Page 22 of A Different Form of Oxygen
Fourteen
Ben
Bending down to retrieve a pencil that rolled off my desk onto the floor leads me to giving myself the worst headache when I slam my head into the table on the way up. Last night's drinking and late-night movie watching with Gavin has me struggling to keep my eyes open, leaving all brain function to go out the window. Here I am now, trying to remain awake long enough to finish taking my quiz while attempting to drown out thoughts of how warm Gavin’s arm felt around me this morning. How his scent was the first one I smelled when I woke up. Why I agreed to be friends with him when I have it bad for the guy, I have no clue. I found it easy saying yes to Gavin. The word always slipped out easily from my mouth as if my body refused to ever tell him no. I want to pound my thoughts of Gavin out of my head, the way I keep jabbing this eraser against my paper.
I read over each question several times before choosing the best answer. My memory starts kicking in from when I studied a few nights ago and the answers come quicker. I shade in the circle to the last question before I'm standing up from my chair, swinging my bag over my shoulder. My test and answer sheet hit the desk catching my professor's attention. He gives me a silent thank you before I'm racing out the door, practically falling into my heated car. The sun blinds me when I pull out of the emptying parking lot.
Sliding on my sunglasses, I crank up the air, wishing I put on shorts last night even though I hate them. It was late April and occasionally we were still getting some cooler nights but lately it's been so hot I feel like my skin is melting off my body. You never know what you're going to get in Texas. I’m nearly tempted to strip off my shirt when my sweaty back sticks to my seat.
My neighborhood seems louder than usual; I don't typically pull up in front of my house early in the day. Lately, I've been coming home late from working all night on my feet, dancing. Seeing everything during the day light reminds me I need to water my plants lining the porch. I bend over them, running my hands over their dry leaves and soil giving them a thoughtful frown.
Some plant lover I am. I've been working so much and spending all my extra free time with Gavin and my friends, I've neglected my babies. I pull the hose free, turning on the spigot until the water splashes against the brick. Lowering the pressure, I give my plants what they hadn't been getting from me. I only brought them outside because it was getting warmer and I enjoyed pulling up in front of my house greeted by their beauty.
The living room is quiet when I enter my house again, and it's always unnerving. The loud turn of the locks flipping down against my hands doesn’t drown out the silence long enough. When it gets too quiet, I swear I can hear David clicking his jaw, the way he always did when we were in the same room together. Sometimes his favorite song he used to hum while working would pop in my head, and if I was alone it would grow loud enough to make me want to scream. Over a year later, and I can’t escape those sounds or the memories. The nightmares have become more vivid lately. That was until last night. I slept better than I had in years, feeling warm and safe in Gavin’s arms. I wonder how many movie nights he would agree to each week. I shake my head from the ridiculous thought.
My favorite YouTube music channel comes on with a few clicks of my remote. A slow melody plays as I rummage for food in the fridge. Sniffing the spoiled take out almost has me changing my mind on eating all together. I toss the old food in the trash and make myself a turkey and cheese sandwich. I barely had enough energy to push the last bite into my mouth. My legs were dragging on the way to my room as my bed called for me. Pulling off my shirt, I climb under my covers. I shove my face in the pillow, letting my green pillowcase be the last thing I see.
My phone vibrating against my nightstand has me pressing the blanket tighter against my head. It doesn't stop though, and I probably have been sleeping for way too long anyway. With my face still buried in my pillow, I feel for my phone. I lift my face to read the incoming text messages. Three are from Gavin.
Papi Gavin:Hey, I'm bored at work. Keep me entertained.
Papi Gavin:Never mind, I'lljust talk to all the bottles of alcohol lining the wall.
Papi Gavin:It's totally fine as long as they don't talk back right?
I chuckle, noticing the messages were from a few hours ago. Then why did it go off now. That's when I see the missed call from Alex. I told him I wasn't working tonight, and I meant it. He can find someone else. Maybe the new guy who has been warming his bed lately can help him out. I drag my body out of bed, slipping on a clean shirt and replacing my yoga pants for jeans. Gavin asked me to keep him company, so that's exactly what I'm going to do. He probably didn't mean in person, but I could use a drink and I miss that sexy smile of his. So why not kill two birds with one stone. I grab the phone and hit reply to Gavin's message.
Me:I think you may be turning into a needy chick; I may have to end our friendship.
Papi Gavin:He lives! I was worried for a minute there.
Me:Still bored?
Papi Gavin:Is this a trick question?
Me:I was going to say if you were then I know just what you need.
