Page 31 of A Different Form of Oxygen
He slaps me lightly on the ass before kissing me again. “Brat. Okay, this is seriously the last time I say goodbye.”
I let out a sigh. “Okay; see you later, Papi.”
I’m soon left alone in my bathroom and my house fills with the silence I always hate. Squinting my eyes at the bright sun, I step onto my porch when I’m fully dressed for the day. I wish it felt as warm out here as it looked. We were going into springtime, and I was ready for the consistent hot weather. At least then I knew how to dress. I pull into the parking lot of a nearby nursery, already loving the look of the place on the outside.
I’m usually one of those people who ordered their plants online and planted clippings. I didn’t typically have time to stop by stores. The lady at the front greets me with a smile. “How can I help you today?”
I glance around, taking in the lack of employees. “Yeah, I was wondering if you guys were hiring?”
Her eyes sparkle, while she pulls out a piece of paper from the register. I don’t think I’ve filled out a paper application in a long time. It’s hard to believe paper applications still exist. We talk about plants and I tell her about all my favorites at home and about how I’m studying to be a botanist. To my excitement, I’m basically hired on the spot. Yeah, I didn’t need Alex and his threats. He can take them and shove them so far up his ass, he’s shitting thorns for days.
I have an online class today and wanted to get home and get a jump start on my homework before meeting my friends later. I hadn’t seen them in a long time and missed them.
I wasn’t sure what Gavin was doing after he was done at his brother’s, but I’m excited to tell him about my new job. My excitement falls when I see a yellow rose on my windshield. The only person who ever got me yellow roses was David. My eyes frantically search the parking lot. Relief washing over me when there is no sign of David anywhere. Only a family of five climbing out of a red minivan appear from behind me. Squealing toddlers run past me with their parents rushing behind them, yelling at them not to touch the plants.
I glance back at the yellow rose, still not sure where it came from. Maybe it was from someone who worked at the floral shop connected to the nursery. I decide to not let my mind wonder too much about it, telling myself I’m not scared of a yellow rose. They were always David’s way of apologizing to me, and I now stayed away from yellow flowers all together. I make sure there aren’t any thorns and hand it to one of the bouncing children and the mother smiles my way as a silent thank you.
My concentration shifts to my ringing phone. When I recognize Casey’s flashing picture, my finger quickly taps the answer button.
“Hey Case, what’s up?”
“Hey, Ben…I’m about to get off work in a few hours and wanted to see if you wanted to grab food or something.”
I smile, not able to remember the last time we hung out alone. “Yes, that sounds great. I don’t have anything planned for the day, just some online class work. We have lots to catch up on.”
“This wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with Gavin, would it?”
My eyes go wide. “What would give you that idea?”
He huffs. “Oh please Ben, you two are about as subtle as a man streaking down the street.”
I chuckle. “I guess the secrets out.”
“You were never very good at keeping secrets.”
If only he really knew. “I guess nothing gets past you and Jennie does it? Speaking of Jennie, tell her to bring her ass along too.”
I guess there was no sense of hiding what was going on between me and Gavin. I had no intentions of keeping him or what we had a secret. It’s so new, and now that I know where we stand, it’s easier to talk about.
We agree to go in Casey’s car before I hang up the phone. Casey was very particular when we were on the road. I always took turns too sharp or stopped too abruptly at stop signs and red lights. This way we can enjoy catching up on the drive to the restaurant. I pass the time watering my plants, coming to a halt when I reach my growing monstera. Running my fingers over the new sprouted leaf, remembering the ache in my face from smiling too wide and the warming of my heart when Gavin handed me the clipping. There was always something unspoken flowing between us, but the more we spent time around each other, the louder it became.
The sound of crunching dirt has me yanking my hand away from the plant, peeking outside my greenhouse. My heart slows down when my gaze lands on Casey, knitting his eyebrows together. “Hey, I thought I might find you back here. I was surprised to find your door open. You never leave your door open. Not even when you check the mail or take out the trash.”
The blood rushes from my face. I forgot to lock the door. How could I have forgotten to lock the door? I let myself get sidetracked with the excitement of this new thing with Gavin; it clogged my ability to think. Causing me to make stupid mistakes, mistakes that could land me back in the same situation David put me in many times. “Yeah, um that was because I knew you were coming.”
Casey steps closer, not blinking his eyes for a long time. “What’s really going on, Ben? You can tell me you know. We’ve always told each other everything. Is this about Gavin?”
I swallow the lump in my throat, burying my feet deeper into the ground. “No, it’s not about Gavin. Things with Gavin are great. I think.”
“What is it then? I feel like I’ve been a lousy friend lately.”
“Stop; this is as much on me as it is you. I ’haven’t exactly been honest about a lot of things and I’m sorry. I didn’t want you or Jennie to ever see this side of me, to ever view me as this weak person, and I promise this has nothing to do with Gavin.”
He morphs his face into a serious expression. “Jennie and I would never think that about you, and you know that. We all have weak moments; that doesn’t make us weak. You are the one who told me that exact thing before.”
The sounds of my thoughts are overpowering the birds chirping and cars passing on the road nearby. “Yeah, that was before.”
His brows furrow, causing his glasses to shift. “I have a feeling this isn’t just about losing your job.”
