Page 11 of Look My Way
I do get forgetful at times, but it’s not usually that bad. Not until Daniel wants it to be.
Feeling sluggish, I get up from my chair and search my kitchen for caffeine. Coffee isn’t my favorite, but I will drink it if it’s my only option. My stomach doesn’t agree with it most days, so I prefer tea or sugar-free energy drinks. I freeze at the open back door. Strange. I haven’t been outside to check on the tomatoes and jalapeños yet. Or have I? I scratch at my head, realizing Daniel now has me questioning myself more than I used to.
Cursing under my breath, I step into the back yard, but when nothing seems out of place, I return inside and lock the door. I go back to rummaging through the fridge, and smile when I spot a blue slush Alani in the back. No idea why coming across something you think you’ve run out of makes a person so happy, like a kid on Christmas, but it does. It means I can hold off on going to the store today. The place I once ordered groceries from no longer delivers, and the store that does never has what I need.
This unfortunate conundrum means I need to actually drive to the grocery store, and I don’t know if I’ll have time for my walk if I do. I’d hate to miss my lunch date tomorrow because Daniel says I’m lacking color in my cheeks or my hands are shaking too much. Yeah, I can go before I meet Zavier at the restaurant. The one he has yet to text me info about. Maybe there’ll be no seeing him one last time after all. Maybe he went away on his own.
My stomach twists. Weird. Is it because I’m excited to hear about what he thought of my book? Or is it because I’m tired of being the one who never walks away first?
It’s also why I stay where I am. Daniel has been here with me through all the bad and good days. He’s never once left my side. Things eventually became too hard for family and friends, butnever for him. If anything, he was here more when my condition worsened.
I pop the top on the can, closing the fridge, and my eyes widen when I realize the kitchen curtains are gone. When did that happen? Daniel prefers privacy, so there’s no way he removed them. I walk to the living room and those windows are bare too, with the blinds lifted as high as they’ll go.
Going to my office, I grab my phone from a place I don’t remember setting it and text Daniel.
Me:Did you do something to the windows?
Daniel:What do you mean? What’s wrong with them?
Me:The curtains are gone.
Daniel:What? Baby, do I need to come home early?
Panic rises in me at what that could mean.
Me:No. I . . . must have forgotten I took them down to wash them.
Daniel:You sure?
Me:Yeah.
I start believing my own lie too, out of habit. Yeah, it was me. It’s always me. Is this another one of Daniel’s tricks? No . . . no, it has to be my memory worsening like he said. It’s a side effect of the meds, or due to me not getting enough sleep last night.
I go back to sitting in front of my computer and my phone goes off again.
Daniel:Oh, I meant to tell you yesterday, but I have someone coming by later to give an estimate of those wooden box things you’ve been saying you wanted for your plants. He wants to see the space he’ll be working in and to get some measurements.
My skin jolts.
Me:You’re going to have them built for me?
Daniel:I said I’d always take care of you, didn't I?
Me:Yes.
Daniel:You always seem so surprised when you know no one will ever do for you what I do.
No one has either. Another reason I let him convince me to keep moving forward with us. So he has some flaws. Who doesn’t? And he probably isn’t cheating, and I’m just getting everything mixed up in my head.
Me:I know, and I’m always grateful. I can’t wait to see the finished result.
Daniel:I can’t wait to see you happy.
He does make me happy, but then . . . no, it’s me who ruins it. I don’t listen and I go against him. I make myself worse and ruin my own days from overdoing it. The bad days are what I create. Not him. At least, I was once sure they were, but whenever I’m out around other people, and those moments with Zavier . . . I don’t know.
I don’t answer Daniel back but return to my work, flipping through songs on my playlist until I land on the right one. I like matching music with scenes. It helps set the mood and get me in the right headspace. Once I’m there, my fingers fly across the keys, and I don’t stop writing until the doorbell rings.
Must be the guy Daniel hired. Rising from my chair, I pause in front of the office window when I notice the curtains are missing from it too. I remember them being there before I went to the kitchen. Shaking my head, I rub my temple and rush toward the loud high-pitched sound coming from the front of the house. Quickly pulling the door open, my breaths falter as a pair of large brown eyes hook on mine. Lips twisting into a smile, Zavier steps forward, playing with the pencil over his ear.
