Page 67 of Look My Way
He laughs again, shaking his head, and inches closer to me. “It’s a nice place.”
“Yeah, and it’s looking even better right now.”
“Oh yeah?” He stands on his tiptoes, running his fingers through the back of my hair, and my heart kicks in my chest.
“Oh yeah.” I give him a very toothy smile, pressing my mouth to his, and we get stuck like that for a while, our hands going everywhere and our breaths panting. He’s the first to break the kiss, lifting his fingers to his lips, and his cheeks pinken.
“Aren’t you supposed to be ordering pizza?”
“Ah right,” I say back with a smirk. “Let me give you more time alone so you can snoop some more.”
His laughter sounds more and more free. I hope I don’t take that away somehow the way others have. A sick feeling washes over me as I lift my phone to my ear on a call with the nearest pizza place. I’ve never spent so much time with another person for good reason, worried this darkness passed down to me would come out when least expected.
I like hurting people and making them scream, though I only ever aim it at the ones who deserve to suffer. But there’s a part of me that’s always worried someone innocent will get hurt along the way. And if it’s not me who accidentally unleashes something on them, then someone who may be after me to avenge a loved one might. Or they could be seen as an accomplice if I ever get caught.
I want him, but he deserves to have the best life possible, and can I really give that to him?
When I get off the call, he smiles over at me and lifts up a bear my sister got me last Valentine’s Day, making it dance midair. My selfishness takes over, and even though it would better for him, I can’t let him go. Wouldn’t the alternative be worse anyway? He saved me, and I broke him free from everything holding him back—from smiling, from living.
What if another Daniel comes along, shattering my progress, and ends up way worse than I could ever be? I can’t let that happen, and besides, I promised him I wasn’t going anywhere.
“Your place is so tidy but not as empty as you made it sound. I do think it could use more color,” he says promptly. “Good thing I brought my paints and blank stones with me.”
“Yes, very good thing. Did you bring the movie too?”
“Yeah, and a few others in case you hate it.”
“I’ll watch whatever. I’m pretty easy to please in that area. Just a month ago, my sister forced me to watchMean Girlswith her.”
“ButMean Girlsis a good movie. I’ve been wanting to see the musical for ages now.”
“It’s not bad. When it comes to town, we can go together.”
“You sure you’ll be able to endure it?”
“You’ll be there, so yeah.” I step closer, pulling him into my arms. “I’ll endure anything for my precious boy.”
“We’ll see about that. It’s not the only musical I want to go to.”
I laugh, kissing his nose. “Bring it on.”
His eyes brighten and he twists the bottom of my shirt in his finger. “We’ll start with watching a bunch of mushy romance films tonight and go from there.”
“Sounds like the perfect Thursday.”
“It’d be more perfect if you had ice cream.”
“I do. Chocolate chip cookie dough and whatever ice cream sandwiches Felice brought with her the last time she was here.”
“In that case, I’m raiding your freezer next.”
“Don’t mind the severed head in the back when you do,” I call out as he stalks over to the back of the kitchen.
“I guess I won’t, now that you’ve warned me,” he responds with a smile. If only he really knew what I’m revealing to him right now isn’t too far from the truth. Would it be what scares him away from me for good? I don’t think we have to get into that today, or for a while, but if he asks me, I’ll have to tell him. I said I wouldn’t lie to him, and I won’t.
He opens the freezer and closes it, spinning on his heels. “What about popcorn?”
“You sure you won’t be too full after the pizza and ice cream?”
