Page 47 of Run to Me
“You need to keep thinking that way then. Because I’m not.” I exit the bathroom, adjusting myself in my pants, and he stays where he is, not moving when I sit on the edge of his bed to stare at the hearts with our initials inside carved at the ends of his bed post. Not moving when I stand up and look toward the bathroom, waiting for him to walk out to argue with me some more.
Feeling like my feet are too heavy for the rest of my body, I stand in the doorway, and struggle to cross the threshold when I hear his cries echoing. My heart twists, my chest caving from the pain. I’m doing this for him. I’m going to let him marry Glen and stop thinking of me in the wrong way. If I stay and entertain what we were doing in the bathroom again, that’ll make me selfish, because I’ll be keeping him all to myself again, for me.
This is what’s right, and sometimes the best thing you can do will tear you apart before you learn to appreciate the outcome. I force one foot in front of the other, taking a deep breath as I walk into the next room.
He’s right. My mom kept it exactly the same. The bedding, curtains, and System of The Down posters. Everything. Closing my eyes, I inhale the scent of him lingering everywhere around me. He really did come in here a lot. Often enough to leave so much of himself behind.
A hand rests on my arm and I crane my neck, my eyes held captive by his. They’re wet and shining from the light breaking through the parting curtains. “Will you at least come stay withme? We can watch movies. Do brother stuff only. Just like you want.”
“I . . . I don’t know. I had a long flight here and didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“After all these years you’re still a terrible liar. What about tomorrow?”
His bottom lip twitches and it was what he did when he knew I wasn’t going to let him have his way easily. “Yeah, sure. Okay. Tomorrow only. I’ll crash here after that. Then I can see if my Playstation still works.”
“We can always take it to my house and try it there?” His voice trembles.
“Or we can play now while we wait for Mom?”
His lips shift from side to side and he nods. “Yeah, okay, but if you die before I do then you’ll come stay with me tonight.”
I sit next to him, reaching for the remote in his hand with my lips twisting. Not using words, I slump my shoulders in defeat, waving my head back and forth with a loud breath pushing out of my lips as I hit the “on” button on the TV remote.
A faint smile plays on his lips because he knows he’s finally gotten his way, and it feels way too good letting him.
Twenty-Two
Nate
Jumping to my feet, I raise my hands in triumph. “Take that, sucker.”
Barking out a laugh, Jace rolls his eyes and tosses his game controller beside him on the bed. “You always were a sore winner.”
Doing a little dance in front of him, I shake my hips and stick out my tongue. “And you were always a sore loser.”
Yanking me by the arm, he pulls me back onto the bed and tickles my side. We wrestle around, laughing and trying to one-up each other. My back hits the bed and he jumps on top of me, pinning down my chest when I try to sit up. “Now this is a game I’ve won every damn time.”
“You joined the wrestling team in high school so it’s an unfair advantage,” I say dryly.
Flopping over to the other side of me, he rolls his head back and forth, smiling wide. “Who’s the sore loser now?”
“I do learn from the best.”
Elbowing me in the side, he stares up at the glow-in-the dark stickers, tilting his head. “You think those still work?”
“I know they do.” I turn my face toward him. “Nothing beats the ones outside, though, and I have a pretty great view on my back porch.”
“You’re really set on me staying over tonight, aren’t you?” He rubs at his chest, sliding close enough for our noses to touch when he fully looks my way. My breath catches in my throat, heart wild and all over the place in my chest. Neither of us move for a long time, our breaths matching and eyes locking.
“Boys? You in here?” Our mom’s voice has us sitting up in bed and placing space between us.
Her eyebrows rise in alert when she peeks her head in, and a flashback to how she looked last time she walked in on us together takes hostage of my mind. I don’t know why I’m waiting for her nose to turn up in disgust again and for disappointment to flash in her eyes when Jace nudges me back to reality.
Instead, her gaze is ping-ponging between the remotes Jace set in our laps without me noticing.
“Hey, Mom. We’re just in here playing some video games,” Jace says, forcing a smile.
“Oh,” she says, not sounding fully convinced, as if somehow her eyes might be playing tricks on her. “It’s good to know that thing still works. You left so much of your stuff behind, but I didn’t want to get rid of it in case you missed it.”
