Page 20 of Look My Way
That is until he says, “I know you are, but I wanted to do it.”
Standing from my seat when he does, my heart hammers and fluttery sensations take over my stomach.He didn’t take care ofme because he had to but because he wanted to do something nice for me.He wanted to.
“Thanks, but I really will get it the next time.” What am I saying? Next time? I’ve already agreed to a movie night with this guy, and here I am suggesting we keep having lunch dates. This isn’t a date. It’s a hang out with a new friend. Except I don’t remember it ever feeling so good having a friend this close and finding every opportunity for our shoulders to brush or arms to bump.
“We’ll see.” He grins, holding the door open, waiting for me to walk outside before joining me on the sidewalk.
“Where do you want to go?” His hand falls to the center of my back. My breath hitches, muscles tensing.
“We can just walk around here.” I wave my hand around us, motioning to the surrounding sidewalks.
“Yeah. It’s a pretty big shopping center, so it’ll be good exercise, and I think that’s what you’re suggesting I need after all those chips I devoured.”
“Not at all. It’s just such a nice day, and I’d hate to let it go to waste.” Letting out a breathy laugh, I peel my body away from his radiating heat, and I almost step back so I can feel it again. I have a fiancé. I’ve never had to remind myself of that repeatedly while being around anyone else. But Zavier . . . Zavier isn’t like anyone I’ve ever met or known. He’s this welcoming presence I want to wrap myself in until I’m suffocating in him. Since he’s such a breath of fresh air, I’ll need to take an infinite amount of him in for that to happen, and my nose isn’t opposed to the idea. Not when he smells so damn good.
“Then we won’t. There’s an ice cream shop we can go to when we’re done that’ll help us cool off from the heat.”
His hand rests on my shoulder as he catches up to me again, and I keep the same pace, pressing into him as we walk. Have we been out too long? I don’t check my watch for what feels likehours, not wanting to look, because if I do, I might not like what I see and I’ll rush to get home. I don’t want to leave yet.
Where I’m at is too enjoyable for me to want to be anywhere else, and when I think of home, I think of Daniel waiting for me in the kitchen with a downturned stare. I stop his words from entering my head before they can start and stand closer to Zavier so his words are louder than any thoughts that might slip through despite my efforts.
“I think we’ve been around this whole thing three times,” he says an hour later, wiping his brow. His skin has a sheen from the sweat and . . . no . . . no . . . I don’t think things like that. My tongue tingles, my throat going dry when I think of how salty and sweet he probably tastes. I force out a breath, digging my nails into my palm, and he tucks hair behind my ear. That smile. It’s got me wanting to come out of my skin. He’s without a doubt gorgeous, no matter what, but when those lips tilt just right, I swear the sky opens up above him and fucking harps are playing.
“Yeah. I think you’re right,” I say, finally finding my words.
“Ready for a cold, sweet treat now?”
My mind goes in the wrong direction, and he points to the upcoming ice cream shop, bringing it back to the right place. The doctor did say my libido could return at any moment once I fully adjusted to my meds. Is this what’s happening to me? My body is suddenly in overdrive, and I can’t think of any other rational reason as to why.
“Yeah. Let’s do it.” A smile plays on my lips, and I don’t think a single one I’ve had today has been forced. Before we hung out, I kept thinking about seeing him again, and I carried his note around in my back pocket. I was playing with fire carrying it around the house while Daniel was there. He was in such a rush for work and was too busy paying attention to what was on his phone to do all his usual hovering anyway. He’s been moredistant, his mind somewhere else, even when physically sitting beside me.
It’s either work or Jared related. Hopefully it’ll keep distracting him today, and if he gets home before me, he’ll be too focused on whatever it was earlier to show me why it’s a bad idea for me to be out so long without him.
“Yeah, let’s.” Zavier hooks his arm in mine, dragging me into the shop. I can worry about what Daniel will do later. Right now, there’s only me and the man who makes me feel like I have control of my life again, while also making me feel like the most important person in every room. There’s also this sense of safety and security he gives me. I’m not worried I’ll say or do the wrong thing. There’s no waiting with bated breath to be shut down when making suggestions. He encourages me to step outside my comfort zone and is right next to me as I do.
Zavier releases my arm and orders first. He gets two scoops of chocolate chip cookie dough, while I choose three different flavors. Strawberry, chocolate, and cookies and cream are piled into my cup. We both grab our ice cream at the same time, and Zavier leads us to a table by the closest window. He paid again, but I’ll eventually be faster than him. Which means I’ll need more opportunities to do so. And that means more lunches, walks, and ice cream. At this moment, more Zavier doesn’t sound like such a bad thing, so I stay where I am now, not going mentally home to Daniel until it’s physically time for me to do so. Once I’m there, I won’t be able to be where I am currently for a while, so I’ll milk it while I can, laughing so much my stomach aches and smiling more than I knew was possible.
“You got a little cookie, right . . .” Zavier rubs at his mouth, and I mimic his hand movement, but he laughs, head moving from side to side. “Here, let me help.”
He lifts a napkin to my face, circling my mouth. His nose flares as his hand goes still. Laughter from behind us has him moving again, and he pulls away with a smile. “There. Got it.”
“Yeah, and probably last night’s dinner too with all the extra wipes.”
“You think I should do a few more, just in case last week’s food is left somewhere on you too?” He cranes his neck and I shove at his approaching hand. We both erupt in laughter, and I reach into my cup, smearing ice cream on his nose before using the napkin to clean up the mess I made.
He gets me back with lingering chocolate from the bottom, and we keep going this way until our faces are merely inches apart. His nose brushes over mine, tongue snaking closer to my strawberry-covered mouth. My phone buzzes before he can make full contact, and I sag back in my chair, looking at my phone.
Daniel:I’ll be home late tonight, so you’ll have to eat dinner without me.
I send a sad face.
Me:Okay. I’ll see you when you’re able to get home.
Daniel:Don’t worry, baby. I should be home in time for our nightly shower.
I wasn’t worried before, but I am now, and not for the usual reasons. I’m worrying about when we’re naked together under the water, about where my mind will be. Will it be with my fiancé, or back here, pretending it’s Zavier kissing me and getting that ice cream that may still be somewhere on my skin hours later.
Zavier shoots me a worried look, his brow wrinkling.
