Page 50 of A Different Form of Oxygen
Becoming less tense, a smile begins to form on his face. “Okay Angel, since it helps calm you and you asked nicely, I’ll allow it—but make sure to keep that tongue of yours in your mouth where it belongs.”
He turns the song back on and pulls into the driveway of a one story, white, modern house with light blue shutters and a wooden wrap around porch covered with pieces of soft-colored patio furniture and a wooden porch swing. It wasn’t a large house, and the simplicity of it made it more welcoming.
“It’s perfect.” I swing my legs out of the car, sauntering my way up the stone path, leading me to the front of the house, onto the sturdy porch. Gavin’s boots thump along the wooden steps behind me. I take a seat on the squeaking swing, lifting my feet as it moves underneath me.
Gavin stands in front of me, arms crossed, peering down at me with a look of amusement. He always appears younger when he smiles, and the way his lips stretch against his face brightens his brown eyes and takes my breath away. There’s a hint of gold in the center, resembling embers, heating up every inch of my skin.
“Don’t you want to get our bags out of the car before making ourselves comfortable?”
My eyes fall to the car and back at him. His army green V-neck hugs tightly against his body and the way the sleeves are squeezing the bulge of his muscular, tattooed arms is distracting.
“That can wait, but watching this beautiful sunset can’t.” I point up at the pink and yellow hues of the dimming sky. Trying to distract my mind by replacing one beautiful view with another. He takes a seat next to me causing the swing to rock sideways.
“I guess you’re right. You ever watch the sunset with someone before?”
I shake my head, still glancing up at the fading sky. “Not since I was a child. Sometimes I think as adults, we take the small things for granted. We forget to make time for all the beautiful things life has to offer, like sunsets or small conversations on porch swings with hot bartenders.”
His chest shakes from his laughter. “You just had to throw that last one in there, didn’t you? And here I thought I was about to indulge in a serious moment with Ben.”
“I’m sorry for disappointing you.”
He tucks a bit of hair behind my ear. “Don’t ever apologize for being you, and nothing about you disappoints me.”
I lick my lips after watching the way his lips move around each word he says. “I may have a seen a sunset before, but I’ve never been kissed while watching one.”
It doesn’t take long for his eager lips to find mine and bursts of color flow beneath my closed eyelids, and I no longer have to keep them open to appreciate beauty around me because everything about kissing Gavin is fucking beautiful. The air around us becomes crisper against my skin, and the smell of fresh dandelions becomes stronger around me. His lips are rough and the passion flowing between us is overwhelming and I always need more. His lips break from mine and he smiles.
“I guess that’s another first we shared together that you can cross off your list.”
My breathing is heavy against his lips. “I wonder how many more we can cross off here.” As I dig my fingers between the wooden planks of the swing, it suddenly dawns on me. I’ve never had sex on a porch swing before. Maybe our first time making love can take place here and then we can cross another twofirstsoff the list. The only thing is, I haven’t bottomed since David and I’m not sure I’m ready yet. I’ve never trusted anyone enough to allow them the control after David, but with Gavin it’s different. All I want to do is trust and in a way that makes me more terrified. Last time I put my trust in someone, it was the wrong thing to do. Only nothing about being with Gavin feels wrong.
Gavin tilts his head with a look of suspicion. “Do I even want to know what’s on that mind of yours?”
“Probably not, or we will never get those bags into the house.”
He laughs. “Alright then, I’ll grab the bags and you head inside.”
I jump from the swing, letting my feet touch the ground before heading toward the door with the keys hanging on the doorknob. With a quick twist of the knob, I push my way inside, taking in the coolness of the air conditioning and the smell of fresh roses. My steps come to a halt when my eyes land on a vase full of yellow roses sitting on the wooden end table along the front entryway.
They are only roses Ben.
A deep voice and loud steps from behind me have me jumping where I stand. “Hey, looks like they left the place super clean and added some fresh roses. Nothing like the smell of fresh flowers in the air, huh?”
I stand there completely still, unable to force words out of my mouth. They are only flowers.You aren’t scared of flowers.Only the pounding in my chest is telling me otherwise. The touch of a warm hand on my wrist has me jumping again and my body begins to calm at the deep comforting voice soothing every part of me.
“It’s okay, beautiful boy. I’m right here. I got you. Easy does it. Just breathe, baby. Relax and settle.”
Warm arms wrap around me and I lean into them, inhaling that familiar scent that calms the storm brewing inside of me. I turn around, burying my face in his chest, not wanting to move and not wanting to see the flowers that remind me of everything I hated about myself. “I’m not afraid of stupid flowers,” I say with tears clinging at the corners of my eyes. My eyes widen when I realized I said those words out loud. Pulling away from his grasp, I stare up into his dark eyes that are as warm as molten chocolate.
Forehead wrinkling, his eyes fill with worry, he asks, “What’s the matter, baby? Is it the roses? I didn’t realize there was a flower you didn’t like.”
My dry throat makes it painful to swallow. “David always brought me yellow roses,” I say in a raspy voice, my throat stinging from muttering the name I always struggled to say. No matter how much time has passed, his name always leaves a rancid taste in my mouth.
He peers behind me and moves past where I stand. I turn around to watch him grabbing the roses out of the vase and a flash of yellow moves past me before he disappears with them further into the house. Before I can follow him, he steps back into the entryway. Slowly moving my way, he opens his arms to allow me to move between them. I move slowly into his embrace and press my face into his warm chest, and my body is wrapped with the heavy weight of his thick muscular arms. He buries his face into my hair.
“There, no more yellow roses and no more David. Just you and me. It’s only us here.”
I nod, the rhythm of my heart rate steadying in my chest. “Solo nosotros—Only us.”
