Page 59 of Estranged Heart
Turning toward him, I press my nose to his. “And now so do I.”
“Did you . . . Have you bottomed a lot before?” His eyes study mine.
“No. That was the first time.”
His eyes widen. “Really? Why with me?”
“Because it felt right and you didn’t stop me.”
“I never will either,” he says almost too quietly.
“How’s your camping experience so far?”
“Mm.” He glances up at the sky, smiling lazily. “About a nine out of ten.”
“What would get us to that ten?”
“Food.” He rubs his belly and looks toward the ice chest.
“I’ll get started on that then.” As I attempt to sit up, I look down at my underwear and wince. “After I get cleaned up, that is.”
He lets out a rumble of laughter, tucking himself back into his trunks. “I’ll finish unloading everything.”
“Sounds good to me.” Grabbing on to the tree, I yank myself up from the hammock and a high-pitch sound crawls up his throat as he’s flipped over onto the ground.
He’s rolling around on the grass in a fit of laughter as I rush over to make sure he’s okay. “I think a warning that you were going to parkour yourself out of the hammock would have been nice.”
Chuckling, I offer him my hand and pull him to his feet, so fast his chest crashes into mine. He steadies himself against me, and as he’s about to step away I hook my arms around him, keeping him pressed tightly to me. “I don’t think I’ve met anyone who falls as much as you do.”
“It only happens when you’re around, so I think that should tell you something.” He stands on his tiptoes and kisses my lips. I pull a leaf from his hair and swipe the dirt from his cheek. “Sure. I wonder if your other friends would disagree with that statement.”
His smile falls and his eyes drift to the ground. “They might if I had any. Not many people stick around when you’re sick all the time.”
My heart sinks. He really meant it when he said he could use more friends. “Then they were never worth keeping around to begin with.”
“That’s what Stacey says. I guess I have my boss and his wife, but I haven’t really seen or spoken to them much outside of work. It’s like the people who did stay only did it because I needed them to.”
I lift his chin, smiling softly. “I’m here now, and you don’t have to need me for me to stay either.” I leave out the part where I feel like I need him most days.
“And if I get sick again?” He nibbles on his bottom lip.
“Then I’ll still be here.” I suck in a breath. “My husband was sick and didn’t tell me. Maybe he needed to know this too.”
“Maybe he wasn’t ready for you to look at him differently. Stacey only ever viewed me one way. Sick and helpless. But not you. So I can see why he’d want to hold onto this for a little while longer.” He caresses my cheek.
“Yeah. You could be right. It does make sense based on the person he was. He was always so strong and felt like he always had to be. He didn’t have the best support from his family. Wasforced to grow up too soon and spent so much of his childhood only having himself to turn to. I let him continue that way too because I thought it was what he needed. I didn’t want him to think I was trying to change who he was. What if it wasn’t who he was but who he thought he still had to be? Even with me?” My breaths come out in stutters.
“You can’t wonder all that now. All you’ll do is drive yourself crazy.”
“Too late.” I force a smile.
“If I’m not allowed to be sorry about anything this weekend then neither are you,” he says pointedly.
“I guess that’s fair.”
He gives me a chaste kiss on the lips and playfully slaps my ass before taking off toward the car. As he’s getting everything else out of the trunk, I change my clothes and heat up the grill. Music replaces the sounds of nature and lack of words between us as he sets up the chairs by the fire pit. By the time the hot dogs are done grilling, all the blankets are laid out in the tent and the lights are strung up in the trees.
“That smells delicious.” He takes out a can of Coke from the ice chest and walks over to me. I hold out a plate with a hot dog and potato chips on it.
