Page 28 of A Different Form of Oxygen
“Also, we should probably talk about limits. I think you know by now I’m a Dom and you respond to me the way a sub would, but if that isn’t what you want then tell me now and not because it’s what I want. I want you to want it just as much. Not only sometimes, but all the time. I’ve been played before by my ex-boyfriend, and then he left me for an older man. An older man with a larger bank account than me. Turns out Kyle only liked to do scenes when other people were around. He wasn’t a real sub. He enjoyed the excitement of people watching.”
My smile fades. Looks like I wasn’t the only person who was let down by someone they loved and trusted. “I’m sorry you went through that, Gavin. I know I kept something from you before, but I would never do anything to purposely hurt you and I’m done being something I’m not in order to please someone else. I want everything you want but I am new to all this, so you will need to be patient with me. Everything I know is from online articles and porn. I’ve also been on a few BDSM chat forums in the past. Also, I’m not sure about limits yet, so far everything we’ve done has been good. Can we start with that and go from there?” I didn’t want to tell him I was someone’s sub before, or that I’d met David on a chat forum. David was as much of a Dom as Gavin’s ex was a sub. It took me a lot of time and therapy to realize David was nothing more than a monster. David didn’t do Safe words; he didn’t do the things a Dom was supposed to do so I really wasn’t lying when I told him these things.
He laughs and the cheerful sound makes me smile again. “Yeah, I wouldn’t believe everything you watch in porn and I’m always willing to be patient with you. After all, a working relationship takes effort from both ends and I want a relationship with you, Ben. We can start with orgasm control and go from there and maybe set a few rules.”
“That all sounds good. What sort of rules?” I ask excitedly.
“Making sure you eat three meals a day, no touching your cock or coming without permission, and no back talking your Papi.”
“Okay.” I kiss him long and sweetly and my growling stomach interrupts our kiss. “We should probably go eat now, huh?”
“Yeah, that’s a great idea. The sooner we go eat, the sooner we can get back into bed.” He walks ahead of me, heading for the door. “Oh, by the way, I like that you call me daddy in Spanish.”
“Yo tambien, Papi.” My mouth presses against his before I shove him out the door. “Me too.”
He tugs me against his chest, almost causing us to tumble onto the porch. My next-door neighbor glowers in our direction when our laughter increases. It only makes us laugh more. Gavin points to my plants near our feet. “So you never told me which plant was your favorite.”
I want to tell him that my growing Monstera plant has become my favorite, but only because it came from him and I loved watching it grow the way my feelings for him did, but I wasn’t ready to open up in that way yet. “Lilacs. My mom used to have lilacs all around the house and they always made her happy. My dad always brought her a new plant when he had to go away on business. He said they were to help make her smile when he was away and unable to. When my dad died, so did my mom’s love for the plant.”
I frown at the memory of the day we lost my dad and my mom didn’t want lilacs anywhere in the house. They reminded her too much of him and sometimes I would buy some and hide them in my room so that my room smelled of them. I would close my eyes and pretend everything was good again.
Gavin takes my hand in his again, rubbing his thumb against the back of my palm. My dad gave my mother lilacs to make her smile, and Gavin always gave me the comfort I needed, and truth be told, everything about Gavin makes me smile.
