Page 41 of Run to Me
Nineteen
Jace
When I first saw the email, I wanted to delete it and pretend it never existed. But then I thought about how many of the wrong guys he’d fallen for in the past and how I had to make sure this guy was what he truly needed. That this guy really deserved him and was worthy. I knew seeing him would be hard but I wasn’t prepared for how much.
He keeps looking at me with confused and angry eyes. They’re hard to look away from. He’s hard to look away from. Missing him is one of the fucking reasons, and the other being what a gorgeous man he’s grown into. More breathtaking than ever with honey-colored hair and luscious pink lips. He keeps licking and biting them, shifting from side to side as we wait to be seated at a table.
Mom and Dad are right behind us when a waitress grabs our menus and leads us to a back corner. Nate sits by the window and Glen sits across from him, reaching for his hand whiletelling me how often they’ve been here together. As if I give a shit about Nate being anywhere with anyone else but me. As if I care to hear this guy’s voice more than I was already forced to in the car.
I bite my tongue to stop myself from telling him all the places I’ve been too. The parts of Nate I got to visit before him or anyone else.
He seems nice enough. Good looking with a decent paying job and genuine love for my brother. All his constant random touches and smiles tell me how much he adores him. Probably for all the same reasons I did, and still do. As I circle around the table to take the seat next to Nate, my mom squeezes between us, and my dad has a confused look on his face when she does. I shake it off and walk back around, lowering myself next to Glen.
My dad asks me about what I’ve been up to, and all focus is on me for the next thirty minutes as more questions are thrown my way. My mom keeps watching me as if waiting for me to jump across the table and attack Nate like some predator on Animal Planet. The trust will never be there no matter what I do. I’ve stayed away all this time, and came back to show how supportive of this new relationship I am. What more does she want?
I’m pretending not to care, hiding my jealousy and primal urges. Holding back the need to show Nate who he should be marrying instead. And it’s fucking painful. I want to crawl out of my damn skin the tighter it feels around my bones. I’m doing all this for her and him—because it’s what’s right. Only, I’m not getting the same satisfaction from it as I did when I dragged a fucking serial rapist by his dick with my tractor yesterday.
Hearing his screams and his begging for me to stop felt good, but this is fucking torture. This is where I’m still that bad person. Unable to free him from my heart and to stop thinking all the wrong thoughts when he’s near.
I want to snatch his hand away from Glen and hold it in mine again. I want to kiss his soft fingers and feel them all over my body. I want all the things I need to forget about wanting. He’s marrying someone else, and he’ll be much happier with him than he ever was with me.
Maybe he doesn’t look as excited as a newly engaged man should, but I’m sure that has to do with my presence. The shock on his face hasn’t fully faded and he hasn’t said much this whole time. It’s almost as if he’s forgotten how to act around me. Or is the new him truly this quiet and easily agreeable.
Glen orders for both of them, food Nate has never cared for before. He asks the waitress to refill Nate’s cup when it’s half empty. His “thank you” is almost too quiet and his smiles come off uneasy. Yeah, I should have stayed gone. If I knew I’d cause him this much distress and discomfort while being here, I would never have shown.
The Nate sitting a few seats away from me is unrecognizable, moving like a robot with the usual bright light he once held in his eyes almost nonexistent. Am I the only one who notices the difference? You would think so by the way everyone is carrying on normally, laughing and cracking jokes.
“Are you staying with me and Dad?” Mom asks, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
“I actually got a hotel. I didn’t want to put you guys out.”
“Why would you do that when you still have a perfectly good room at the house?” My dad dabs his mouth with a napkin, raising a brow. “You too cool to stay with your mom and dad now?”
Mom waves him off. “Oh hun, you know you can’t force him. If he wants to stay somewhere else, he can. He knows our door is always open if he changes his mind.” Her smile tightens.
“Why not stay with Nate?” Glen suggests. “He has a three-bedroom house with plenty of room. I know how much he complains about being in that big house by himself all the time.”
Nate’s eyes widen, shoulders lifting and face tensing.
My stomach twists at his response. Yeah, he’s nothing like the person I remember. He’d be the first to talk me into staying over and having late-night movie nights. “Oh, I wouldn’t want to impose. It’s y’alls engagement night after all. I’d think you’d want your privacy.”
One of Glen’s shoulders lift and he casually reaches for his iced water. “You wouldn’t be. If anything you’d be doing me a favor, keeping this one company when I can’t. Sadly I have a flight at five a.m. and need to leave for the airport at three. Business meeting out of town.”
“You didn’t tell me,” Nate says, sitting up higher in his chair. “How long will you be gone?”
Glen leans back in his chair, lifting his cup to his parting lips. “I thought I did yesterday? Besides, it’s only a couple of days, babe. You’ll be so busy catching up with your brother and work you’ll hardly notice I’m gone.”
“I actually have to head out in the morning too,” I blurt. “I’m not sure the new farm hand can handle three days without me.”
“But you just got here,” Nate says unexpectedly.
Tongue tied, I gulp down some of my tea and nod. “Yeah, I know, and I probably shouldn’t have left with all the work needing to be done, but I didn’t want to miss another important moment in my brother’s life.”
“That’s sweet. I’m sure Nate appreciates any time you’re willing to spare, even though I think it’d make him really happy to get to see more of you. I’m glad we had the chance to finally meet.” Glen smiles, setting his glass down.
“Yeah, me too.” I force a smile, not sure I believe my own words.
The food comes and we all eat, Nate saying even less than before. Thankfully, the remainder of the questions aren’t all pointed toward me and are more for Glen. Mom is so interested in this guy, beaming at him every time he opens his mouth. He’s very charming, no doubt. The more perfect he comes off, the more wary I get.
