Page 24 of A Different Form of Oxygen
Sixteen
Ben
When I think things couldn’t get any more confusing, they do. Gavin kisses me and my world is spinning, causing a lack of oxygen to my brain. His tongue is like silk against mine and tastes heavenly in my mouth. His fingers dig into my hair, tugging on the strands as he pulls my face closer to his, deepening the kiss. I am finally accepting us being nothing more than friends and he goes and kisses me so hard it nearly makes me lose my balance. My lips are still buzzing as I get into my car. His taste remains in my mouth on the drive home, reminding me how much I don’t want it to go away. I couldn’t let him do it again if it didn’t mean to him what it meant to me. I’ve gone down that road before and I won’t again.
There were so many times I wanted to tell him about the night at the club, but I struggled to get the words past my lips, hoping all the little hints I dropped would be enough. That night at the club, we both gave each other what we needed most, but I didn’t think we could come back from it. I didn’t want to lose the friendship we’d formed, and now it was on the verge of breaking again. All because he had to kiss me.
Alex is standing in my driveway with his arms crossed. My hand tightens on the gear shift as I put it in park, clenching my jaw. He isn't supposed to come to my house. I always go to his; that's always the deal. Except I hadn't been to his house once since I started hanging out with Gavin. I no longer want to. Gavin was always the better option over Alex any day; most people were.
"What are you doing here, Alex?” I ask, slamming my car door closed behind me.
His arms drop to his side as he rushes over, cupping my face in his hands. “I miss you, baby, and that’s no way to greet your lover.” He frowns, eyes wrinkling making him appear older and less attractive.
I sneer, ripping my face from his grasp. “You aren’t my lover, Alex. We distracted each other for a while, but you moved on and that's fine because this isn’t what I want anymore.”
He remains silent, with his lips curling with disdain. Bumping my shoulder against his, I move past him to head into my house.
He doesn’t move from where he is and his voice carries when he says, “You keep walking away from me and you can kiss your job goodbye. You forget I own you. You wouldn’t be in this nice house or driving this car if it wasn’t for me.”
My stomach churns at those words.You belong to me. My memories of David’s eyes growing dark with possession as he tightened his grip on my face every time he muttered those same words to me are now poisoning my mind. I swallow hard, turning to face him.
“That’s where you're wrong, Alex. You don’t own me. No one does, and no one ever will again. You know why? Because I’m a person, not a fucking thing. And don’t bother firing me. I quit!”
Without a backward glance, I stomp off into the comfort of my home, latching every lock before I fall to the floor, pressing against the door. My head sinks into my hands, feeling defeated. Knowing I really messed up. I may just lose everything I worked hard for. My shoes scrape against the floor as I lift myself to stand.
A knock at my door stops me from continuing to my room. My temper ignites. Rage shoots through me before I get the door open. “I told you, Alex. I…” My words catch in my throat when I am met with a disheveled Gavin, dark coffee colored eyes sink into mine. “What...um...what are you doing here, Gav?” I say backing away from the door, letting my guard drop.
Gavin always has that effect on me. He shuffles back and forth, toeing the line that crosses my door. He's nervous. Gavin's never nervous. I guess you could say the same for me when my feelings for Gavin only increased and I didn’t know how to be around him anymore. But there was no way he was nervous for the same reason, was there? I'm about to ask again why he's here, when he stops my words from leaving my mouth with his.
"Ben, look...about tonight. When you asked if we were friends, I froze up like an idiot. You tend to have me doing that often, which is strange, because no one has ever had that effect on me before."
My brows furrow as my fingers tighten around the door. "Is that what you came here to say? That I have some weird effect on you that turns you into an idiot?”
"Wait, no. That's not what I meant. I just meant that…damn, I'm bad at this."
I press my hand against the door frame. "Yes, yes you are, but I'm finding it entertaining. Do keep going."
He chuckles, moving closer to me. Running his thumb over my lips. "What I'm trying to say is, I like you and not just as a friend."
My eyes go wide in surprise. I’m having a difficult time focusing on his words when his skin is rubbing against mine. He likes me. What does that mean exactly? Does he mean the same way Alex liked me? Am I just some placeholder until something better came along?
Before I can question it any further, his mouth is on mine, making me no longer care what he meant. I need him to keep kissing me. Our lips move together in sync as he thrusts his tongue inside my mouth, causing me to moan against his lips. His body moves against mine and I’m being pushed backward into my house. The door slams shut, making me jump, raising my heart rate in a different way than Gavin did. My lips pull from his, and my eyes land on the now closed door with the locks still flipped open.
"Sorry, should I have not kicked it closed?" he asks, pulling my attention back to him. I shake my head.
"No, that's fine. The loud sound just caught me off guard. I'm just going to lock the door." I move around him, keeping my same routine as I turn each lock. I swallow hard, turning back to him. “Sorry; force of habit when you're still so used to living on the wrong side of town."
He smiles. "You wouldn't want to know my door locking habits then. I never lock mine."
My eyes go wide. "Well, good thing we are at my house right now and not yours huh?"
He chuckles.” You're too far away. Come back over here, beautiful." His voice is deep and demanding.
I glance up at him with fluttering lashes. "Yes, Papi.” My body can't help but respond to the dominance laced in his voice. His pupils dilating tell me it hasn’t gone unnoticed.
His arms open in invitation and my body moves between them. Chest to chest, he swipes my hair from my face with the rough blade of his thumb. Taunting me with that mouth of his. I look behind me before bringing my attention back to him. "You're not trying to distract me so you can steal something of mine again, are you?"
He laughs. "Nope. I already have what I want right here. Now stop being a brat or there will be consequences." His mouth is on mine again, almost causing me to sink to my knees. His hand touches the skin underneath my shirt and I wish he would stop wasting time and pull it off me already. I didn't want to rush things though. Not now that I'm finally kissing him again. He grasps the back of my head, pulling my face closer to his, deepening the kiss. We may have done this before, but it's different this time. Today he knows exactly who I am, and I’mnot hiding behind a mask.
