Page 6 of Look My Way
I wrinkle my nose the more I think about his answer. “Not what I was expecting. You eat that every time you come here?”
He shrugs. “Yeah. It’s fulfilling and a little nostalgic. Reminds me of when I was younger and . . . and . . .” His lips roll inward.
“And what?” I cock a brow.
“And when things were different. Easier.”
I definitely didn’t have the same childhood, so I couldn’t in any way relate. It’s the opposite for me now that I’m older, though. I’m no longer the one who has to run and hide with my tail between my legs. Instead, I unleash that fear on people who are like the assholes who were the reason I needed to run to begin with. “I think most people would agree with you about childhood being a simpler time.”
“Are you most people?”
“No, but I’m usually not when it comes to things like that. I didn’t have the best experiences growing up, but I guess I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I had.” Someone needs to do what I do to ensure there are fewer monsters in the world. Does it make me one too if I take joy in watching the light leavetheir eyes? Maybe. But I’m okay with that if it means taking the lives of men like my father and watching someone like the man in front of me enjoy his tuna melt without being on edge while doing so.
“That’s a good way to look at it. Although I’m sorry you had that experience. No one should have to go through that.”
I let out a sigh, leaning back in my chair. “No, but it’s not anything for you to be sorry about. Let’s not get stuck on my past traumas, though. We should go back to lighter conversation.” I lift the right side of my mouth, giving him a half smile. “What other foods do you enjoy aside from tuna melts?”
He shuffles in his seat, his face looking pensive. “Macaroni. Not the box kind either. Homemade mac and cheese that melts on your tongue as you eat it with all its cheesy goodness. Tacos are great too, and so is potato soup on a cold day.”
I don’t realize I’m smiling until I bring my cup to my lips, taking a sip of my diet Coke. “Those are all good choices. Especially the tacos. I have to say, I do enjoy warm, comforting foods on cold days too. I’m more of a chili and caldo person, though.”
“Caldo?” His forehead wrinkles, glasses shifting.
“Yeah. It’s a Mexican dish. My wela always made it when she used to watch me while my parents were at work.” She’s the reason my mom was able to get back on her feet. She was never a fan of my father, but my mom was too blinded by love and what she thought was security to listen. Never once did she guilt trip her for it, though, or give her the whole “I told you so” like most people would. The women in my family are the only reason for what good is left in me, and I save those parts of me for very few people these days.
“What’s in it?”
“I can show you Friday if you’d like to meet somewhere else for lunch.”
His lips move from side to side. The gears are turning in his head, I just hope they stop on the right thought. “Yeah, okay. I haven’t been anywhere new in a while. You really think that’s enough time to read one of my books when you’re usually too busy?” he teases.
“I do like a challenge, so I’ll say yes. Which one would you recommend?”
“I’m never good at choosing where to start whenever I’m asked this question, but it depends on what you’re in the mood for. Something more on the lighter or darker side?”
“Can I pull up a book site and go eeny, meeny, miny, moe?”
He barks out a laugh, his dimples more prominent. Fucking cute. I’ll have to add those to my list with the smiling and blushing. “Has it worked for you before?”
We’re interrupted by the waitress again and I’m really not a fan of it, no matter how hungry I am for food. There’s this new appetite stirring inside me, and only one thing can satisfy it. I’m nowhere near full either. Not even close.
“Here you are, boys.” She sets our plates in front of us, and I try to hide my annoyance of her bad timing.
“Thanks, Sandy,” Lex says with a soft smile. I wonder if it feels the same way it looks.
I lick my lips, tugging my chicken tenders closer as I reach for a fry, and Sandy is smiling down at Lex, resting a hand on his shoulder. An ugly feeling comes over me, tugging on my chest. Her touching him has me clenching my fists when I have no right to feel territorial over someone I’ve only met twice. That’s what happens when I become enamored with something, though. I get obsessive and can’t get enough. It happens with favorite foods, drinks, hobbies, but never people.
It’s more intense this time too, rocking me on the inside and making me feel both powerless and on top of the world.
“No problem, hun. Let me know if I can get you two anything else.” Sandy’s hand lifts and rests on her hip as she stands back.
“Will do.” Lex sits up straighter, twisting a corner of his napkin between his fingers.
Sandy hums, approaching a new set of customers, and I shove the fry between my lips, watching closely as my new friend lifts half his sandwich to take a tiny bite. His tongue swipes over the corner of his mouth and he goes back for seconds.
Both occupied with eating, we don’t talk for a long time, and he’s the first to end the silence. “What brought you this way last time you were here? Do you live close by?”
“Why? Plan on stopping by for a visit sometime?” I say in a playful tone.
