Page 23 of Look My Way
His lips twitch and he eyes our joined hands again. “The utensils are in the drawer on the right side of my sink if we need them.”
I smile, trailing my hand up his neck to cup his chin. “It feels good to choose something all on your own, doesn’t it, carino?”
His warm breaths cascade over my skin as I trace the seam of his lips. “Yes.”
“Just know you’ll always get to with me.”
“Okay.”
“Okay,” I repeat after him, dropping my hand as his mouth starts to chase it. Fuck, holding back is hard, but when he’s ready to go further, he’ll say it without overthinking it. He’ll choose on his own without me asking or initiating anything first.
“Utensils are by the sink, you say?” I reach for my food, peeling off the lid. The savory scent has my stomach making its own sounds, and Liam’s cheeks tint as he nods, his fingers moving his glasses.
“Cool. I don’t think they included them. What about napkins?” I search the kitchen, not seeing a roll or stack anywhere.
“I keep them in the other drawer. They’re reusable.”
“A man who cares about the earth. I like it. I should do better with that myself.” I set my lid back on the black container and walk to the sink, rummaging through the drawers as he stays standing where he is, watching my every move.
“I could always do better myself. Daniel hates it. He keeps bringing over paper napkins and plastic ware no matter how many times I tell him I don’t want it here. After a while, I gave up the small fights and allowed him to have whatever he wants.”
“Doesn’t he have his own place? Why not just go there and use what he wants when he wants to?” I seeth, grabbing two forks and a stack of cloth napkins.
“I don’t know. Says he likes being here with me.”
“Then he can learn to respect your decisions and choices.”
He scratches at the back of his head, staring down at his feet. “Daniel is . . . he’s a little more complex than that. It’s not that he doesn’t respect me, he just—”
“Respects himself more?”
“He’s doing a really nice thing for me with the planters,” he says, sounding defensive, his eyes not matching the slight aggression in his voice.
“Yeah, almost as if he’s overcompensating for something.”
“He’s not . . . he’s . . . how about we talk about something else.”
“Sounds like a great idea to me,” I agree, scooting two chairs closer together as I sit in one.
He looks at the other two and chooses the one next to mine. Our legs rub together as he lowers himself into the chair. Pleased with his decision, I lay one hand between us in case he needs something to grab again when he’s feeling less grounded. Halfway through our meal, he takes full advantage of it being there and goes from touching my pinky with his to wrapping all his fingers around the top half of mine minutes later. We’re both more relaxed when he does, eating in comfortable silence while occasionally running through random topics.
“Do you only collect DVDs and plants or is there something else you have too much of?” I glance his way, dabbing my face with one of his homemade napkins.
He swallows the bite of food in his mouth, grasping my hand tighter while sliding up and down in his chair. “Tea I’ll probably never drink, coffee mugs from thrift stores that had clearly been gifted from one person to another, and stones.”
“Stones?” Not sure why that sticks out to me the most, but it could be the way his voice jumps in excitement when mentioning them.
“Yeah. White or light-gray flat ones. They aren’t super easy to come across, so I often have to order them.”
“What do you do with them?”
He takes a breath, his fingers rubbing over my knuckles. “I can show you in a little bit if you’d like.”
“Sure. I’d love to see.”
“You have to promise not to laugh, though, because it’s kind of a silly hobby to have. It’s relaxing, though, and helps me when I’m stuck in my writing.”
“I promise. At least you have hobbies.” Healthy ones, that is. Instead of laughing, he’d run if he knew about mine. Am I really a better choice over Daniel? He doesn’t have blood on his handsor walk into homes uninvited. He doesn’t remove curtains in order to get to know someone better. But he also makes Liam miserable and dims his light. At least to me, that’s much worse.
