Page 32 of A Different Form of Oxygen
I release an exasperated breath, and the world is suddenly caging in on the two of us. All this time, I’ve carried guilt from keeping a secret from the two people I trust the most. “It isn’t. It’s about David.” Focusing on the smell of the dirt around my shoes and the fresh cut grass helps tie me back to earth and brings me back to where I am.
Casey’s eyes widen and his voice seems louder than before, but only because the rest of the world has gone silent. “David. The guy you dated almost two years ago? The one you said you broke up with and left in California?”
“That’s him. I wasn’t exactly honest about why things ended between us and what David did.” My words seem so far away the moment I say them as if I’ve detached myself from them before they even came out.
His whole body tensed, making his jaw go tight. “Oh my god, Ben; what did David do?”
“David hurt me. He lied to me, Casey. He broke me over and over again. He tried to keep me all to himself, locking me in his house until I finally got away.”
Casey gasps, moving his hand to his mouth. “Oh Ben. How come you never told us about this? We could have been there for you more. We could have done more, maybe even got you away from that asshole sooner.”
I shake my head. “It was something I had to do for myself. I had to finally allow myself to see David for the monster he was. I wanted to tell y’all so many times, but I didn’t want to connect that life with this one. I didn’t want to mix the bad with the good.”
He nods his head, before pulling me into his arms. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, Ben. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there the way I should have. I’m here now. We don’t have to go anywhere today if you don’t want to.”
I tremble against his shoulder. “No, I need to. It will be good to get away for a bit. Like I told you earlier, I can’t stay in this house anymore. All it does is remind me what a mess my life is, and I keep expecting for yellow roses to pop up everywhere.”
He raises his brows and pulls away. “Yellow roses?”
“Yeah, someone left a yellow rose on my car today, and I guess it freaked me out a bit. David used to bring me yellow roses every time he was sorry.”
He frowns. “You think it was him?”
“I don’t know; maybe it was the florist next door, but I didn’t see anyone else’s car with one. I just need to get out for a bit. It could be my mind getting the best of me.”
He smiles but the worry in his eyes doesn’t vanish. “We will make a whole day of it and even have a sleepover for old time sake and invite Jennie.”
I pull away, already feeling steadier than before. “I’d like that.”
I wasn’t ready to tell Jennie everything the way I did with Casey, but I knew this was a step in the right direction, and It felt good to finally let someone know. To no longer have to bear the weight of it alone. Keeping this hidden secret from the world was something I could no longer do.
