Page 55 of Estranged Heart
I scrub a hand over my face. “It wasn’t. And it’s not a her, it’s a . . . him.”
Her face pales. “A him? Are you . . .” Her voice shakes. “Have you always . . .”
“No. I mean, I never ruled out the possibility. I never knew anything outside of us.”
“Is that what this is? Some experiment? If so, maybe you just needed to get it out of your system. I know you’ve been restless,and feel like you’ve missed out on so much, but if you’d only told me you wanted to spice things up in the bedroom, I might have—”
“What? No. It’s nothing like that. You’re right about me experiencing weird side effects, and I thought that’s what this was too, but I’m not so sure anymore. I think we should take some time apart. I can go stay with my mom and you can have the house.”
Her face contorts. “No. I’m away at work a lot of the time as it is. More space is not what we need. I’ll quit the restaurant and hospital. What we need is more time together.”
“I don’t think that’s it, Stace. I just need time away from here to figure things out. Time to be on my own. I’ve never been on my own before. I’ve always depended on you. I still feel like that’s happening even with you gone a lot. You still try to do everything for me.”
“Please reconsider this.” She grabs my hand. “We can get through anything life throws at us, remember?”
“I’m leaving for a couple of weeks, and when I get back, we can figure out how we’re going to move forward. I can stay with my mom until I find a place, and you can keep the house.”
Her eyes water and she shakes her head. “Please, Silas. Don’t do this.”
My chest hurts with each breath I take. “You know . . . we never did go on that camping trip you promised me.”
“We still can.” She squeezes my fingers. “Silas, please stay with me.”
My eyes burn as I fight back the tears. “I can’t this time.” I press a kiss to her cheek and walk back outside, watching her through the window from the patio couch.
She dumps out her salad and tosses the dish in the sink. I can tell she wants to come out here when she pauses in front of the back door, but instead she turns around and leaves the way shecame in. The engine of her car roars, and before I hear her drive onto the road a text comes through.
Stacey: Do whatever you need to do, and when you come back home, I promise things will be different. We’ll fix this. We can fix this. Just please come back to me.
As much as I don’t want to admit it, I think it’s too late, and it’s not just because of Elijah. Things were falling apart before he came along. Stacey stopped sleeping in our bed with me when I needed more medical care, and I think she realized when I was better that me being sick wasn’t the only reason. I don’t think it felt right to her anymore either. It’s why she started working more nights—she had less of a reason to make herself want it again. I think she loves the idea of us more than she loves me. She put so much into our relationship that she feels it would all be a waste to just walk away now. It’s the only reason she stays. She can’t admit it to me or herself.
When I go back inside, Elijah is sitting on one of the stools giving me a sympathetic smile. “You okay?”
I shake my head and the tears rush out of me like a river. “No.”
He opens his arms and I rush toward him, standing between his spread out knees and leaning down to be wrapped in his warm embrace. “It might not feel like it now but you will be.” He presses a kiss to my cheek. “Moments like this only remind us of how strong we can be. You’ve gotten through everything life has thrown at you so far, Sunshine. You’ll get through this too.”
“I know.” I rub my face against his shoulder before standing back up. “Do you happen to like camping?”
His lips turn up into a half smile. “Not usually, but I think you could change my mind.”
My heart flutters, enjoying the small relief from the ache in my chest. “Would you like to accompany me this weekend?”
He wipes a tear from my eye. “Why wait until this weekend? I heard the weather is supposed to be perfect tomorrow.”
“You think the water and sky will be too?”
“I think it all will be when I show up with the key ingredient.” He purses his lips.
“And what’s that?”
He stands up, pressing his nose to mine. “The right kind of sunshine.”
Twenty-one
Elijah
Things happened so suddenly yesterday and I knew Silas was struggling with what he was doing behind Stacey’s back. He didn’t want to lie to her anymore even though she has yet to speak the truth to him. I think she let him go a long time ago without realizing. His illness is what brought them together and kept them that way until there was nothing left distracting them from the truth.
