Page 38 of Look My Way
“If you need one of those people who reads for feedback, let me know.”
“You mean a beta?” His voice shifts.
“Yeah.” I smile. “A beta.”
A muscle in his neck ticks and his lips bunch together. “Yeah, sure. Text me your email address. I use docs if that works for you.”
He wants me to read his latest book. Needs me to. The desperation is heavy in his tone and eyes.
“Yeah, docs works, and I’ll send it over now.” Plucking my phone from my pocket, I type quickly on my screen and hit send.
His phone buzzes and he looks down at the screen, nodding. “Cool. I’ll uh, send it over when I feel it’s not complete crap,” he says sheepishly.
“I doubt it ever could be, and nothing is usually perfect the first time. And isn’t that what my job as a beta entails anyway?”
He chuckles nervously. “Yeah, yeah, I suppose it is. Thanks for today.”
“Sure. Don’t forget your bags.” I dig into one, taking the apple butter out.
“I won’t.” Smiling, his face inches toward mine and he freezes in front of me. Lips rubbing together, his eyes hold mine in place for what feels like forever, and then he exits the car without another word.
I wave at him, and he waves back shyly, looking back several times as he walks to his front door. Once he disappears inside, Idrive off, and only minutes after arriving home, my phone alerts me with a notification.
My smile stretches across my face, and I click on the email, downloading the book so I can see what I should do next— not only to keep my carino smiling, but also to have him leaving the bed he shares with Daniel every night to be where I am instead.
Eighteen
Liam
“There was an anonymous tip left, and I’ll have to go check it out. Could be all day and night if what they’re saying is true.”
“What is it?” I look at Daniel, lifting my mug to my lips.
“You know I can’t tell you that, baby.” Lips lifting on one side, he sets his plate in the sink behind me. “Probably told you too much as it is.” He seals his lips over mine, the kiss lasting seconds. “Let me know how today goes with that Zander fella.”
“Huh?”
“That guy . . .” He snaps his fingers, tapping his foot. “The guy building the planter boxes.”
“Oh, Zavier.”
“Yeah, close enough.”
My jaw clenches. “Shouldn’t cops be good at remembering information like names?” I cock my head, catching him off guard. Not sure what possessed me to be so crude.
“You’d think, but with how crazy work has been lately, I’m lucky if I remember my own name.” Holding his palm to my cheek, his smile leaves an uneasiness inside me. “I’ll see you when I get home.”
I bite my tongue to keep from yelling how he doesn’t live here, and I don’t know why it hurts to keep it in when two weeks ago it was never a thought I’d have. I can’t marry someone I’m starting to resent, can I?
Daniel taps me lightly on the ass on his way out of the kitchen. The front door slams shut behind him minutes later and I go to the bathroom to take my meds. Only twenty pills left. Sighing, I pinch between the bridge of my nose. There has to be another way. I could check into other insurance options, but so many won’t even waste their time once they look over my medical history.
We’ve been together for a while. We know each other and have been through so much, but I don’t think I can trust him anymore. Yet one touch or look from a man I hardly know and I’m willing to throw caution to the wind.
I don’t know what this hold is that Zavier has over me, but it came so fast, I’ve been swept off the ground and don’t know how to find my way back. Shaking the bottle, I turn around and lean against the counter. Twenty days’ worth. I won’t make it very long without my meds. Before I went back on them, everything was worse, and I was barely functioning.
Closing my eyes, I take a breath and toss the bottle on the floor before sinking down with it. Everything is so heavy. The air around me, my thoughts, my chest and even the floor beneath me somehow feels like it’s using me to stay afloat.
I didn’t get to look out my window last night. Going to my office wasn’t an option. Daniel kept me in bed, holding me, and said we were overdue for a movie night. He senses me slipping away, doesn’t he? Why would he care, though, when I’ve onlyever gotten half of who he is. It’s been enough to evoke fear in me lately, now that my rose-colored glasses are slipping off.
