Page 52 of Estranged Heart
“I’m not in the mood to fight this morning, Silas,”she said.“I’ll be home for dinner.”
Then she was gone. The kisses goodbye have stopped since the night I snuck away to see Elijah at the lake. Almost like she knows. But how can she when she was doing a night shift at the hospital? We were alone in that parking lot and I didn’t hear from her until morning when she was on her way home, picking up donuts for breakfast. While we sat at the kitchen table eating, with barely two sentences between us, I kept shifting in my chair, thinking about Elijah’s fingers. There was a slight ache left behind, reminding me of what we did. I tried to stay with her in the kitchen but my mind pulled me back into his car.
Even with her sitting across the table, it felt like she was somewhere else. She wouldn’t look at me the whole time. Maybe if she had, I’d have stopped seeing his eyes instead. They burned into my brain while I was coming on top of him.
My phone buzzes again, my gaze going from the door to the small lit-up screen.
Stacey: It’s going to be a late dinner.
Me:Maybe you should stop telling me when you’ll be home if you don’t know for sure.
Stacey: Didn’t I tell you I don’t want to fight? I meant it. I’m having a stressful week as it is.
Me: I’m sorry, but last time I checked we’re supposed to be married and it hasn’t felt that way in a long time.
Stacey: It only feels like that now. Once I’m home more, and you’re feeling like yourself again, it’ll be better.
Me: When will that be? I’m not sure you want to be here anymore, and what if this is me now? What if I’ll never be that man you fell in love with again?
What if she’ll never again be the person I always want to run to?
Stacey: Sounds like you need more rest, you’re being irrational again. I can’t do this right now. Work is really crazy. We’ll talk later.
Sighing, I slam the phone down on the counter behind me, flinching when the front door hisses open. Elijah’s dark eyes pin me in place, his face tilting to the side.
“Everything okay?”
I scrub a hand over my face, shaking my head. “I don’t think so.”
He frowns, inching closer. “Problems with the yard work or something else?”
“It’s everything, I guess.”
Nodding in understanding, he takes my hands in his, squeezing my fingers. “Then how about we start with the easy stuff first and work our way up?”
“Yeah.” I lean in closer, breathing in his intoxicating scent. He smells of old book pages, the summer air, and coffee.
He strokes a thumb over my cheek. “Have you eaten yet?”
“No. I was about to fix some sandwiches.”
“I’ll help then.” He steps back, looking around. “Is it me, or has this kitchen changed since I was last here?”
I laugh, turning to face the sink. “It’s not you. I’ve moved a few things around. It’s driving Stacey crazy. It’s like I’ve woken up in someone else’s house and need to get it back to a place I feel I belong. I guess another weird side effect.”
“Is that what I am too?” He stands behind me, rubbing his nose into the back of my neck.
I do my best to ignore how good his hands feel on my waist. I should have put a clean shirt on before he got here. Would it have mattered? It’s not like I can hide every inch of my skin from him. My neck would still feel his warm breath and won’t be safe from the press of his lips.
“What?” I finally answer, turning on the faucet. After soaping up my hands, I shove them under the warm water.
“Am I one of your weird side effects?”
I suck air between my teeth, shutting off the sink. “I don’t know.” I spin around to face him and he presses his forehead to mine. That’s when I realize he’s much like all the new items in my kitchen—something I need in here in order for me to feel at home again.
“We should uh . . . get started on those sandwiches.” I try to step around him but he holds me in place.
“I think we both know I’m not here for food.” His lips brush over mine. “These last few days haven’t been easy, but you always feel so effortless. I thought I could handle being at all myold favorite places again. Turns out, I was only able to be there when you were there with me. You make me forget why it’s so hard to be there.”
