I’m sorry for all this.”
