Page 39 of Look My Way
Rocking back and forth on the floor, I wrap my arms around myself. I go back to thinking about those eyes I look for through the window at night, and keep them there in my mind long enough to be able to peel myself off the floor. As I splash cold water over my face, the doorbell rings and my heart speeds up.
I pat my face dry with a towel and whip my head up, saying, “Coming.”
I hang the towel over the rack on the wall and rush toward the front of the house, realizing I’m still in my pajamas when I pull the door open.
Zavier gives me a once over, wearing a sexy smile that has me floating off the ground. “Hi.”
“Hey there, carino. How are you today?”
“Okay,” I say almost as low as a whisper.
His smile falls and he doesn’t look at all convinced. “You sure?” His hand brushes over my arm, and I peer around him as if waiting for Daniel to pop out of nowhere and say I’m too sick for Zavier to work on the boxes today once he gets a glimpse of us touching.
I step back inside, and he glances behind him, his eyes full of understanding when they meet mine again as he follows me. He shuts the door and locks it. “It’s okay. You can tell me the truth now.
I wrap the bottom of my shirt around one of my fingers, turning my knees inward. “Everything’s fine.”
His eyes downturn. “I don’t think you’re being truthful, but if you’re not ready to tell me, then I won’t push you.”
“Okay,” I breathe out.
“Okay.” Reaching forward, he strokes my cheek, and unlike with Daniel, my face automatically leans toward his skin, getting as close as it can. “We can stay like this a while if you need to.”
“Okay,” I say quieter than before.
“You’re doing so good listening to what you need. Such a good boy you are.”
My breath catches. “Yeah.”
“You’re my good boy,” he whispers, leaning close enough for his lips to brush the tip of my ear. He says it like he means it, expression sincere and warm.
I want to be his good boy too.
“Yeah.” Apparently, I’m short on words today. I breathe in and out, my breaths evening the longer we stand here. His lips brush over my forehead and my legs nearly buckle.
“I . . . I’ll walk you to the back yard.” I flick my eyes up at him and he smiles, nodding. His hand falls from my face and when my body slumps, he notices a disruption in me from pulling away, so he takes my hand.
“Take your time, carino.” He gives me an encouraging squeeze.
I lick my lips, turning them inward, and slowly move one foot in front of the other. He adds a little more pressure against my palm, and I pick up my pace, feeling more grounded.
“See, I knew you’d get there. There’s never any rushing when you’re with me. Not with anything.” Lifting my hand to his mouth, he presses a long wet kiss to the back of it, and my legs turn to Jell-O.
“I . . . we can’t keep doing this.”
“Doing what?” His head tilts.
“You know what I mean.”
“Is there something you’re ready to acknowledge. Because once you do, it’ll no longer only be real in the dark but everywhere else too.”
His eyes study mine. “I’m . . . not yet.”
“I’ll wait as long as it takes.” His hand separates from mine, leaving my chest hollow, and he presses it into the hilt of my back as he whispers, “I started your new book last night.”
“Yeah?”
“Mhm.” He rubs his lips together, shoving his hands in his back pockets. “It’s really good so far. I see why you called yourself Lex. He reminds me a lot of you.”
