Page 23 of When Midnight Strikes
20
Cole
My head is battling with my heart, making all comprehension go out the window. It’s all because of Danny sitting right there in front of me with someone who isn’t me, blurring my vision from being able to see anything else. The light shines through the window behind him, creating a glowing hue against his creamy skin, skin I long to touch again. The stranger reaches for his hand, making my blood run icy cold.
The stranger’s eyes meet mine, making Danny turn around to see who he’s staring at. Danny’s eyes grow wide at the sight of me, and I don’t even wait long enough for him to say anything before running out the door, landing me back onto the street, where I parked my car next to his.
He rushes out the door shortly after I do. His eyes meet mine, and the sadness there tugs at my heart before I remember what just happened between him and that guy in the coffee shop. He fidgets with his hands as he debates walking across the street to where I am. I make the decision easy for him by getting into my car and driving away, leaving him standing there alone. How dare he be with another guy after what happened between us last night? Here I am a complete and utter mess over everything, and there he is holding hands with someone else.
How did he expect me to act? First, he lies to me about who he is, causing an argument between us, and then… then he goes on a date with some other guy the next morning. I know we never said we were exclusive, but we never mentioned seeing other people. That guy didn’t look like a stranger, not with the way he looked at Danny as if he was the most precious thing in the world. I pull into my usual parking space in front of the apartment complex. I hurry inside, hoping to avoid all my nosy neighbors today. Sinking into the comfort of my couch cushions, I drop my face into my hands.
I went into that coffee shop today hoping to run into him there, after knocking on his door this morning and getting no response. He said he often went there to work and that if he wasn’t home then that’s usually the only other place he would be. I needed to see him, and now that I have, I wish I never had. I can’t erase the other guy from my mind.
The way he smiled at Danny from across the way before reaching for his hand and the way Danny didn’t pull away. Did Danny smile back? Did his face light up the way it did when I was around? Did his cheeks grow pink the way they did every time I touched him or told him he was beautiful? I tell myself I don’t want to know the answer to these questions, that it’s better I don’t know, and then my phone goes off from an incoming text message.
When Danny’s name appears on the screen, I almost don’t want to look at the whole message, but a part of me needs to know what his explanation will be. Deep down, I’m hoping there is an explanation for today.
Danny: Cole, what you saw today, it’s not what you think. I know that’s a huge cliché, but I really mean it. Just let me come over and explain, please. Just let me come over and apologize… for everything.
Me: There really isn’t anything to explain. Whatever was happening between us is clearly over.
Danny: Cole, please. Just let me come over and explain. I’d much rather not do it over text messaging. It would be a lot easier to do in person.
Me: I’m not sure there is anything to explain. First, you lie to me about being the mystery guy at the New Year’s Eve party, and now you are holding hands with some guy the very next day after we almost… You know what? It doesn’t matter anymore.
Danny: I didn’t mean to lie to you, Cole. I was just letting my insecurities get the best of me, and I know that’s no excuse, but I promise that’s the truth, and it wasn’t my intention to hurt you. Also, that guy at the coffee shop is nothing to me. He was once, but hasn’t been for a long time. It’s just—I really like you.
I begin typing and then stop before setting my phone down on the nearby coffee table. I have nothing left to say to him. There is nothing left to be said. A knock comes to the door, and I just sit there staring at it. The knock comes again, and my feet slowly drag themselves to the front door before opening it to a distraught Danny. I want so badly to just close the door in his face, but something stops me. He has his beanie pulled down, almost touching his eyelashes. It forces me to focus more on those brown eyes of his which I could lose myself in forever. He forces a smile on his face, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“That was Patrick you saw, my ex-boyfriend. He has been trying to talk to me for a while, and I finally agreed, hoping it would get him to finally leave me alone and move on. I don’t want him anymore. I only want you, and I promise that’s the truth.”
His eyes water, and I want so badly to take him in my arms and comfort him, but I dig my feet in the ground to keep me from doing just that. “How do I know you are telling the truth? You lied to me before. Who’s to say you aren’t lying about this too?”
He shakes his head. “I told you—I never meant to lie to you. I’ve never done anything like that before. I didn’t feel like that person at the party was the real me and I wanted you to know me for the real me. I should have told you the moment I knew. I just didn’t expect things to happen so fast between us.”
“That wasn’t something I normally do either. I didn’t expect to feel this way for you so soon. But you still lied to me, and seeing you this morning with that guy pretty much ripped my heart to pieces and made me believe that none of this between us was ever real.”
He shakes his head before reaching for my hand. “It was real. It is real. At least, it’s real for me. I understand if you want nothing to do with me now. I just had to give you my side of the story first. I just wanted to let you know the truth.”
I let him grab my hand and wrap my fingers around his while reaching up to swipe a tear from his eye with my free hand. I don’t like being the one to make him cry. I pull him into my chest, and he buries his head against me. I’m not sure where to go from here, but I know I don’t want to let him go. I like having him in my arms, and once I remember how right it feels to have him this close to me, I want to do everything I can to keep him there.
