Page 38 of Blood Spilled
“Nowhere. You should be free.”
“I’m not free here.” I take a few steps away from him.
“Then do something about it. Take it back. I know you can.”
My eyes widen and I shake my head. “It’s not that easy.”
“Freedom in this life is never easy, mi mascota. You have to be willing to fight for it. You didn’t come this far to let it slip away from you again. You are stronger than you know. Stronger than your mother and your brothers. It’s time you show her.”
“As long as she’s alive, I will always remain stuck in this hell I was born in.”
“We all have a choice and I know you will soon make the right one. No one can make it for you, only you.” He takes a step closer to me, reaching for my arm and I yank it away.
“You want her dead too.”
“Yes, but to me it was only about revenge. Now I find myself wanting her dead for other reasons. It’s no longer about what they did to me or my family. They have hurt you far more than they’ve hurt me. They are the reason for who you were before, and they shouldn’t be the reason for who you turn into in the future.”
“Who is at fault for how I am now? What’s the reason for this yearning and moment of weakness that has me constantly surrendering to one of my biggest enemies?”
He traces my jaw line with the blade of his thumb. “That, mi mascota, is love.”
“This thing between us is too messy to be love, too chaotic, and unhinged.”
“Love knows no bounds. It isn’t always black and white. It’s not always right or wrong. Sometimes it’s all of the above and more. Sometimes it’s just two people drawn together in ways that can’t be explained or ignored.”
“What do you suggest we do?”
Angel smiles softly. “Embrace it.”
“And our hate?”
“Use it against the people who truly deserve it.” He kisses me again and it’s messy, derived from desperation and hunger. Ikiss him back, melting against him, because I’m tired of fighting the one thing that has ever set my body on fire. The one thing that gives me the strength to step away from the life I’ve never wanted.
He pulls away with his mouth still hovering over mine, and he slides my gun back in my hand. “Will you kill me today?” His eyes meet mine, soft and endearing. I know now I’m not the only one who’s surrendering.
I tuck a loose strand of hair behind his ear, brushing my lips against his, enjoying the roughness of his beard on my skin. “Not tonight, but maybe tomorrow.”
He presses a kiss to my forehead, and stares into my eyes one last time before disappearing into the sea of trees. Just like the last two nights, I wander around completely lost before finally finding my way back inside my new prison. I toss and turn in my bed, unable to get comfortable. Finally giving up after an hour of restlessness, I toss my bedding to the floor. After I strip off all the constricting clothing, I curl into a ball. I shut my eyes and bury my face against the floorboards when the pillow feels too soft.
Twenty-six
Angel
I didn't want to leave him last night, but I didn't have a choice in the matter. I wasn't prepared to go to war against his mom yet. Not alone at least. I had to stop myself from trying anyway, killing the thoughts in my head that told me to go back and raise hell.
I'm willing to fight for him at any cost and that alone makes these feelings I have more dangerous. When I told him I loved him, he was still coming down from his high, which is the only reason I said it. I knew it was less likely for him to remember with him crashing in my arms and I knew it’s what he needed to hear. I sat in my car for what felt like hours, watching the dark, quiet house until my phone went off. It was a message from my brother that had me driving away and back home where I belong.
Carlos: You better not get any stupid ideas in that head of yours tonight and if you already are where I think you are, go home.
I hate how right he was. He always knew too much, making me wonder if the asshole was psychic. A knock comes at my door, and when I open it, Gabriel has a look of annoyance on his face. “Where were you last night?”
I wrinkle my face in confusion, trying to play innocent of anything he's about to accuse me of. I know he doesn't buy it. “Home, where else would I be?”
“Bullshit. You're a fucking liar. You know how I know?”
“How?”
“Carlos put a tracker on your phone. You were with him, weren't you? Please tell me you didn't get out of the fucking car.”
