Page 51 of Halluci-Dating A Demon
“I still miss him,” I say, sounding deflated. “That probably sounds stupid, but I don’t miss him for the wrong he did only for the good times we shared together. There were days I was really grateful to have him there.”
“It’s not stupid at all. You can still love someone who hurt you. He was your brother. I only wish he cared about that small little detail when he was doing what he did, but either he didn’t, or he just wasn’t fully thinking it through. But it happened, and nothing we say will ever change the past.”
“Yeah. I thought learning the truth would help give me some closure, but all I gained was another tragedy to wade through.”
“It sucks, it really does, but I can’t help feeling that Adam did you a favor. If it hadn’t been with him, it would have been with someone else.”
“Yeah, he did, without even realizing. You didn’t hear the things he said to me that day, though, about me always being an inconvenience. A damn hurdle in his way all the time. He said I was so pathetic I’d pretended not to see what was in front of me because I preferred to remain in denial in order to be happy.” I’d heard Adam speak to other people that way but never me. We were supposed to be different. We were supposed to always be there for each other.
I remained behind, wanting to be here for him even after he was gone, while he’d complained about pretending to do the same for me while I was right there. I don’t want to hate my brother, and I don’t, but it’s going to take me a while to not be angry when I hear his name. I don’t think he’d meant everything he said to me either. I think he was trying to make himself feel better for his actions based on how much he was going in circles.
Maybe I want to go back to forgetting, but then I’d go on living a lie like before and staying blinded by the truth I didn’t want to see. Adam was right, wasn’t he? I didn’t want to ruin my perfect delusions of Brody, and I didn’t want to ruin them of him either.
“I know, and I’m angry at him too, and it’s understandable for you to feel all the things you do. Feel them all you need. Do what you have to do to get through it. Scream. Kick shit. I actually know a few names of people if you need them.”
I laugh. “I think we’re making this whole thing about you now. I will not do your dirty work.”
She scoffs. “It was worth a shot.” And just like that Amy shifts the attention somewhere else, taking me with her. Hours pass of us laughing and Amy telling me embarrassing dating stories. I may have lost a brother, but I still have an amazing sister, and I don’t want to take any of that for granted by holding back any smiles with her.
After hanging up the phone, I sit at the table and after minutes of staring into space, Arien appears and sits in my lap quietly until my muscles awake. A knock sounds at my door an hour later, and I smile at the pretty purple demon standing in front of me.
“How did you get in?”
“Ian let me in while he was locking up.”
“I see. You could have come up from the other side of the building.”
“Yeah, but it’s much cooler in here.” He squeezes in beside me. Stopping acting like you aren’t happy to see me and go get ready so you can take me out somewhere tonight.”
“Where should we go?”
He taps his chin. “There’s a donut shop two streets over, and it’s next to the apartment I’m looking at moving into. I got denied at the last two places.”
I frown, closing the door and pulling him into me. “How many more are you going to apply for?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “But I either want to be close to downtown or right down the street from work.”
“How about you ditch the applications and come live with me?”
His face stills. “Isn’t it too soon?”
“Probably, but I’ve done the whole waiting thing before and look what it got me. I think I’d rather do what I’ve been doing with you this whole time—going in the complete opposite direction.”
Rocking on the balls of his feet, he lifts himself onto his toes and tugs my face to his. “Then let’s do it.”
Twenty
Arien
Elias snatches the large box from my hand after noticing how much I struggle to lift it off the ground.
“Looks like you needed a little help.”
“Serves me right for using a box half my size.”
“Isn’t that most boxes?” He chuckles, pecking my neck.
“Haha.” I shove him away. “And you give me a hard time for my jokes.”
