Page 35 of A Different Form of Oxygen
Twenty-two
Ben
Gavin’s text had me smiling wide all night long and it was the last thing I had on my mind before coming back to my house with my friends and eating too much sugar and watching too many episodes ofCharmedandBuffy. We couldn’t agree on which one to watch so we compromised the best we could. Jennie is sitting on the sofa, dozing off, while Casey is saying goodnight to Maverick over the phone. I send Gavin a text message, letting him know I didn’t forget about him.
Me:Miss you Papi, see you tomorrow?
Papi Gavin:Still with your friends?
Me:Yeah, we are having a slumber party.
Papi Gavin:Ahh I see, sounds like fun. Have fun Angel and I’ll see you tomorrow. Make sure you eat breakfast.
I smile at his last message, loving the way he is worried about me and how he made sure I take care of myself when he isn’t around. I’m pulled from my thoughts when a pillow hits me over the head. “Earth to Ben. I asked what you want to watch next,” Casey shouts with a smirk on his face.
“Put whatever on, I’ll probably pass out soon anyway. Jen Jen is already a goner.” I point to a snoring Jennie stretched out on the couch, her long blonde hair spilling around her body.
Casey snickers. “So I’ve noticed, I guess that couch is spoken for.”
I nod, moving to the recliner so Casey can lay on the other couch. “You can claim that one; I’ll move to my room in a bit.”
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Those are the last words I remember saying to Casey before I wake up thrashing on my bed, not remembering how I got here or why I couldn’t breathe until my hands land on someone’s thick fingers tightening around my neck. That same voice I ran away from long ago is no longer taking place in my head but above me.
“See what happens when you misbehave, sweet boy? Someone has been bad, and you know what happens to bad boys. They get punished. You belong to me and only me. Don’t make me have to remind you again.” David’s eyes shine in the dark, and his lips form into a grin. I try and scream, and I can’t, a rush of blood goes to my head as I fight to push the weight on top of me off. My vision begins to blur and the screaming in my head surrounds me. Myeyes snap open to a dark room and my body is plastered against my recliner, drenched in sweat. Casey is standing above me, blue eyes big and bright when the lamp nearby comes on. “It’s okay, Ben; you’re just having a bad dream.”
“What’s going on?” Jennie’s sleepy voice fills the room, her fingers rubbing her still closed eyes.
“Nothing; Ben just had a bad dream is all,” Casey says with his eyes full of worry. I hated keeping things from people and here I have Casey lying to Jennie too. His eyes tell me he knew exactly what the nightmares were about. “You okay, Ben? I can stay up with you if you need me to.”
I shake my head. “No, I think I should go to my room. I was probably just dreaming about the show, maybe the background noise mixed in with my dreams.”
Casey sighs, his eyes telling me he knows I’m full of shit, but he doesn’t press anymore about it. “Okay, as long as you’re sure you’re okay.”
I nod, forcing a smile to my face. “I’m sure. Go back to sleep. I know you guys are probably tired.”
I slide out of the recliner and Jennie snuggles back into the sofa. “You don’t have to tell me twice. This girl has a lunch date tomorrow.”
Casey rolls his eyes. “When do you not have a lunch date on Saturday?” He moves back onto the couch and I walk past them both, telling them goodnight one more time before heading to my room. I try and focus back on Gavin’s messages and his warm arms and the way his lips fit perfectly against mine. It’s exactly what I need to help me get back to sleep.
The loud voices outside my room have my eyes open and my body pulling away from my bed. Jennie and Casey are in the kitchen, helping themselves to a pot of coffee, and Jennie is cracking eggs into a bowl. I’m glad she is the one cooking and not Casey. They both look at me when I pull out a chair.
“Morning, Benji,” Jennie says with a huge smile on her face. She is the only friend I let call me by my real name and I even hate hearing her say it at times. At least I can separate her voice from his. I couldn’t do that when my past boyfriends tried calling me by it. It always brought back memories I never wished to visit, cringing as I picture David whispering in my ear, “Don’t you want to please me, Benji? Don’t you want to make me happy, my sweet boy?”
I shake the thoughts from my head before I can let the darkness fully take me in and consume me; I become more reckless whenever I do. “Morning, Jen Jen and morning, Case. Already got the coffee started, I see.”
Casey smiles, setting a cup in front of me. “Don’t worry; I made you some of that tea you love so much.” Jennie laughs when her eyes land on my favorite coffee cup. “Youwouldhave a mug that saysplant daddyon it.”
“You’re right I would,”I say as I take in the sweet aroma of the smell of hibiscus and honey before bringing the cup to my lips. The warm liquid travels down my throat and to my empty stomach, reminding me how hungry I am. Jennie sets three plates of eggs and toast on the table. We eat mostly in silence; my friends knew I was never much of a talker in the mornings.
“So, Ben, when are you going to tell me about you and your new secret boyfriend?”
My eyes go wide. “Oh you know too, huh? Am I really that obvious?”
“Yes, yes you are,” Jennie and Casey both say in unison and we all erupt into laughter. My mood remains happy the rest of the morning, even when it’s time for my friends to leave. I give each one a hug before they disappear out the door. With a loud thud, I shut it closed, sliding my hand down all the locks. My phone vibrates with an alert. I ignore it and decide to get a start on my research paper. Ten pages full of information about plant growth has me rubbing my eyes and yawning. Too tired to check my phone for missed messages or phone calls, I crawl into my bed and close my eyes.
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