Page 9 of Look My Way
Me:What do you do?
Unknown number:Carpenter.
Me:So that’s where that paint thinner smell was coming from.
Unknown number:Wishing it was back with you?
I can’t believe I’m going to keep entertaining this. It’s only until after Friday and then I can block his number.
Me:It did blend well with my tuna melt.
Unknown number:It probably made it more tolerable to eat. Motor oil would too.
I laugh, leaning back in my chair. What is with this giddiness inside me? Did I ever feel this way with Daniel?
Unknown number:Gotta go, but hope you get lots more words in before the next time I decide to bother you again.
I do too. All of them are about how Lex is draped over a freshly built deck and stripped naked under the sparkling stars while tied to the railing. My fingers are moving so fast on the keys, I’m surprised I’m not making more mistakes. The words keep spilling out of me and two new chapters turn to four. So much time passes me by, and I quickly jump out of my seat when I finally look out the window again.
The sun is setting, and Daniel will be home soon. I can’t let him beat me there. As I’m packing up my stuff, my brain fills with different excuses for me being gone in case I need to use one. The waitress waves at me as I rush out the door, and I crane my neck, saying “you too” when she shouts for me to have a good night.
Only time will tell whether I do or not. Tossing my backpack in the passenger side, I slide into my car and check my phone before heading home. No calls or new messages come as I resist the urge to speed down the road. My fingers thrum on the wheel at each red light I’m forced to stop at. Daniel never hits me. Hell, he hardly even raises his voice. I was once thankful for that until I realized the gentle ways he punished me weren’t so gentle and were worse than any physical pain I could endure. It’s only when I mess up, though. If I stopped being so damn careless then all would be fine.
My stomach lurches when I pull up beside his cruiser in the driveway. As soon as I shut off the car, I delete all the messages between Zavier and me. Daniel has already made me his famous herbal tea when I walk in the door. Setting it on the table, hetakes my bag from my shoulders, lips pressed in a thin line as he guides me to the couch.
“Looks like someone pushed himself too hard again.”
“I feel fine.” I hold my breath as he presses the back of his hand to my forehead.
“You don’t feel fine. You’re warm and clammy. Sit.”
“Have you been home long?” My words are shaking.
“You don’t sound like yourself either. You can barely speak. Don’t worry. I’ll make you feel better. I always do, don’t I?” His smile leaves my stomach twisting.
“Yeah.” He does always make me feel better—right after showing me how sick I can get when I go against him.
Five
Zavier
I’m exhausted after work, but not so much that I don’t have enough energy to dig up some info on my new friend—mi carino.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I walk to my car as I use my other hand to wipe sweat from my brow. The sun is fading but the humidity is insufferable with or without it. My fingers are already typing in his author name before I can fully slide into my seat, and his picture pops up, along with his many book titles. He’s everywhere—libraries, brick-and-mortar stores, sites I’ve never heard of, and he even has his own website.
If I ordered merchandise from him, would it be his hands that had touched everything? Would I get a better whiff of the lotion or body wash he uses?
It had taken everything out of me not to shove my nose in his hair so I could take more of him with me when I left. After I’d been unable to turn the car on, I’d sat in the driver seatand watched him through the window. When he searched the parking lot from his window, it was never in the direction I was in, though. He was looking for a specific car. Did he ever see it? My eyes had moved where his did as he’d scanned each person walking through the door, no change in his expression toward any of them.
Once he was in a groove, typing with his headphones in his ears, it was like he was no longer this scared man sitting in a diner. Wherever he went in his mind kept him there for a long time. After calling in to work, I’d read a little of his book, seeing if I could go where he was. Panic set in him when his gaze had made its way back to the window, then he’d quickly shoved everything into his bag and rushed out the front door. On edge, his steps had quickened toward his car. I’d driven out of sight of where he was, and didn’t move until he pulled out onto the road.
Careful not to make it obvious he was being followed, I’d stayed a good distance behind him. There was always at least one car between us. It wasn’t my first time blending in with my surroundings to prevent my prey from seeing me coming. He’s nothing like the rest, though. He’s different. So fucking different.
No, he’s the kind of target you go after to eventually keep. I won’t have to force him to stay with me either. I’ll figure out all his hopes and dreams, proving I’m the only one who can make them come true. He’ll get what he wants, and I’ll get to see all his never-ending smiles in between all the blushes I’ll get when he’s naked in my bed.
There’d been a car in the driveway he pulled up to, and he’d bent down to examine one of the plants on the porch as if it was second nature to him. Probably one of those things he did without realizing. I’d kept watching to see what else he’d show me, and as he’d slid his key in the door, it had pulled open on its own and a taller man had ushered him inside.
My jaw had tightened, the same way it is now that I’m reliving the moment all over again. They were both so familiar with one another. I’d wanted to stay longer but I didn’t want to miss out on the money from any of my jobs this week. My pulse was thrumming through my fingers as I’d tightened them on the wheel. Curtains and blinds had prevented me from seeing in. All they’d given me were their moving silhouettes.
