Page 23 of A Different Form of Oxygen
Fifteen
Gavin
Ben's last message still plays in my mind for the last thirty minutes:I know just what you need.
I want to question what he means when a customer taking a seat in front of me has me sliding my phone back in my pocket. "Hey there man, what can I get you?"
He squints his eyes as if he is looking over some invisible menu behind me. "I'll take a rum and coke."
I nod, before making his drink. More people pour into the bar after I hand him his rum and coke. When I messaged Ben earlier, the place was dead. Now I don't even have time to glance at my phone. I get a free minute once the rush ends and that's when someone loudly clears their throat behind me, so loud I can hear it over the music. I sigh, sliding my phone in my pocket. My frown fades when my eyes land on the face I’ve been wanting to see all day. "Hey, what are you doing here? Don’t you work tonight?"
He takes a seat in the stool, sliding his hand over the bar. "You said you were bored and I told you I knew what you needed, so here I am! I came by to keep you company."
He wasn't wrong, he is exactly what I need. I didn't expect him to actually come down here. I would have settled for some texting back and forth, but I preferred this much better. He cocks his head to the side.
"Are you going to get me a drink or are you going to stand there staring at me funny?"
I chuckle. "What can I get you, brat?"
"I'll take a melon ball. You can make one of those right?" He twists a napkin in his hand, wiggling in his seat and it takes everything out of me not to reach over to help settle his restlessness.
Struggling to remain where I stand, I nod, grabbing an empty glass. "I can and that seems exactly like something you would ask for. By the way, you are the only person to ask for one of those here."
He smiles, fluttering his lashes, his green eyeshadow shimmering under the bar lights. "Does that mean I get it for free?”
I laugh; his lustful eyes have me wanting to give him anything he wants. "I guess I can make that happen since you came all the way over here to keep me company. How was the quiz, by the way?"
He takes the drink from my hand, eyeing it curiously before taking the first sip. "That is a good melon ball." He sets the glass down, licking his glossy lips. The action of his moving tongue and glistening lips distract me, and I’m nearly pouring beer onto the floor. His finger trails the rim of his glass. “It was good, I think. Luckily, I studied for it a few days ago on my lunch break. I just needed to slam my head against my desk to wake myself up enough to bring the answers back to my brain.”
I laugh, not able to take my eyes off his mouth. I wonder what flavor his lip gloss is or if he would consider letting me taste it. “Ouch. I hope your head is okay. Maybe I shouldn’t have given you that drink. I hope you at least got some rest after class. I was worried you didn’t get enough sleep last night.”
He holds his cup in his hands, swishing the green liquid around against the glass. “Yeah, I’ll live. It was a small bump on the head and yeah, I got a nice nap in afterward. I’m happy to know you were so worried about me.”
Someone shouts for me on the other side of the bar and I frown in Ben’s direction. “I hate to cut this short, but duty calls. Don’t go anywhere.”
He lifts his drink in the air. “Yes, Papi. I’ll be here all night long, waiting for you. After all, I can’t let a free drink go to waste.”
The way he responds satisfies something inside me, but also has me feeling guilty when it has my mind falling back to the mysterious angel. There are moments where it almost feels like him and Ben are the same person but that’s crazy. The more I'm around him, the more his submissive side becomes apparent. We don't get to talk much as more people come up to request drinks and Ben gets lost in conversation with the people nearby. Turning around to smile at me in between talking. A song by Lizzo comes on and Ben is jumping out of his seat, putting some distance between him and the bar stool. With his mouth, he mimics the fast-sung words as his smile widens in my direction.
All eyes are on Ben standing in the middle of the bar swaying his hips, getting lost in the music. The bar is adorned with dimmed lights highlighting his skin. He remains completely oblivious to everyone around him as his body moves effortlessly, leaving me mesmerized. Other people dance around him, and I'm amused at the affect he has on others. No one ever dances in my bar. It wasn't that kind of place, but Ben wasn't my typical customer. When he came by, he said he wanted to keep me company. He wasn't exactly keeping me company in this moment, but he was keeping me entertained, pulling my attention away from things I was supposed to be doing. Beer overflowed the cup in my hands, pulling me away from the trance Ben has me in.
The cold liquid has me jerking my hand away and backing away from the tap, avoiding spilling beer on my clothes. The tops of my shoes are now wet and will probably be sticky for days. I groan in annoyance at my lack of attention. Setting the cup on the bar, I wipe it with a napkin before sliding it over to the smiling customer. I grab a rag from underneath the counter, wiping off the mess the best I could. How could I let him distract me this way? When Ben stepped in the room, it was hard to pay attention to anyone else. It wasn't only my attention he captured. A regular was moving his body against Ben. My jaw clenches and my grip tightens on the new glass I was getting ready to fill.
"Hey, is everything okay? Any tighter and your hand will go right through that cup. Are you going to fill that, or should I? I’m guessing he’s a friend of yours. Maybe you should go keep him company so other men don’t have to.” Rebecca, one of my bartenders, laughs, her brown eyes staring right at me. One hand pressing tightly on her hip, as the other reaches to pull the cup from my hand. "I'll take that as a yes. Go on, go take a break, boss. I haven't seen you take one the whole time you've been here. You're a person too, you know. Who is he anyway? He sure does have all your attention tonight."
My eyes fall back on Ben laughing as the guy whispers something in his ear, making me feel like I have smoke blowing out of mine. I take a step back before facing Rebecca's amused expression as she fills the empty glass in half the time it was taking me. "Thanks, and what do I care what he does? He's a grown man and he’s just a good friend of mine who came by to hang out. If he wants to flirt with Brad, he can."
She laughs, sliding the now filled cup to the customer who is too wrapped up in their conversation to notice. "Friends? Is that what you're calling it? Not everyone's as blind as you are, you know. Besides, pretty sure he has zero interest in Brad. I think you already know that though. You are the reason he's here after all. You did say he came here to hang out with you. You can’t stop watching him, and the guy can't keep his eyes off you even when talking to someone else."
My eyes fall to Ben's big green ones searing into mine, accompanied by a flirty smile that has my cock twitching in my pants. It would appear that way to anyone else but that's because no one knows I may have missed my chance a long time ago by being too wrapped up in something that wasn’t real, and now I’m way deep in the friend zone. Instead of getting Ben's flirty touches and words, I get to watch other people enjoy them. I'm ready to end that. I walk over to Ben, a wave of confidence slipping over me. No longer able to stop from going after what I want. I step in between Ben and Brad. Ben's eyes go wide in surprise at first and then he licks his lips, smiling.
“Hey there, Papi.
I close the distance between us. Cupping the back of his head, my fingers grip the strands of his hair as I pull his face against mine causing our noses to rub and our breath to mingle. Ben swallows, standing still against me with his lips trembling against mine.
“Please, Papi.”
That's all it takes for my mouth to claim his, pushing my tongue between his cherry-glossed lips. His sweet taste explodes in my mouth as our tongues slide against one another. Feeling tight against my body, my shirt twists in the grip of his fingers as his erection presses against mine, making me wish we weren't standing in the middle of a bar. Our kisses become rough and desperate, and I'm now oblivious to everything but Ben as I get lost in the warmth of his mouth. Our breathing is heavy when we finally break apart. My lips are already begging to be back on his. Ben licks his lips, and they are red and swollen.
“Well, that was unexpected. Not unwanted, but unexpected…and very confusing. Why did you do that exactly?"
I stumble on my words at first, not wanting to mess this up. Just say the words because I like you. Instead I freeze up like an idiot and say, "I don't know."
Ben runs a hand through his hair, eyes falling to his feet. "Yeah, well maybe you should figure it out then because I don't do those sorts of things with my friends and that's what we are isn't it?"
Once again, I stand there like a moron, not sure where that spontaneous guy went, but he needs to come back. I know I stay quiet for too long when he lets out a drawn-out sigh. "You know what, forget it. I'm going home. I'll see you around, Gav."
I want to stop him, but my words come out like a whisper as he makes his way through the standing crowd and the loud music of my bar drowning out the sounds of his footsteps. My feet remain stuck as if I've been permanently cemented to the ground. He pushes the door open and heads toward the parking lot, disappearing out of sight. I want to scream at myself for my lack of words. He was right here in front of me and all I had to say was "I don't want to be friends."
Something simple that became way too hard when the moment came. I guess you can't call me a seize the moment guy. I wanted out of the friend zone but not in this way. Tonight, I took one step forward, only to take a giant jump back. A while ago, something about Ben coming into full focus used to send alarm bells to my head, reminding me of all my failed relationships with guys like him. Ben had reckless and uncertainty written all over him when we first met. But there was also something else hidden beneath the surface, something that kept pulling me toward him, more than just his submission, and now I know he is nothing like the guys I dated before. Ben is this hidden gem I had to dig deep to find. I no longer want to ignore my feelings for him and the next time we are standing face to face, I'll tell him exactly how I feel.
