Page 40 of Estranged Heart
Huffing out a breath, I scoot to the edge of the couch, turning toward him. “No, you offered me a walk and you can’t take it back. I’m a guest after all.”
“Fine,” he quips. “But a quick one. I’ve kept you long enough and I need to start dinner soon.”
I can’t believe how long I’ve been here. We hung out most of the day and I hardly noticed time passing by. I’ve only noticed him.
Warmth hits my cheeks as I step outside, and the sun is in my eyes until I follow Silas down a sidewalk and to a sea of trees. “This way. I’ve come down here lots of times, only getting through the whole trail once, and recently. I wanted to try somewhere new yesterday.”
Catching up to him, I swivel around a tree to keep from crashing face first into it. “It’s nice out here.” And it was, with beautiful flowers sprouting between trees and the greenest grass surrounding a dirt path, along with him standing in the center of it all.
“Yeah. Sometimes I’d sit on the benches and read, thinking about how I’d be able to walk further down someday.”
“And now you can.”
“Yeah. Now I can.” We walk side by side, talking about books and the ones I recommended to him last time he was in my shop.When we finally get close to the end, I ask him about all the different instruments I saw in the guest room.
“I got bored staying home a lot, so I took up a lot of hobbies. Not all worked out, and all I have to show for most of them are instruments and lots of yarn.”
Chuckling softly, I sweep a loose strand of hair from his eyes. “So what you’re saying is that you can’t play a single one of those instruments in there?”
“I can play two songs on the guitar.”
“Yeah? I’d like to hear them sometime.”
“You say that now. Don’t blame me if you end up gouging your ears out.”
“Why would I?” We both stop walking and face each other.
“I said I could play. Doesn’t mean it will be good.”
“I’ll be the judge of that.” The tips of our shoes touch and he leans in close enough for our lips to brush together. That’s all it takes for me to guide him back to the nearest tree and smash my mouth to his. Lighting up inside and feeling five feet off the ground, I kiss him harder. Sliding my hands up his shirt, I’m lost in the warmth of his skin and tongue, and if he doesn’t pull away today, neither will I. I’m not sure if I was ever capable to begin with.
“Elijah,” he says in a gasping breath against my lips. “We can’t. I can’t.” He continues kissing me anyway, and our tongues wrap together as I slide a hand down the front of his sweatpants. He has no underwear on. Rutting against my hand, he moans, and I kiss down his neck, enjoying the taste of his skin.
“I don’t know how to stop,” he says, tears spilling from the corners of his eyes. “You have to do it.”
I rub the head of his cock between my fingers, licking along his clavicle. “What if I can’t either?”
“You have to.”
“Do you really want me to?”
“No.” He shakes his head, his hair messy and eyes wild. “No, but I wish I did.”
“I don’t.” Dropping to my knees, I glance around us to make sure we’re alone before yanking down his pants. He lifts his hands above his head and I kiss his leaking tip before wrapping my mouth around him. More moans and desperate sounds slip from his lips as he bucks his hips, fucking into my mouth. Moving in sync with his hips, I take him deeper, not stopping until he’s hitting the back of my throat. Already addicted to the taste of him, I lap my tongue around his cock and he plunges in and out, causing me to gag a little.
Shaking and gripping my hair, he comes down my throat. Using my tongue, I do my best to catch all of him, before pulling my mouth off with a pop.
Closing his eyes, his head moves from side to side along the bark of the tree and he laughs. “What am I doing? I’m a horrible person. I didn’t deserve to enjoy that.”
I pepper kisses along his half hard cock, pulling up his pants and try to maintain my balance. I feel like the whole earth is spinning and the only way to steady myself is to grab on to him. Once his pants are fully up, I grip his hips and pull myself up until I’m standing in front of him. “I’m glad you did anyway. How about we finish our walk now?”
“I need to remember how to use my legs again first.”
Looping my arm around his waist, I pull him off the tree. “Allow me.”
Leaning on me, his legs wobble as we make our way back to the house. I use the restroom inside before Silas walks me to my car. He doesn’t mention being a bad person again, or anything about Stacey, but he does appear a little detached. Regret settles in his sad blue eyes when he rests a hand on my door.
“Thanks for your help today, with the paint and moving the furniture out of my room. Oh, and for returning my waterbottle.” He swallows, his face hardening. “I’ll uh, see you around then.” He looks everywhere but at me and my chest is heavy with guilt. I shouldn’t have put him in this position. What we did really was wrong, though it was hard to see that before when it felt anything but. He’s married to someone else and yet every time we kiss he feels like only mine.
